All experience derived from human interaction has the potential to be extremely challenging. The fact is that any relationships can be difficult. Whether we are talking about a marriage, a parent/child relationship or a friendship, problems can and do arise from time to time. With just a few simple considerations, any relationship can be successfully improved.
1.) Commit to eliminating criticism and blame. Oftentimes, we use these defensive type mechanisms in an almost automatic way to help us cope with a stressful situation. Ironically, these elements only serve to increase stress in the relationship rather than reduce it.
2.) Diligently seek to find out how the other person receives love. We all have different ways that we experience love and acceptance. For example, one person may need to be hugged or touched in some way in order to feel special, whereas another individual may need verbal validation and praise. Many times we think we are giving people what they require in regard to love in relationships because we are viewing life from only one perspective – ours. When we shift our viewpoint, we can see that different actions have different meanings to people and we can work to adjust our behavior accordingly.
3.) Consciously look for the positive attributes in the other person. Everybody has positives for which they can be appreciated. If a husband goes to work every day – recognize him for it! If a wife cooks a great meal – compliment her! If the children put their shoes up – praise them for it! Habitually looking for the positives in life will not only improve relationships but will also create a ripple effect by initiating new patterns of thinking that will then be applied to other areas of life, leading to more positive outcomes.
Small changes can yield enormous results especially in the area of human relationships. Having respect and consideration for those we are in relationship with can greatly affect our ability to live peaceably with other people. All that is needed is a willingness to observe and modify our own defensive behavior. We can then begin to communicate and learn about the needs of others and to realize that their needs are almost always just a little different from our own. Relationships are made to be enjoyed and with an increase of awareness and a little effort any relationship can be improved and transformed into a joyful and lasting experience.
