Depression is like a cancer, it eats away at the human spirit. I have seen depression devour people to the point their families, friends and co-workers no longer recognize them. Growing up my father always worked himself to death,he was never home and hated to be home, he would hardly smile or laugh and didn’t like to spend time with my brother and I, we were always at our Grandparents house and eventually we started calling them mom and dad. Looking back twenty seven years I realize that depression took my father from me. Determined I decided to take action, fervently finding ways to stop this potential cycle. The last thing I want to do is follow in this destructive path, and miss out on my children’s lives. I still need to fight off depression because of my background it can be a daily process, no one ever said it would be easy. As with anything it takes time, but with perseverance, faith and believing in ones self it is possible to Overcome it. Here are some ways I have personally followed to keep me on the right path.
- Meditate
Meditation is key. It starts on the inside and works its way into our daily lives. When we are centered we begin to recognize that our life is starting to be more positive and less stressful. Here are some ways to meditate.
- Find time to be in a quiet place. Sit comfortably and close your eyes, breathe in through your nose and out the mouth at a slow pace. Allow all negative thoughts to leave your mind. Imagine yourself in a beautiful place example: sitting under a tree, laying in the cool grass, on the beach, flying above the world. Once in your place of relaxation you will be able to experience rest, an almost light and airy feeling in your body.
- Prayer is another type of meditation. Concentrating on God and His goodness will also bring you peace. Talk to Him as if you were talking to a good friend. It does not have to be uniform, be yourself. Tie in the meditation process above and it will amplify your prayer life.
Meditate/pray at the beginning and end of your day every day for thirty minuets and you will have peace of mind and see life in a more positive light.
2. Mirror motivation
When we face our depression giant eventually we will grow bigger and stronger than it and be able to defeat it with ease. Look at yourself in the mirror and say the I Am’s.
- I am beautiful/handsome
- I am a blessing
- I am loved
- I am a good friend
- I am a good person
- I am worth a lot to this world
- I am a good parent/child
- I am a good husband/wife/fionce’/boyfriend/girlfriend
- I am an asset to my company/church/organization
- I am important to all who know me
- I am proud to be me
- I am going to make this depression disappear
- I am strong
- I am bigger than my depression
- I am not going to let this defeat me
- I am going to have a great day no matter what comes my way!
At first you will most likely roll your eyes and think its silly talking to yourself in the mirror but getting in the habit of talking positive to yourself will help you begin to believe it.
3. Write a journal
Write daily in a journal about your day, how you were feeling how you over came it and how you are feeling now. On the next page write something positive about yourself and life. It can be as small as ” I found a shiny penny to day, someone smiled at me, I did great on that project”. … Writing everything down will help you to channel all your feelings without taking it out on your family or others.
4. Acceptance and forgiveness
Now number four will help those with depression due to situations of abuse (of any kind) pain, or any type of hurt in the past or recent experiences. If you have been or are being abused in any way: physically,mentally, emotionally,sexually or even spiritually PLEASE get help! Tell someone you trust, it is important to tell someone so it can stop. Abuse is NOT okay. I was molested by several people who I thought loved me, it started when I was six months to twelve years old and I was physically,emotionally and mentally abused by a step parent for nine years. The reason I am telling this for the world to see is because I found the light at the end of the tunnel.There is hope and healing. God allowed me to get out of that situation at fifteen. It took me until I was seventeen to realize that I was giving my abusers power over my life by not forgiving them. Even though I haven’t seen them since it stopped I was bitter and angry for what they did to me and I relived those nightmares due to PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). Without contacting them I prayed to God and told Him that I forgave my abusers and asked God to fill my heart with forgiveness, to take away my bitterness and anger and also to make the nightmares go away. I felt free once I gave it to God. I accept that it happened to me and that there was a reason no one caught on to what they were doing to me because now I can relate to others and try to help them get through it and heal just like I am now.
Now the step parent situation. I wrote a letter describing what they did in detail and how it made me feel and how angry I was that they treated me that way while I was pregnant with my first child four years ago. After I wrote that letter and sent it,my father called me and we talked for along time, he sincerely apologized and I forgave him. I asked him to be apart of my life now and letting go of the past. He came to the birth of his first grand baby and has been involved ever since. When our daughter was ten months we visited for Christmas and I confronted my step mom, and thanked her for abusing me ( in a serious tone) because if it never happened I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t be happily married to a man who validates me and loves me and I wouldn’t have my daughter. I feel I am stronger for going through it and being victorious over the abuse. I feel that I am more of a mother than she could ever be. I told her that I forgave her and I was giving the past to God and I was free from that past. We hugged. She said thank you for forgiving me. I allowed her to hold my daughter for the first time. It was so freeing and everyone could tell that the healing process had begun. After that Christmas we continued to talk and by that next year she apologized to me for everything. I told her that it was washed away and that I totally forgiven her. I told her that there are more years in the future than in the past and I wanted to enjoy the future with her. We have a great relationship now. The past is just that, the past.
There is healing when you begin to accept that you cannot change the past, that it did happen, and it will never repeat its self in your life. The last step is Forgiveness and letting it go forever. Yes you were cut, yes you bled but eventually you will heal and the scab will cover the wound and eventually fall off, and yes you will have a scar to remind you of the pain and how it got there but its healed and no longer bleeding or painful. It is however your choice to let the wound heal or keep picking at it breaking it open and it getting infected.
Words to live by:
“There are more years in the future than in the past, so enjoy a beautiful pain free future.”
A positive look on life and taking the negatives head on like a warrior will help you become victorious over your depression. It is a daily process and with determination it will eventually become easier to snap out of it. You will be back to the you everyone loves and knows. Someone somewhere is praying for you right now that you will find inner peace and tranquility and a hope to go on in this life a happier more fulfilled person.
