When it comes to dating or relating, so many things have changed over the last 20 years, that it can become difficult to know just how to catch that next single fish without letting the bait go.
If you are in need of some flirt revitalization, and some tips to flirting the Classy Way, than this factoid is for you!
1. Don’t Give Away the Cow, Before They Sample the Milk
You may have heard your mother, or your grandmother use this saying, and you should’ve listened!
What it means, for those who haven’t guessed, is that if you dress to provacatively, or you get to flirty or sexual in the beginning of your hopefully soon to be relationship, you could ruin your chances of going home with any numbers.
Men are fickle creatures. Of course they are going to look at the women with most of her cleavage showing. Of course they are going to go gaga for the women with the short red dress. That doesn’t mean that they will go home with that scandally clad woman, or that anything will come of it if they do go farther than the dance floor. Those woman are seen as pure sexual objects, not woman, not a person. The men that are truly attracted to them, are generally users and vain men themselves.
You definitely do not want to be the woman who draws attention to yourself through being barely clothed. Instead, it’s better to be noticed for your confidence without the flashy jewelery or dress, and definitely with out without a man. Your clothing should be appropriate to the evening you are enjoying, but make sure there is plenty covered up, so there is plenty for your future flirt to "imagine."
Remember that men have very creative minds when they are curious. If you wear a low front top that shows just about everything except your nipples, there is not much left to be desired. The image get instantly transfered into their minds, and passes just as quickly.
If instead you wore tight number that showed off your frontal figure, but left the image to the beholders imagination, you will be egging the guys on to come and talk to you, and see if they can have a chance to quench their imagination. It says something about a woman who doesn’t show off everything in public places.
"She won’t flaunt in a relationship either,
she’s easy maintenance,
she’s respectful to herself,
she’s not easy,
and she will probably be good to me…"
These are the possible thoughts going through a mans mind when he see’s you. Whether it’s the first time, of the tenth time, it’s best to retain your diginity, if you want to attract a worthy flirt and long term relationship.
2. Be Spontaneous
So many woman are worried about how they are going to flirt with a man, or how a date will go, that they over dramatize it. Or make it really more complicated then it needs to be. Instead of studying up on romantic flicks, porno’s and celebrities how to’s, spend some more time focusing on how you feel at the moment.
If you’re just meeting them, try to keep a handle on anything to forward at first. Give them at least a couple of hours to get used to you first! But if they seem receptive and are enjoying themselves to, there is no reason you can’t go with what you feel.
If you want to kiss them, give them a little ear nibble. Or if you’re really feeling passionate, every man remembers the time he was kissed so deeply he felt like his feet left the ground, go a head and take the risk!
Just make sure to forget what you know, or all the research you have done on "how to kiss" or "How to flirt", up until this factoid, and go with inspiration. If you’ve been sitting close and talking for a while, and you want to get closer, take their hand in yours, or put your hand on his leg. That one always drives them wild!
Don’t be to obvious, or get to personal, just put your hand on his leg casually when you feel the urge, and squeeze it hear and there when you feel it might be fun. If they reciprocate the flirtatious feelings, they might put a hand on your hand, kiss you, or maybe try to get a little closer. Who knows! That’s why it’s called being spontaneous!
When you go with the moment, it seems less rehearsed, desperate or cheap. It feels like you are really that passionate when you try to show them, instead of pervaying that you have done research on what a man should want. It needs to be more natural, and more you.
3. Something A Bit Forward
Now, this segment has to be taken with some consideration. You don’t ever want to be overly forward with a man. Not only is it very intimidating for most men, but it can make you look cheap and easy. This is the opposite of how you want them to feel, and so you must take care with this tip.
It never hurts to test the waters with your flirtatious fabio, especially if he showing mutual attraction. Ask him how he feels about sex on the first date, or what his views on sex before marriage are. You might see him jump a little at the question, but when said just right, and not to directly, it can be quite the card to play. He may be thrown off by what you said, but there is no doubt of the sexual inuendo in those questions.
You could also try something as adverturous as inviting him away from the crowd to have a few moments of one of one smooch time. Just make sure not to give to much, and to make sure not to take it to much farther than that. The idea is to be a bit forward with your flirtatious, not to say that you are so desperate you can’t wait to get to know them better.
You’ll have to test the waters, and go with how you feel at the moment. Being forward can be the ultimate attraction when you use it with confidence and boundries. You are flirting, not conceiding.
4. Let Them Chase You
This may seem silly with all the recent changes in relationships over the past years, but it is a tride and true fact of relationships. The man has to chase the woman. Yes, there are times when you will chase him back, and if he is rather feminine, it might happen more often than not.
In the beginnings of a loving relationship though, the man should be the one to chase you. Don’t call him, make him call you first. When he does call, don’t answer the first time. Let it ring, even though you really want to answer it. Then, you can either wait 10 minutes and call him back, or wait till he calls again. It’s important to maintain that you are not desperate, and have a life. Even if you have been waiting on baited breath for him to call you all day.
When he first asked you out, turn him down. Don’t be rude, or pretend like you have to wash you hair. Tell them you have to work, or have to babysit. Something harmless and important, and something that convey’s you might be open to other possible dates. When they ask for the second one, don’t just say yes. Give it a thought, maybe a little hesitation, and then let them know you’re willing to give it a shot. Keep it cute, to let him know you’re on his level, but don’t give away that you are doing anything on purpose.
When he calls to take you out, let him drive, or ask him to drive. Men are strange in that they feel in the lead when they get to drive you around. Then after they get used to that, find a new place that they have never been to, and ask them to follow you in your car. Don’t ride with him. Then he really will have to chase you to get where you’re taking him!
Just remember to have him chase you. Don’t answer you’re phone for a day, or ignore the texts. Leave him wondering what you are doing when you are not talking to him, or with him. Keep the mystery and let him chase you to find out more. That’s a real key to Classy Flirtations.
5. Confident is Sexy
That’s right. It’s not low cut skirts, big boobs or tattooed on eye brows. It’s CONFIDENCE. It’s the sexiest thing next to a cheeseburger and an ice cold beer. You can’t beat it for anything.
It doesn’t matter how you dress, what you say or how many tricks you try,. The only real matter of importance is that you are confident in everything you do. Even if you fall on your face, be confident about it! ;)
Confidence creates a light in a woman so bright that entire rooms have been decimated by the resiliance of the light shinning from her. If you can learn to harness your own confidence, you can too can carry all the keys needed to be a Classy Flirt and great future girlfriend or wife.
*Hold your chin up and don’t stare at your shoes. When someone looks at you, look back. Maybe nod, wave or smile at them in return. Don’t walk to fast or swing your arms around, and don’t persistantly play inside your purse. Don’t worry about what your hair or make up looks like, and stop worry about what everyone else is doing. Just worry about where you’re going to sit, and what you’re going to order to drink.
Remember that you look fine in anything you wear, and that man or no man, you are still a Confident Woman.
It also helps not to go out alone, as that can be sort of awkward for someone who is not used to the singles scene. Have a couple of girlfriends go with you, or maybe your best friend and her date. That way you have a few pals to pay attention to when you start wondering if anyone will come over and talk to you. The more interested you seem in your own world, the more interested a potential flirt will be in coming over to see what you’re all about.
If it’s quiet for a while and you start to look around, look for a confident man. He doesn’t have to be the hottest, richest or most flirtations man in the room. You’re not looking for Fabio are you really? If not, the key is to find someone else who is confident and relaxed, and then to go try and be confident and relaxed with them.
6. Don’t Doubt
This is a hard one, especially if you are just about to go and flirt with a new guy. You don’t know anything about him, and he doesn’t know anything about you. If he is at your work, school or in a local watering whole that you frequent, that can make things easier and offer some easy ice breakers. If he is completely new to you, or the scene is a new place, it can be more difficult to remain confident.
It is about remembering not to doubt yourself. You don’t have to know the best line, the funniest joke or the perfect ice breaker. Just go up and say "Hi…"
