The iPhone and iPod Touch are marvelous pieces of technology. The iPhone combines a GPS, a personal organizer, calendar, MP3 player, video player and games console. It is also a phone, or so I have heard. And that’s just the base functionality. There are thousands of other things you can do with an iPhone, thanks to the App Store. Some of them are useful, like the Yellow Pages App or iTranslate. Those apps are not what this article is about. This article is about the apps in the App Store that serve absolutely no purpose, but are still really cool.
Zippo Lighter - This is the app on this list that is closest to having an actual purpose. The app is a graphical representation of a Zippo Lighter. One can either flick one’s wrist or flick with a finger to open the lighter and flick again with a finger to light it. This qualifies as completely pointless because there is no actual flame and you cannot actually light anything with it. There is almost a point to this app, however, and that would be if you went to a concert and the band played a power ballad. You want to hold up a lighter, but don’t smoke. That’s where the iPhone Zippo comes in.
iSteam - You know when you get out of the shower and the mirror is all foggy? You know how you can then write on that mirror? Did you ever want to do that on your iPhone? Me neither, but there is an app for that anyway. Draw on the steamy screen with your fingers and blow into the mic to fog it up again.
Heat Pad - How can one describe Heat Pad? You touch the screen and it registers your ‘heat’ by changing the colour of the screen where you touch it. There are different effects one can apply to the screen to change the colours. Again, it is absolutely pointless and serves no function whatsoever, but it is kind of cool. It appeals to the ‘ohh, pretty colours’ part of the brain.
Fluid - Fluid is almost meditative and relaxing in it’s pointlessness. It turns the surface of the iPhone into a pool of water that reacts when you touch it. You can create ripples and waves that bounce off the edges of the screen.
I <heart> Fireworks Lite - One of several firework apps for the iPhone, this is one of the better free ones I have found. Different firework effects can be attained by varying the amount of time you hold down your finger. Other than that, wherever you tap the screen, a firework goes off there. Of course, the simulation pales in comparison to the real thing, but if you really like fireworks, this app is kind of cool.
SpawnLite - My favourite pointless app and the best ‘ohh look, pretty colours’ app that I have found. Randomly swirling lines fill the screen with different, changing colours. You can affect the lines by touching the screen, make them explode in different directions by double tapping, or just let them do their own, random thing. It is oddly mesmerizing.
More Toast! - The ultimate in pointless apps. More Toast is the only full featured toaster application for the iPhone. Or, at least, I hope it is: who in their right mind needs a toaster on their cellphone? It can toast bread, waffles, english muffins and bagels and then top them with syrup, nutella, jam, fruit, even bacon and eggs. But even with all these features, it’s still a toaster on your cellphone. You can’t eat it because it’s not real bread. It doesn’t matter how high resolution your simulated egg is, it is still a simulated egg.
In case you were wondering, I actually have kept all of these apps on my iPhone. Like it says in the title, they are completely pointless, but they are pretty cool.
