Each person that has the opportunity to walk upon this earth is on a very individualized journey. There are many obstacles to overcome as we move through our lives. We face many experiences. Many of us face similar experiences. Yet, if you discuss these similar experiences with different people, you might hear an entirely different synopsis of the identical experience.
Walking on this earth as an observer gives us a rare opportunity. We can just simply move through our lives, which is no more than moving from one event to another in concealment, and observe. What is it we are actually observing? For myself, being a counselor, educator, and minister, I observe the way individuals react to their life experiences. It is an amazing opportunity to notice how life is evaluated by one’s personal perceptions. To explain this more thoroughly, I will cite some examples.
I was fortunate to meet a family who was hurt tremendously from the financial crisis. They lived in Arizona and when construction ceased so did their income. Most of what they owned was sold as they had a very limited amount of space. A family member found them a small apartment and furnished it for them. Without a job, money, or any seemingly stable factor in their lives, they moved to Louisville, Kentucky to begin a new life. When I met them, I was shocked. They were happy and grateful. Their daughter was thrilled with her small room. The small four room apartment was perfect for them and they were so grateful to have a roof over their heads.
Quite frankly, I wondered. How could this be? Nothing was right in their lives and they were peaceful, grateful and content. Somehow, I knew they had something very special. When I began to talk to them, I realized that they had such a strong faith in God and just knew all of it would be just fine. There was a point where it looked like they might not be able to pay their rent or their car payment. Yet they were peaceful, content and grateful.
Eventually John got a job and they were able to begin to recover. They live a simple life, complain about nothing and enjoy every moment. John works two jobs and always has a smile on his face. He is so grateful to have a job! These amazing people continue to share and give and live in gratitude. No matter how difficult the road has been for them, they continue knowing their strong faith and love of God will carry them on. They never questioned why they have had so many difficulties and never blamed their problems on another. They never asked the question, "Why me?"
Now, let me present a contrast to this situation. Ellen is a woman in her late sixties. She had a very bad marriage and divorced when she was in her forties. About twenty years ago she married Bruce. In her first marriage money was an issue. There was never quite enough. However, Ellen always figured out how to get what she wanted for herself. Layaway was a common tool for Ellen!
When she married Bruce, things improved greatly. He was a pharmacist and made a nice living. They lived in a lovely home. She bought expensive jewelry and lived a great life. Bruce did all the cooking and grocery shopping. He took care of all her needs, put gas in her car, and basically did anything she requested. Her days consisted of going to lunch, bowling, and visiting with friends.
Yet, Ellen was miserable. She was constantly buying new things for her house. Trading in her cars became a hobby. She was obsessed with her weight and her looks. Everything was evaluated by who did what for her. She was angry at everyone. There were many things she could not remember, however, she could remember every injustice that was ever done to her, real or imaginary.
Because of her attachment to grudges, she fought with everyone. If there was ever an opportunity to make peace, she chose the war. She had many altracations with family members and friends. When a friend bought a new home, she wanted to move. As she was packing for a European vacation, she shared how her friend had been on twenty European vacations and she was just going on her first one. She consistently told her husband that he did not make enough money. Her life was miserable. And, she caused everyone around her to feel miserable also.
Physically, she was healthy for her age. However, there was always something bothering her. It seemed to be so important for her to be the center of attention, that even talking about what hurts was better than no attention. No matter what she acquired, she never felt any better. Her only goal in life was to have more and to do more. And, all of it was for her. The only hope for Ellen is that one day she will discover the true meaning of her life.
Through my studies I have come to the realization that our only true free will is how we choose to see the events that occur in our lives. All of us go through birth, youth, adulthood and death. This is the contract we made when we arrived here on earth. How we spend the moments we have between arrival and departure depend on us.
If the choice is to live a life keeping score of everything I have versus everything you have, everything you did for me versus everything I did for you, when it is time to depart, you will have lived a very unfulfilled life. However, if your choice is to live a life filled with gratitude and concentrate on what you can do to make the world a better place for all humanity, you will live a fulfilling life.
Is it material pleasures that make the difference? Apparently not. If we look at those who have been blessed with all the riches their hearts desire, we should see people who are living fulfilled lives. Instead, what do we see? We see people on drugs, legal or illegal, seeking all types of pleasures to soothe the agony that lives within them. Then we see the families who have so little and are so grateful for every tiny pleasure they have. What is the difference?
Perhaps humanity needs to spend more time connecting with that which is within. It is the internal pleasure that is lasting. The meaning of our lives is the thing that we must each discover for ourselves. Why am I here? What do I owe humanity? If I spend all my time on earth trying to entertain myself and use others to please me, I suffer. I not only suffer mentally, but physically also.
Living a life that is totally centered on me is hazardous to my health. Sharing my life with others is a gift that keeps on giving. It begins inside and spreads its light through all humanity. Sharing the light is the key to fulfillment. That is the true wealth.
