It certainly isn’t funny that some of us are losing our jobs these days. What I do find oddly amusing is the office politics that enter into the picture before during and after. Isn’t it funny how when you lose your job whether it be by termination, transfer or simply leaving - you – the person who leaves – will be “he or she who’s name shall remain unspoken”? Some of the people who remain in that work place would like it to be as if you died or fell off the face of the earth.
I have found myself doing my own studies in this “leaving the job” and have been examining each of these 3 scenarios mentioned above and would like to share my thoughts on a forum and so here I go. Termination is one of the biggest one right now so we can start there.
Let’s say you are terminated. That is a huge word that means you are fired by a Terminator, a person who breaks the bad news that you are no longer needed, drops the big hammer, fires, and in true fact, terminates people. (Yes, yes. Just like in the movie.) It is those people who are the terminate”ees” that don’t’ get it so easy or pleasant. Let’s face it, at this point their main job is to be fired and that can be worrisome and uncomfortable for anyone facing that prospect. These brave people, they are the ones who are or will be terminated from their job(s). Sometimes they are terminated from their cars, kids, spouses, certainly paychecks and basic funds coming in are terminated and then as well, these days you are terminated from e-mail, cell phone usage, the outside world, company credit cards and your messaging services of many kinds.
Oh the dastardliness of it all! They can then, terminate you from your home, your indoor plumbing, all forms of heat and electricity and food because of the initial termination of the job in the first place. They attempt to terminate you from yourself respect. It is all tied together. I think there is a big chart somewhere to be followed that we worker bees are not privy to.
The big thing here is surviving the whole process and coming out on the other end more prepared for the future. It does lend one to the question: Is being a Terminator that much fun? Being on the receiving end usually stings a lot. That Terminators seem to enjoy this terminating process is all too evident when the termination is happening. Even the best workers may get singled out for termination. No one is immune from termination. There may be a downward spiraling aftermath produced that one cannot avoid. Fight those feels at every turn and read on please.
So if one must be terminated and not get to continue and be “movin’ on up” in a corporation – this means one has simply lost the opportunity at that work place. Once terminated, you will work again, but the Terminator would like you to believe you will not. You have been singled out as an UNdesirable and seemingly ostracized like a leper before the whole process even begins. Isn’t that enough “punishment”? Like Carly Simon says: Anticipation? The anticipation of something so unpleasant coming your way can be maddening. When there is a bull’s eye on your backside, most of the time it is with a sharpie marker, and they don’t come off for anything! And you can’t see that bull’s eye unless someone tells you and you go to a mirror. Unfortunately, Terminators will never be quite that honest with you and no one is going to tell you that you are going to be terminated, lest they, your friends and co-workers, be put on the chopping block too. “Punishment and/or the anticipation of being punished or terminated” is a box of chocolates.
Ya neva know what you’re gonna get.
I say “punishment” as such, because by the time some folks reach their point of termination they are so mentally abused and so crazy happy it is finally over they are skipping out the door! This is the employee who has held on for all it is worth and has been so overworked, disappointed and put upon by their jobs that they are delirious in a way that the agony/ecstasy combo of the final termination is just too overwhelming. They leave smiling like a drunken sailor or drooling and laughing hysterically on the way out the door. The Terminators are sometimes very mad about this because this means they have not manifested the appropriate amount of pressure to actually hurt the person who is leaving. Mental insanity is simply a vacation for the person who is now out of a job and that is not what the Terminator wanted at all.
This is a disciplinary process, not a vacation dang-it!
So what can a poor Terminator do when the prey isn’t providing the thrill of the chase the Terminator desires? What to do? What to do?
Got it!
Now to attack the heart, soul and what is left of the mental capacity so to further manipulate the prey to dance. The person who has been terminated is now cut off. From everything and everyone. If we were Borg – this would be the end of us.
Terminate”ees” and “possible terninate”ees” are not welcome to have contact with the company which is usually fine by the person(s) leaving. What the Terminators really mean is,,, you are no longer welcome to use your email, don’t call their phones, don’t expect a call back if you use your cell phone to call into the office and if you do get a call through? Do not anticipate an answer. And, by cracky do not expect a kind word if we are to contact you, but again, and I cannot stress this enough, do not contact us. Do not contact the friends you have made there for any support. If we decide to end the “anticipation” and actually terminate you, we will make sure to call you on the above mentioned cell phone or via messaging system. We will call you into the office where the Terminator can appropriately and roughly manhandle the last dirty deed. Indeed, done dirt cheap.
Terminators appreciate your coming into the office for the termination because you providing them with what can only be compared to a sexual jolt from terminating. You, however, are blindsided and numb. Whatever you did or did not do will never matter at this juncture. All forms of vindication are mysteriously unavailable to you as well. For the most part the big answer is because you didn’t become what they wanted you to become. Maybe you were content to just be yourself and come in and do your j-o-b every day. This usually threatens a Terminator – they are seemingly never comfortable if you are ok being yourself. Assimilate or Terminate.
We are known as a conformist society here in the good ol’ US of A and while we are not exactly Borg and assimilating, as much as we are copying what we like in our own way, we do just love to be a part of a group! A part of a whole that is connected and accepted. This definitely overflows into our work place. The world being so fully electronic in operation in this day and age and the closeness we can all achieve via those beautiful phone lines which allow us to communicate in a split second can also hurt us when it is taken away. Just as if an arrow was aimed, it does hurt the intended prey. Bull’s Eye.
For some terminate”ees” it is like taking away their life line and can result in much larger portion of mental agony by being cut off. This creates a vacuum for the person who must leave, a bit of mental anxiety and much unfinished business. This seemingly pleases the Terminator to no end.
And thus begins the cycle of abuse even outside the workplace, even after the termination. Much mental upset and many unanswered quetions. All while the person is wondering how they will ever get through it. Can you see the beautiful life giving process? It can be if you realize that, outside and away from the bad environment, you can create another even more successful professional world for yourself, thus becoming a beautiful life giving process for you!
It is not easy. I have lost jobs, Even once, a friend and I thought we had some sort of legal leg to stand on (oh silly us!) and even consulted with a lawyer. $1800+ later we were told maybe we should seek counseling. That was one expensive piece of advice that was not taken. Eventually, the lawyer thought we were just crazy to be so negatively affected by being terminated. It is not crazy for anyone to think they have been abused and seek help for those feelings. The abuse part can occur every day while no help may ever arrive. When you feel you have a legitimate complaint or legal concern consult a lawyer but understand too that it is a business and that is how some make money and they may tell you there is nothing you can do because you live in an “Employ at Will “state and the companies can do what they want so you’re in need of counseling and here is your bill.
Speaking from experience, I implore you not listen if people tell you things which only hinder your progress towards a better future for you. They are not you. Only you are you. I know, some days you just don’t even feel like yourself, especially after a termination. I challenge you to ask yourself “Ok…if I am not me? Then who am I?” This is what I have been forced to ask myself so I am going to search it out. I am hoping for a very cool answer.
If one can make it through the mire that is leaving a job through termination you will indeed be stronger and wiser. Attempt to realize that you are leaving or have been asked to leave for a reason. Please realize that, they, the corporation, will have their feelings and you will have your own. I ask you to focus only on what that reason was for YOU? This makes it is possible to wade through and find a new path to a better work environment. Leave behind the feelings of inadequacy Terminators attempt to instill in you when you leave. They would love it if they knew you were still thinking about them and that it still bothered you. Why not bother them and go forward – never back.
To better help you realize that thinking about your ex-work place is just a bad idea, try this little exercise.
Close your eyes and relax. Really relax yourself and think of something pleasing. Pay special attention to the good feeling this brings.
Bring in some more good thoughts. Revel in those good feelings! Revel in them until you feel yourself smiling. Now that you are smiling, immediately put yourself back in that ex-working environment. See yourself there and remember yourself trying so hard to do well and how you felt when you didn’t receive the positive feedback or instruction you were going for. Think of all the good you hoped to achieve and it was poo-poo’d (sorry – technical term…) and thrown aside without so much as a nod for trying. Whatever it is or was, think of how many times it happened. The disappointment of untruths spoken and praises given to others that maybe should have been yours. Keep your eyes closed. By now you are not smiling. Now, think of that moment that made you think of a change in the first place. Whether it came from you or the work place makes no difference. More frowns and frustration are showing up on your face if anyone is watching they will think you are in true pain.
I can’t take it anymore. Open your eyes! Please! I want you to shake it off and realize that this is exactly the way some jobs want you to feel even if you are not there!
When you are gone from that bad workplace and find you raking yourself over hot coals, questioning yourself “Why? Why? Why? I shoulda. I coulda. I woulda. WHY?
Close your eyes, do the exercise and experience those negative feelings again.
They will not be hard to reproduce. When you try to put yourself back in a bad place mentally and these reactions occur, you must realize how much more glad you are, when you open your eyes and are not still there! Halleluiah! Holy Cow! Progress!
All the Terminator realizes is now is that they feel fulfilled and it is at your expense.
You didn’t assimilate so they got to terminate. The Terminators know there will be more and will bide their time. They must find another target or a project to keep them busy and under the radar until it is time to oil up and slide back into kill mode. This bad economy is only fuel for their fire and gas doused on regular working folks. It is good for the Terminator, the company and terrible for the employee.
Attempt to not rehash any of it. Don’t think about it for a second. It is only torture for you. It is like reliving the moment and getting terminated over and over again. So please, don’t do that to yourself, enough damage has been done. Some of possibly deserved and most of it probably not.
You now have bigger fish to fry and a life to go on leading and I am encouraging you to do it. I believe all you will ever have to do is shut your eyes again and think about being back in that work place and remember those terrible frustrated feeling. Progress can be made if you will allow it. So we will trudge on.
Thanks so much for reading. Next time we will move onto “Transfers”!
APBeilach 2/17/2009
