With all the hype of bridal blogs, magazines, and, of course, TV shows featuring over-the-top weddings that almost require a ringmaster instead of a DJ, it might be easy to forget that the wedding ceremony is a gathering to mark one of life’s major milestones, and to share it with the couple’s closest friends and family; the ceremony becomes something to be dispensed with quickly, in order to to get on with what everybody is really waiting for–the party.
Still, there remain some couples who prefer the sweet, old-fashioned traditions of a ceremony that keeps the focus on the couple and their official union–for which, as the officiant will say, “we are gathered here today.” They still want bridesmaids and beauty, tuxedos and flowers, pointing up the happy importance of the occasion. And printed programs are still a nice way of identifying people in the wedding party, and as a keepsake of the day. But for these couples, the ceremony, and not the reception, is the focal point of the wedding, and they want to keep it that way.
This may be because their religious denomination frowns on ostentatious displays. It may be because they don’t want–or frankly can’t afford–to spend thousands of dollars for one night’s entertainment. It may just flat-out not be their style. A generation ago, it was assumed that most receptions would be cake-and-punch only. (Often with a private party later at someone’s home, which can certainly still be the case today.)
Whatever the reason, this well-grounded couple will dispense with most of the “extras” by simply adding the word “Cake” before “Reception to Follow” on their invitations–making it clear that there will be wedding cake but no meal served following their ceremony: Cake Reception to Follow.
Generally a Cake Reception will take place in the same location as the ceremony–such as in a church hall or dining area; or in a rented facility. The ideal time of day for this type of reception is mid-afternoon–perhaps 2:00 to 4:00 p.m.–a time when people would not ordinarily expect to be served a meal.
The touches of beauty that surround the wedding ceremony itself–most commonly floral arrangements, perhaps candles and/or tulle draping, will simply be moved unobtrusively by fond friends and relatives, from the ceremony area to enhance the reception space. If this is in a church or rented hall, the tables, chairs and table linens may be provided at no additional cost–and, of course, will need to be set up ahead of time. If they are not provided, it might not be unreasonable in price to rent them, since for eating cake, not everyone will require seating at a table, and only a few tables with chairs need be provided–with perhaps additional chairs lining one wall so that all who wish to sit, may. Light romantic or classical music should not be difficult to set up, and floats a layer of cultivated festivity on the atmosphere.
A beautifully-decorated table presenting the wedding cake (with a side table for napkins, forks, and cut pieces), a coffee-service table, and a table with a pretty punch-bowl offering a refreshing punch in an appealing color, will suffice–although it’s a hospitable addition to place a few pretty serving dishes around, offering mixed nuts and pastel mints. If you have a huge number of guests, instead of bumping up the size of the wedding cake, consider purchasing Costco-sized sheet cakes iced plain or with small rosebuds, to be cut in the kitchen and brought out to the cake table as the size of the wedding cake diminishes. Paper napkins are perfectly adequate, and the choice of paper or china plates for the cake is up to the bride. There is a huge variety of beautiful paperware wedding designs available in the marketplace today. Caution: even if using paper drink cups at the punch bowl, it’s best to use china cups for the coffee–not all paper cups will withstand high temperatures.
Note: if you have chosen not to see each other before the ceremony, so that photos will be taken of you together after the ceremony, DO arrange to get all the shots with each of you and your families and attendants (separately) BEFORE the ceremony, and keep in mind that there is nothing for your guests to do while awaiting your entry to the reception, because you will not yet have cut the cake. Therefore, be very specific with your photographer about only photos with both sets of parents and then both side of the wedding party being taken after the guests leave the ceremony area (parents and wedding party first, so they can go mingle), and finally just shots of the bride and groom together. More than half an hour for this is unreasonable for the guests; containing it to twenty minutes is ideal. If you are asking your guests to wait during this time, you might augment your food offerings with some trays of cheese and crackers.
If the bride and groom will share a champagne toast together, and/or if others will be offering toasts to the couple, a single round of champagne may be served at that time–or the couple may share champagne while the guests toast with punch (which may or may not have alcohol)–or perhaps the couple will be just as happy to toast with the punch, but in champagne flutes for the sake of the camera. The flower girl can circulate among the guests with her basket now filled with wedding favors, which can be as simple or elaborate as you choose–or these may be placed in a basket or on a tray near the guest book.
A Cake Reception may or may not begin with a receiving line to greet the guests (if they have had to wait during a photo session, however, a receiving line on top of that is likely to make your wedding be remembered as a pretty dry event). The Cake Reception provides all of the classic photo-opportunities such as cutting the cake and sharing a toast; and the photographer should make every effort to capture candid photos of as many guests as possible (provide the photographer with a list of those "not to be missed," and assign a relative to identify them).
Because it doesn’t take that long to have cake and coffee, the Cake Reception is a relatively short affair, and because of the limited time, you will not end up with an unmanageably huge portfolio of wedding photos; on the other hand, the photographer should bear this in mind and charge a reduced rate accordingly. The couple may or may not share a First Dance, but since dancing for the guests is not part of this program, it makes guests feel like outsiders to continue standing around to watch Father-Daughter and Mother-Son Dances. At a Cake Reception, the bride usually retains her garter, and tosses her bouquet before leaving the building, or on the way to the “escape” vehicle.
BUMPING IT UP A NOTCH: If you like the idea of the simplicity (and lower cost) of a “Cake Reception” wedding but would like to bump up the level of sophistication and memorability, consider presenting a Viennese Table instead of wedding cake alone.
For a Viennese Table, you would order a much smaller wedding cake–perhaps just one 12” tier with a 6” tier on top to save for your first anniversary, but beautifully decorated. It would sit in a prominent spot on the table, which should be covered with a lavish cloth–think lace, satin, rich damask. The remainder of the table is then laden with a lovely and mouth-watering assortment of desserts on the fanciest of serving dishes: perhaps a chocolate fountain with strawberries, marshmallows and pretzels to dip; trays and tall, multi-tiered serving dishes of items such as miniature creampuffs or eclairs, pastries, Napoleons (request that the bakery slice them uniformly in half-portions), baklava, miniature cupcakes, a fancy cookie plate, small cake brownies dusted with powdered sugar; perhaps a fancy cake plate offering a pre-cut cheesecake; and individual clear-plastic cups of chocolate mousse. This list is by no means a requirement, merely suggestions to give an idea of a lavish presentation of a generous variety of dessert choices–add or subtract desserts that strike your fancy and can be elegantly presented.
If you choose to present a Viennese Table, it’s easy to also “bump up” your coffee service as well, by simply adding a few bottles of flavored coffee syrups (vanilla, almond, hazelnut and chocolate are the most popular) to the table, with several cans of whipped topping (perhaps on ice in a large, pretty salad bowl) for guests to make their coffee more special.
With wedding-cake only or a Viennese Table, a Cake Reception wedding is, put simply, a celebration of your wedding rather than a party. If you want to include and treat everyone while keeping the costs down and the focus firmly on the occasion of your marriage, this could be the right choice for you.
