Online dating is one of the most popular dating venues out there today. Being relatively new and somewhat mysterious many people tend to either fear or idealize the online world. Main reasons for this fear is not being able to touch, see and measure what is really true online. It is easy for people to be misleading and stretch the truth online. Once you have conquered the initial contact and both parties are willing to strike up a conversation the next hurdle is how to court someone you have not met, can not see (usually) and know nothing about. The physical world of dating is removed during these beginning stages online. Let’s face it, physical attraction is a big part of dating. A majority of communication is done through body language. This makes this initial online courting period a bit difficult. Through my experiences with online dating I have identified four tips that can be helpful when courting online.
Keep the mystery. One of the biggest mistakes guys make is divulging too much information too fast. If you are initiating conversation with someone typically they want an overview of you and what you are like to see if it’s worth investing the time to meet you and see if there is a physical connection. The most common questions asked are, “what do you like to do for fun” and “what are you looking for”. One of the biggest mistakes guys make is saying they are looking for a long-term relationship with someone who isn’t crazy. Try not to identify negative characteristics of previous dates, as this often will reflect negatively on you. Going into details about what you are looking for in a relationship can be a good thing if you are willing to go through with it. For instance, don’t say you are looking for a long term relationship and then go into how you have dart league on Mondays, pool league on Tuesdays, bowling league on Wednesdays and go out with the guys every weekend. Obviously something will have to give for you to be in a serious relationship and putting the burden on someone else for you to make that change is unfair.
Don’t allow for lulls in conversation. Instant online dating death can be achieved by conversation lulls. Have a list prepared with some questions for your potential date. This is especially effective if you are not very good at holding a conversation. People love to talk about themselves. By asking questions you can take the pressure off of you and let your potential date open up and feel at ease talking. Do not pry however, especially if there are touchy subjects. This is where a list comes in handy. Many times you are chatting online via messenger or over the phone. Remember, the other person has no clue you have a list of questions to ask them to keep the conversation rolling.
Do not pressure them to take the next step. Pushing someone to talk on the phone or meet in person before they are ready can be detrimental. A gentle suggestion to do so when you are ready can be a great way to initiate this conversation. Giving her your phone number is also a way to show that you are interested in taking the next step. Don’t pressure for her number let it happen. If you give a person the wrong vibe before meeting you will kill the attraction before it has a chance to start. The goal in this initial stage is to keep this person interested and intrigued enough to eventually meet and see if the physical attraction is there.
