Punjabis believe in doing everything larger than life and a special occasion like marriage is celebrated like a big carnival, exhibiting splendid glamour. Like, all other communities in India, Punjabis have their own series of rituals and ceremonies to perform.
Punjabi matrimony involves the usual girl made to meet the boy or vice versa. Like all other Indian matrimonial services, they prefer getting their children married in the same religion or caste.
The girl and the boy are made to meet each other in the usual arrange marriage kind of manner. After their mutual consent, the first ceremony is Roka or Thaka, where the girls father accompanied with some relatives and friends visit the young mans house along with some sweets and presents. Then a formal engagement ceremony mangani is organized when the boys family returns the visit and in the presence of friends and relatives the intended marriage is announced. Basically, the origin of this ceremony lies in the arranged marriage norm where the parents would let out the world that they are looking for a suitable match for their son or daughter.
Though traditionally, this ceremony is performed with Ardas, a prayer, these days it is celebrated with songs, dance and merriment.
After getting engaged, both the girl and the boy enjoy their courtship, the period when they get to know more about each other. And then, the preparations for the grand Punjabi wedding begin.
Wedding begins with Akhand Path, which ends with a ceremony called Sagan. It is performed a day before the wedding, when the girls family along with their relatives and friends visits the would- be son-in laws house with wedding gifts, sweets and sagan.
Then in the evening, the most awaited Mehndi ki raat is celebrated. Popularly know as Ladies Sangeet, it is one of the most exciting rituals in Punjabi marriages. The soon-to-be bride and groom apply mehndi or henna on their hands. All other family members and relatives sing and dance to folk Punjabi songs. These days, the focus has shifted to DJ system, which has become a rage in all Indian marriages.
Similarly the groom’s relatives also apply batna, more as a jest than a serious ceremony.
Then the grand wedding day arrives, which begins with Chuda Ghara Ghardoli:
During the Chuda ceremony, the oldest maternal uncle and aunt have the most active role to perform. People touch the chuda and give their wishes to the girl for her married life. Then they sprinkle flower petals on the to-be bride. After that, the girls uncle, aunt, friends and cousins tie kaliras (silver, gold or gold plated traditional ornaments) to a bangle worn by the girl.
Thereafter, the bride and groom wear their wedding attire. As per the tradition, their wedding dress is presented to them by their respective maternal uncles.
The bride’s family waits at the entrance to greet the baarat (the groom and his family), who reach singing and dancing. The father, brother, uncles and grandfathers of the groom embrace the corresponding members of the bride’s family.
In the Hindu - Punjabi marriage, bride and bridegroom along with their parents will sit around the sacred fire while pandits chant the marriage mantras. They are deemed to be married after they have walked around the sacred fire lawan phere. The scenario is different in Sikh marriages. The Sikh couple will sit before the holy book, the Guru Granth Sahib, while prayers are said and they will walk around the Guru Granth Sahib, while grnathi chants the extracts from the granth sahib. After that, finally when they are announced as the man and wife, prasad, a buttery, a scrumptious wheat-flour based sweet, is distributed to all present and signals the completion of the ceremony.
As Punjabis love eating, both Sikh and Hindu weddings are marked by more feasting. The concluding item is doli, literally "palanquin", when the bride is given an emotional farewell by her family and friends. Then comes the exciting part as more ceremonies await the bride at her husbands home but the main extravaganza is over. Interestingly, even now some brides sit in a doli, which takes her to the getaway car, where the groom and a few members of his family are waiting to escort her home. She gets in, and zooms off to her new home - and new life.
But in the end, both Hindu and Sikhs believe that marriage is the most beautiful union and should be celebrated with all the zest and enthusiasm.
