Things to Ponder

by Robert Morgan, Staff Writer


	Please read down-there is a lot of spacing between questions-write your own factoid based on my topics or just respond by comments to the ones you like.
	Anyone else feel scammed by Sea Monkeys? They were promoted in comics as a new lifeform.?


	Other than yourself, what famous person in history would you like to have been and why?
	Why can we show murders, war footage, and graphic medical procedures on tv and not show Janet Jackson’s breast?
	In a battle to the death with the AFLAC duck versus the Geico gecko, who would you root for and why?

	Didn’t you want to see Elmer Fudd kill Bugs Bunny just once?



	If you are what you eat, why don’ vegans eat other vegans?



	If you got your girlfriend pregnant and had a time travel machine could you go back and unscrew her?






	If men can go shirtless, why can’t women?


	If you lick your privates, won’t other ranking soldiers be jealous?




	What’s the best way to tell if someone’s a witch?
	What’s the worst movie made that you would remake and why?
	What one superpower that only lasted 30 seconds at time with a lengthy rest period in-between would you choose?


	If you have sex with your clone, is that masturbation?

	What’s this stuff in my nose-it wasn’t there yesterday-who put it there? In Skin & Body - Asked by The Riddler - 8 answers - 3 years ago - Resolved

	Would or have you been in an adult film, esp. one intended for the masses? In Other - Society & Culture - Asked by The Riddler - 3 answers - 3 years ago - Resolved
	If you were a lemming, what would you try to get the group to do? In Philosophy - Asked by The Riddler - 6 answers - 3 years ago - Resolved
	Anyone ever slept w/ their teacher in grade school or college? details? In Other - Society & Culture - Asked by The Riddler - 0 answers - 3 years ago - (Question has been removed)
	Who’s a better forrest gump-tom hanks or george w. bush? In Other - Entertainment - Asked by The Riddler - 6 answers - 3 years ago - Resolved
	What cartoon character would you most like to shag? In Other - Entertainment - Asked by The Riddler - 5 answers - 3 years ago - Resolved
	Would you or have you made love in a cemetery? details please.? In Singles & Dating - Asked by The Riddler - 3 answers - 3 years ago - Resolved
	What foul phrase would you teach your parrot? In Philosophy - Asked by The Riddler - 10 answers - 3 years ago - Resolved
	Other than human, if forced to, which animal would you have sex`with? In Other - Pets - Asked by The Riddler - 0 answers - 3 years ago - (Question has been removed)
	Do you wear underwear? In Words & Wordplay - Asked by The Riddler - 25 answers - 3 years ago - Resolved
	Where did you hide the body?
	Would you rather be known worldwide as a whore or a thief?


	What’s the difference between prostitution and marriage?


	What 1`question would you ask of each of the following? Santa, Easter Bunny, Lucky Charms leprechaun, Clinton?



	Why don’t think have garanimals for adults? I know some people that could use the help matching.?






	Would it be better to have been a lesser-known Beatle or the front man of a band w/ modest success?
	What is the problem with the 5th dentist in all the surveys?
	If you were to be a different organism that had to live in a diff. environment than humans do traditionally,?
	What dinosaur would you like as a pet if possible?
	If you were contacted by the government to kill someone w/no explanation, would you? explain?





	If you could reengineer the human body, what changes would you make-parts added or deleted, shape, size, etc?


	Wouldn’t it be cool to have a butt that lights up like a lightning bug?







	Would you rather live a long life as 1 person of half as long but as 2 different people.?




	What would earth be like if jesus never came?




	If you knew your child was going to be the antichrist, what would you do?











	If n. korea wants nuclear bombs, don’t you think we should let them keep all they can catch?





	If you were to be a criminal, would you rather be part of the sopranos, the corleones, goodfellas, scarface,?

Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee, they say-is this true-how do you really feel about her?

My milk is chunkier than usual-is it new and improved?

If o.j. ever remarries, is a knife set an appropriate gift?

When we will have 1 world government? I’m psyched!!!?

I keep sticking spiders in the microwave so they will become radioactive and bite me giving me spider powers but they just keep exploding. Help?

What’s the best way to destroy pinocchio? We asked him to stop molesting our chestnut tree but he won’t stop!

Whose skull would you most want to eat soup out of?



	Burger king says you can have it your way but makes you wear a shirt and shoes-isn’t this wrong?
	How many hamburgers`will mcdonald’s have sold before the earth is consumed in a supernova? Be precise.?

	If you could live forever but your head had to be attached to a dog’s body, would you?








	If you do really good things 1/2 the time and really evil things the other half, shouldn’t you only spend half of your time in hell?
	Exactly where is the market the little piggy went to? No one ever says.?
	I was baking a gingerbread man and he escaped. Tips on catching him?
	Anyone have any good recipes for cooking smurfs? I usually batter and deep fry them but wanted variety.?
	I accidentally overbaked the pillsbury doughboy. How should I dispose of his body?
	How does the green giant reproduce?

	When serving a dinner party for 8, how many smurfs do i need for smurfburgers? What is a good dessert?



	Wouldn’t it be great if a penis worked like an elephant’s trunk?

	I would love to find a funnel-cake breathing dragon.?
	What is george W. Bush’s drag queen name?


	What business would you like to open on Mars?




	How many gallons of latex house paint would it take to paint a black hole in outer space white?

	By the way, there’s a weird beetle-thingy crawling up your back…

	I found Crackle dead in my cereal and both Snap and Pop deny any wrongdoing and give each other alibis. I don’t know what to do.?

Okay-when I was at the Mos Isley catina, I picked up this space hooker and got some type of Corellian space herpes. Any treatment ideas?

Whenever I’m time traveling, I always seem to set off a chain reaction that brings about the fall of an empire-who should I send apology cards to?

I was playing with my uranium and noticed my hair coming out in large clumps from my second head. What’s up with that?

In a battle of cereal mascots, who would reign supreme?

Which bird would taste better-Toucan Sam or Sonny the Cuckoo Bird?

Should we combine Bill Gates and Oprah into 1 supreme being and what are the pros/cons?

How long until we have an Amish President?

My flesh-eating virus hasn’t been eating lately. Is it sick or dying? What can I do to help him?

Help! I’m trapped inside the internet and can’t get back to 3-dimensional space!?

The squirrel at the park that bit me was foaming at the mouth. Think he’s sick or something?

Which voice is my head is the leader-they sometimes contradict one another.?

When i stick metal objects into an electrical outlet, why do I have weird sensations running through my body?

Which toy tastes better-legos or lincoln logs?

Will you please leggo my Eggo?

	If you travel at the speed of light, will the airline lose your baggage faster?
	If you travel at the speed of light and hit a skillet, will you be a flash in the pan?

	They say cats always land on their feet but when I cut them off, he completely missed. Why?(Yes, I’m kidding)
	When going to hell, what brand fan do you recommend taking?

	When I become master of space, time, and dimension, what should I do first? Must plan these things u know.?
	Stan Lee is the greatest author in all of history creating more famous characters than Shakespeare or anyone-Why isn’t he getting more credit in academic circles?

	What animal/insect/plant not part of standard American diet should be on the menu?

	If it’s raining men, where can I buy a stronger umbrella?

	Why do my hostages complain so much?


	My guardian angel kept following me around and creeping me out. I shot him w/ a sniper rifle. What now?
	I am trying to get my dog to talk-almost have “I love you” down-what books should she read?
	Why are there offical public baths anymore? we have community swimming pools which is basically the same.?
	What is this green stuff growing in this pan? should i serve it to the kids?






	I think the Lunesta moth killed Heath Ledger for using a competitor’s sleep aid. Thoughts?

	My cow isn’t mad, only slightly peeved. What should I do?
	When Oprah becomes dictator of the U.S., who will she execute first?

	Are cyclops sexier with contacts or a monocle?





	Complete the phrase “The grass in always greener on the other side of…” ? the joint?
	Complete the phrase “A Rolling Stone gathers no…”? sobriety?

	Why don’t sex ed classes give instructions & demonstrations like driver’s ed instead of just risks and data?

	I am trying to cross breed lighting bugs and Shih Tzus and make Shih Lights-They’ll be great bathroom pets or night watch dogs.
	If Mary was Quite Contrary, how did she ever get a garden out anyhow? Usually some motivation is required.?
	If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it fall, will the government still bailout the logging company?




	Shouldn’t our candidates duel to the death? Then we’d only get those truly determined!!!?

	Do you find hellspawned cyclopic demons sexy?
	Why are you so funny looking? ;P?






	Which celebrity would you try if you were a cannibal?

About Robert Morgan

Robert Morgan has completed numerous writing, journalism, and theater courses as well as many years of practical experience in these areas.

Comments & Questions

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