When you go out to an elegant restaurant do you feel uncomfortable because you don’t know hot to use good table manners? If you do feel uncomfortable, you are not alone, because as a rule most people don’t know how to use good table manners. They only know what table manners they have used all their lives, but have never taken a crash course in table manners.
How to use good table manners: Examples of poor table manners?
I bet you can think of a few, such as talking with your mouth full, and chewing with your mouth open. No one wants to see the food in your mouth as you are chewing, and we don’t want to feel we need to cover our plates as you blow particles of food out of your mouth as you laugh and talk. Do you slurp when you eat your soup, or belch at the table? Worse yet, do you pass gas at the table? If you answer yes to any of these questions you might want to read on.
How to use good table manners: What should you do at an elegant restaurant?
If you are out on a date and you go to a fancy restaurant, don’t worry so much about what is the right thing to do. Sit down and take a seat. If you are a man and you are taking a woman out, you will most likely not have to seat her. The restaurant staff that shows you to your table will most likely seat your date. Remain standing until your wife / s/o / or date is seated. If you practice good table manners at home, you won’t have to worry about having poor table manners when you go out.
In my opinion it is important to use good table manners at home, especially if you have children. If children are raised using good table manners, they will not have to fret about how they are behaving at the table of a fine restaurant when they start dating. Nothing could be more embarrassing than not having a clue as to how one behaves at the table.
How to use good table manners: Use common sense.
Etiquette is just a matter of using common sense, really. It is not really necessary to remember a lot of rules; what is more important is that you use common sense when you are at the dinner table at home, as a guest in someone else’s home, or at a five star restaurant. Here are several behaviors that are just common sense manners:
* If you are a guest at someone else’s home remain standing until either the host sits or the host instructs you to be seated.
* Follow the lead of your host. Watch your host. When your host places his or her napkin, picks up a fork you do the same. Your host is the person in charge of this day or evening, so it is the polite thing to do to follow his/her lead.
* If you are at a business dinner out at a fine restaurant, your host is paying for the dinner, so follow his/her lead, just as you would as a guest in their home.
* Check out your place setting. You may have more pieces of silverware than you are used to. You will notice that your plate is at the center, and you will see a fork or more than one fork lying on top of a folded napkin, on the left. The drink will be at the right above your plate, and your knife and spoon will be on the right of your plate. The knife will be on the inside next to the plate, and the spoon next to it. If you have more than one fork or spoon the order will go from tallest to shortest. Your bread plate will be to the left side of your plate next to your napkin and forks.
* Once you are seated do not play with your place settings. Take inventory of your place setting so you don’t use someone else’s when it is time to eat, but do not play with your silverware as if you are tapping to make music.
* Sit straight with elbows off the table. We often relax and put our arms and elbows on the table, but we should not do this.
* Never use your napkin to blow your nose with.
* If a lady excuses herself to leave the table it is not necessary for the man to stand up, but it is important to acknowledge her leaving the table. The practice of standing when a lady leaves the table is a really old custom and is out of date now. Depending on how formal your dinner is, you might stand to re-seat the lady when she comes back, but since this is the 21st century she might feel embarrassed if you do.
* Excuse yourself if you need to leave the table. It is not necessary to say where you are going. Just say you will be right back, or you will be back in a moment.
* If you are a guest in someone’s house for dinner, or at a restaurant for a business dinner do not leave the table without asking to be excused.
* Sip hot coffee or tea from the cup. Never pour your tea or coffee into the saucer and slurp it. (My granddad did this. It’s one of the endearing things I remember about him.)
*Use your napkin. Never allow food to remain on the outside of your mouth, or on your chin.
* When in a restaurant keep your voice low enough where it doesn’t carry to other tables. This also holds for when you are speaking to your server. Keep your voice low enough to not draw attention from another table.
* It is okay to eat small pieces of fried chicken, such as a drumstick or wing, with your fingers. Larger pieces, such as the breast or thigh should be cut with a knife and fork and eaten with the fork. (I’ve tried to eat chicken with a fork, and it is most difficult to get the meat off the bone without using your fingers. In fact, I heard it was on the law books here in Georgia that it is deemed not only ill-mannered, but illegal to eat fried chicken with a fork.) Depending on the formality of the occasion, do what they do in Rome. If your host is using his/her fingers you may do the same. If you are on a date, you might ask the restaurant manager in advance of the date what is considered appropriate at their restaurant, if you are not sure.
I’m sure there are other rules to follow when you want to use good manners, but the main thing is to follow the lead of your host. If you don’t have a host to follow, such as dining out with your date, start with the silverware from the outside and work to the silverware on the inside. Use common sense and you will do fine.
Sources:
http://howtobeagentleman.blogspot.com/2007/06/good-manners-in-21st-century.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Table_manners
