This is a very tricky question and I don’t think I am going to be able to give you an easy fix or an answer that will cure you of this problem. I hope I can steer you in the right direction though. I would love to ask you how old you are because believe it or not that might make a big difference in the situation. But I’m not going to do that. I know that in my younger days (I am only twenty one but sometimes fifteen feels like it was decades ago) I had one guy that I met that was absolutely not worth my time. He was much older than myself, he had been to jail, he was actually on house arrest when I met him. But for some reason I was crazy over this guy. He, in turn, led me on so to speak. Looking back on it now I can obviously see that I was not in love with this man. I barely knew the real him at all. But at the time I felt like this guy was it for me. If that is kind of like the situation that you are in, I promise you it will pass. Train yourself not to think about the guy. When your mind does try to wonder in that direction, pull it someplace else, towards a movie you want to see or a cd you’d like to buy. If you keep him off of your mind you will eventually forget all about him.
The main question you need to ask yourself is “Does he feel this way about me?” Does this guy act like he is interested in you? Does he show you attention and/or affection? When you see him does he appear to be glad that you are there? If the answer to all of those questions are no, than you are definitely feeling something that he doesn’t. You can’t make someone like you. That is a painful fact of life. We have all had moments in our lives where we wished that was not the case, but that’s the way of the world. Obsession in itself is never a healthy thing. Obsession over something you may never have is even worse on you.
You have to find a way to see past this guy into the future. It could be that if you had him for your own, you wouldn’t want him anyway. Our minds are tricky. Sometimes they build up fantasies around people that the actual live person could never live up to. If you think of him as a perfect man that would come into your life and make everything better if only he had the chance, you are bound to be disappointed. Even if you did end up with him you would find out that he, like the rest of us, is only human. He would have days where he would be in a mood and you would want to pelt him with something, he would forget to pick up his dirty laundry from the floor, he would belch at the dinner table while your parents looked at him in disgust. In short, he could never be perfect. How much do you know about this guy? Certainly if you look hard enough you can find traits of his that you don’t like.
I guess what I am telling you to do is to think of anything and everything that might turn you off of this situation. It’s not good for you to waste your time on infatuation when you could be out having fun and finding love. This is coming from someone who has been there. If you have to think of only negative things about him to get you through, do it. If you have to list the many ways that this infatuation is hurting other parts of your life, grab a pen and a notebook and get to work. If you can get by with just not letting yourself think of him at all, give that a try. Think of this experience as an emotional flu of sorts. When you have the flu you can’t imagine anything worse and you don’t think it will ever end. But one day you wake up and you feel a little better. A week later you are good as new. Someday you will be able to look back on this and think, “What was I thinking?” It happens to everyone, those moments in life. And if they are meant to pass, they pass. Good luck!
