Many women complain of how men today do not approach them. They say there is little connection even in a room full of people or at a party. Rather than make the effort themselves, the women get frustrated and end up angry or holding a grudge. So what is the answer, then? Why do we still feel that men should do the pursuing when WE have changed all the other rules? Do we not understand how it must feel to a guy to do the asking, and then maybe get rejected? Are women being hypocritical?
If you are over 35, you may not be meeting a potential date due to the stubbornness between both genders. The guys are fed up, and the women are playing the old school rule, "He should ask me out!" Girls, we can’t have it both ways. If we want to be accepted as an equal, we need to understand this. You are NOT considered "easy" if you ask a man out. You probably wouldn’t have to anyway; if you just made the first move with a shy hello as you passed him on the way to the ladies room, he would do the rest. A little encouragement goes a long way.
If you know him from somewhere that you both frequent, it can make the conversation easier when you do pass by him. You could say things like, "where did you get that jacket?" - "Nice tie," - " I love your new goatee," - or just a plain "hello". (Dog parks are great for conversation starters even if you don’t have a dog! Sit at the sushi bar or bar counter in a restaurant. People talk when you are close beside them, it’s almost more uncomfortable not to talk. Go to lounges that have mingle-type environments, so that at least there is a chance to meet someone. (Restaurant seating for the most part, is too closed off to talk to your neighbors.)
When we are under pressure, our bodies send out information about our true feelings. I am an open book and so easily read. I am more animated than the average person & my eyes say it all. I have to watch my actions. Do most of us know we are doing this? People need to be in tune as to what signs they are giving out. First impressions are lasting impressions and you may not have a second chance, so what do you have to lose in talking nicely to someone you are interested in?
If you slink your way through life, keeping a low profile, you are probably suffering from low self esteem. Approaching people for any reason in life is not going to happen unless you are absolutely forced to. This will allow you try to blend into part of the furniture so you don’t have to expend any energy. This allows you to stay in your reclusive world and KEEP complaining that you don’t meet anyone! If you learn how to think well of yourself, people notice you. They admire your strength and confidence.
If you would like to meet someone in a crowed room that you are attracted to, stand tall, and smile! 99% of the time when you practice this, you will get a positive reaction. Just try NOT to smile when someone smiles at you, it is contagious! It can tell you a lot without even speaking to them. Connecting with someone has to have at least one person making the initial move, or you both go home strangers. SHYNESS is something women should try to work on everyday, and not just with dating in mind. It will always give you that excuse for not making something happen in your all areas of your life if you don’t. People don’t always know you are shy and can misinterpret it to mean that you are arrogant, or just not interested in giving them the time of day.
When you are working on your shyness, at least try to look straight ahead rather than down, or away from the person. Have you ever noticed when some people don’t look you in the eyes, you start to feel self-conscious? You are wondering what are they looking at, or what are they thinking. Is there something hanging out my nose? Is there broccoli in my teeth? This causes many reactions. People start tugging on their clothes, hands or hair. They feel exposed to some degree.
Posture reflects how much we like the person we’re with. Think about a date that you had in the past, were you were leaning into each other at a table for two? We always lean it to talk quietly, seductively, or romantically. Business meetings are totally the opposite, bigger table and posture is upright and erect. We all have a comfort zone when someone is talking to us. My zone is usually further away than the average person I speak with, but I am careful not to lean back, if I am interested in that person. That is the first sign that someone is not interested. You can learn to send the right signals to people that you are interested in, even if you are not conscious of your actions. Just watch others and you can see how obvious it becomes when you are looking for the signs.
In other words, watch people that aren’t interested when someone in a group is talking; they are looking around the room. Their keys are probably jingling in their hand in readiness to leave, or they could be rudely texting someone, oblivious to how blatantly rude they are being. Some people just don’t care how they are perceived. They have decided they are bored and move on from the conversation. It can be quite funny sometimes.
It is a great idea for women to always watch the man they are attracted to before making the bold move to say hello; he may not be who you think he is after all. It is one thing to learn how to approach a man, ladies, but be smart about which ones, and where you find them. No matter how bold you think you are, always listen to your inner voice and "Spidey Senses". Never leave with someone in a car, who you just met. Be safe and get all the information possible before you make it into a dating scenario. Get out and start dating, girls, no more complaining. Take charge and have some fun. At the very least you may make some new friends!
