In a dead-end relationship but don’t want to be the one to end it? Feeling the pull of independence but not the nerve to break your “lover’s” heart? What you need is to get dumped and I think I can help.
I’ve been dumped by more than two dozen people in my life and each time I’ve been able to walk away without a pinch of guilt. With my help you too can walk away from your relationship without the slightest feeling of remorse or loss. In fact, you can walk away with your head held high and go straight to the bar, the game or the strip joint without any doubt at all because with my method—YOU DON’T END IT, THEY DO!
It’s hard to believe, but it is true—there is a way out of your relationship gloom that is guaranteed to put all the blame and agony on the heart of your “partner” while you take the happy road to freedom.
My record of rejection is unmatched. In just the past three years I have:
* three times been dumped by people with mental illness
* twice been released by people with criminal records
* four times been let go within weeks of the altar
* five times told to “never come near me again” by people who just the day before told me they wanted to spend their life with me!
I challenge you to find anyone better at what I call ‘the science of deselection.’ Just last month I was let go by a forty-year-old, unemployed woman with a serious emotional disorder and two wacko kids. That’s right, I was dumped by her! I wanted out fast so I employed my most proven method—which I will teach you if you hire me—and sure enough, I was out the door in minutes. And she even swore to change the locks on her apartment just to keep me out! Talk about walking papers—these were signed, sealed and delivered quicker than I could say “table for one, please”. AND I got the sympathy from friends! It was the perfect solution—I got freedom and support, she got a pricey attorney and sleepless nights.
So, if you need to get out of that relationship now but don’t want to be burdened with the guilt of “ruining our future” or “making the mistake of a lifetime,” come talk with me and I’ll work with you to develop a personalized plan to guarantee you won’t ever have to make another excuse about why you have to go home early just because you want to hang out with the guys. My plan will leave you with PLENTY of time for the guys!
My rates are very reasonable:
- $50 for the basic “I’m sorry, I just think we need to spend some time apart.”
- $100 gets you more definite closer: “I’m just not feeling it. I need to break it off.”
- $250 will get you the most immediate expulsion and a permanent guarantee to never have to deal with your “sweetie” again. (Associated legal fees not included.)
Trust me—with my skills and experience you will be sure to find a way out of your “romantic” relationship without the fuss and hassle of any leftover worry and guilt. Mine is a guaranteed and proven path to freedom and solitude!
