Congratulations on your engagement–and your practicality! And this is a good time to ask this question: due to the economy, there is a visible upsurge in brides recycling their wedding dresses. And right at this moment in time, many of these brides purchased their gowns within the past year or two, when money was a bit less tight–and so, if you’re interested in a higher-end, hot-designer gown, there are plenty of those available–where the bride DID go ahead and afford it but now–as a struggling newlywed–would be happy to recoup a fraction of that cost instead of letting it rot in her closet. (Still, that “fraction” still might not qualify as what you would call “low cost.”) If you’re not a frugal fashionista looking for a haute label, no matter: the trend toward re-selling one’s gown is in full upswing all across the cost board of wedding gowns.
Many brides have a sentimental attachment to their wedding gowns and intend to keep them (reinforced by sad vignettes of mothers and grandmothers gently lifting vintage gowns from the beds of tissue in which they’ve slumbered for decades in an attic or hope-chest, to shyly offer them up–almost always either hopelessly small, damaged in storage, or clownishly out of style). But more recently, once the post-wedding blush begins to fade, brides are beginning (usually encouraged by their husbands) to view their determination to hold onto them as impractical, taking up precious closet space when they could be picking up a few extra dollars while giving someone else a chance to enjoy the dress.
Shop your friends and family first. Sound stupid? Not so much. If, as is common, there has been a wedding every few months for the past year or so in your circle (these things tend to come in spurts), there are dresses hanging in closets chosen by people you know, whose taste (and even size) may be pretty close to your own. Only a few people would know. The previous bride would be flattered that you liked her gown enough to ask, and happy to see it get another moment in the spotlight. It could be her wedding gift to you, and what could be a more meaningful gift? You very likely may not share the same out-of-family friends to witness it, and certainly nobody on the groom’s side of the family will have a clue. (Best-case scenario: your best friend, with whom you’ve been exchanging clothing since middle school, got married in a different city. Eureka!)
Contrary to what every bride thinks when choosing her gown, your guests will come away with only an impression of your overall appearance–gown (general shape in a blur of ivory or white, maybe with lace; face; hair; veil). Women will retain more details than men, but they will fade. Few would be able to give it a fashion write-up listing its details. (Besides, there are so many similar-looking gowns on the market!) On top of that, the gown may require some alterations to fit you properly, which may give it a slightly different look. Since professional alterations can be expensive, if you have a decent seamstress in the family, she would probably be happy to help you out, provided the alterations don’t require a full re-make of the gown. That’s just too much pressure to ask of someone.
Consider also not only what can be done to alter the fit, but perhaps the addition (or removal!) of some small detailing that packs a big bang. Big bow somewhere, with a matching or offsetting smaller one? Love it or lose it. If it has a waistline, or is a body-skimming or A-line style, take advantage of the increasingly-popular trend to add a touch of your main wedding color by adding it to your gown in the form of a sash or cummerbund at the waist. If the gown is strapless, the same color could be added as a simple, tailored fold-forward band around the top of the bodice–or straps, a thin spaghetti-strap of color or a slightly wider, flatter, halter style. A simple shawl of the same color would be a perfect add-on for your exit.
Are you a brunette, whereas the previous wearer was blond? This seemingly insignificant detail can make a big difference–and can be played up even more: if she wore her hair up, wear yours down, or vice-versa. And definitely go for a completely different veil or headpiece. Consider a tiara if she didn’t wear one, or go minimalist and tuck it into the back curls of an updo. Select a different length of veil. Or, again, get that “touch of color” by selecting a veil trimmed with a pretty satin binding in your signature color–this will change the look of the whole ensemble more than you would think. If the dress isn’t very ornate, skip the veil altogether and tuck a very realistic silk bloom (matching something in your bouquet) behind one ear (real blossoms wilt from the heat of your head). A very plain, body-skimming gown could be upgraded to fabulous with an oversized, vintage-looking brooch of pearls or clear rhinestones–even some with that touch of “your” color. Then use the stones in the brooch to set the tone for your earrings and necklace–but keep them simple so the brooch stands out.
Nothing in the family? Call David’s Bridal–a couple of times a year, they offer a selection of gowns for $99. Ask them when their next $99 sale will be. Granted, the selection may be somewhat basic (and be prepared for them trying to up-sell you into something more expensive–that’s actually why they have these sales), but the gowns are well-made, and you can still use all of the above ideas (or tons of similar ideas that you may think of) to make them truly your own (just be sure to opt for home-made for sashes and cummerbunds, E-bay for brooches and bridal jewelry, Craigslist or E-bay for long-line strapless bras, bridal slips, veils and shoes–because buying accessories at a bridal salon will quickly wipe out any savings on your $99 gown.)
Speaking of accessories, allow me to say that regardless of where you buy them, don’t fail to buy the appropriate undergarments for your wedding day–usually, as mentioned above, a long-line bra and a bridal crinoline of the appropriate fullness for the skirt of your dress. They really do give even the most slender bride a firmer foundation that will enhance your self-confidence on The Day, which simply can’t be provided by a regular bra and a long slip. These can be found both on E-bay as well as Craigslist. Of course, these more personal items are going closest to your body, so you may be reticent to buy used. But don’t be. These have almost certainly been worn only once, and the crinoline can probably be machine washed and dried (check it afterwards for any “hanging” threads and trim them off), and give the long-line bra a leisurely soak in Woolite, a good rinse, and lay it flat to dry (the washing machine might bend one or more of the “stays,” which would ruin the utility of the piece). You will know they’re fresh and clean, they’ll get the job done, they’ll cost less than half of new and nobody’s going to see them anyway.
Again, is there a seamstress among your friends and family who would be willing to make a dress if it wasn’t too complicated? If you’re into simple elegance, pore over the pattern books in the “special occasion” and “bridal” sections. Choose something that fits close to the body–because if you’re going for a Cinderella look, quality fabric has simply become too expensive to make sewing a good value for anything that requires very much yardage. Still, there is no better way to achieve a memorably one-of-a-kind look than an elegantly simple cut, allowing the beauty of knockout fabric or lace to make your statement without further fanfare. (Well, and maybe that fabulous brooch.)
As to shopping for a low-priced wedding gown–right now, we are coming up on prom season, and in cities that have a lot of formal night life, many have springtime “Black and White Balls” for one charity or another. Utilitarian as it sounds, J.C. Penney carries a good selection of prom and ball gowns, in sizes ranging from juniors to misses to “plus”–and among their selection there will be a number of white gowns (ivory is harder to find). You might find something elegantly simple to something frilly and fabulous. And you’re going to find it without the 100% markup that comes along with attaching the word “wedding” to any item. (J.C. Penney also has a specialty “wedding” catalog where the prices are comparable to David’s Bridal, but you’ll see what I mean about the link between the word “wedding” and escalation of prices.) Macy’s will also have a selection of special-occasion dresses (the larger the Macy’s, the larger the selection, but also the higher the range of the prices). If you wear a junior size, check out prom-dress selections in any juniors’ shop or department, which should be starting to get in prom-wear soon. It remains to be seen whether the dire predictions for our economy for the near future will cause retailers to take a more conservative approach in the amount of special-occasion apparel they display this season.
At this “prom” time of year, look for one or two teenaged-girl-targeted magazines that will have many pages (or even a whole dedicated issue) showing dozens of prom dresses, complete with purchase information–you may find something there that would work.
I would tend to not waste a lot of time with consignment shops–because there’s still a middleman profit in the price (usually 35%), and because they tend to favor high-end merchandise. Usually the price is set by the seller, who has an unrealistic idea of the worth of the gown, with the 35% commission tacked on top. And, of course, you can’t return it.
For the opposite reason, I wouldn’t spend a lot of time at thrift shops, either. Despite their ostensible community-service commitment as a resource for people on a budget, most of their gowns are dated in style (think Princess-Di 1980’s) but not dated enough to give them classic or vintage charm. And shame on these stores! As the economy has tightened, these gowns (which were donated to them for free) have crept up from around $100 to over $300. And you’re still looking at another $100 (at least) to have them professionally cleaned and pressed. And, again, you can’t return it.
As big a fan as I am of both E-bay and Craigslist, I would not purchase a wedding gown on E-bay–for several reasons. First, I simply don’t think it’s wise to buy a garment as important as your wedding gown, without being able to touch it and try it on. Second, the condition as described by the seller on E-bay is relatively subjective. They may THINK it’s “like new” without realizing that there’s one tiny drop of champagne on the back that they didn’t realize landed on the gown, which, after a year in their closet, is turning a rusty brown and eating a hole in the fabric.
I would definitely recommend searching Craigslist, daily. Just go to “items for sale” and search for “wedding gown, wedding dress.” Once you’ve gone through the listings for the past several days, you will only need to go through the current day’s listings each evening. If I was searching for a wedding gown for myself, I might even check a Craigslist from a nearby city–perhaps a few hours’ drive away. It could be a nice day trip for you and your mom or your best friend, if it’s a dress you really think might be the one, and provided you can convince the seller to hold it for you. (Do not buy the dress if it’s not right just because you made a long trip. Maybe give the seller $20 for holding it for you.) And the bonding experience and small wedding details that could get ironed out on the trip? Priceless.
Although you will still find your share of out-of-style oldies on Craigslist, you’ll find a large number of current styles being sold shortly after a wedding, and even a surprising number of brand-new, never-worn gowns where the bride changed her mind and bought a different dress or the wedding was cancelled. Wedding dresses tend to run small, so look for anything that’s your regular size, to one or two sizes larger–if you like the style and it IS a bit large, it can be altered down. As to the question of whether it can be altered “up” in size, certainly you can ask the seller–before investing your time in going to look at it–if it has any extra fabric in the side seams that might allow for that. (Sometimes if a dress has been altered “down,” they leave the extra fabric–sometimes they trim it away.)
In trying on a dress in someone’s home, it’s best to bring someone with you–your best friend, your mom, or your family “seamstress” person, who could advise as to whether it could be made to fit. Don’t think you will offend the seller by taking your time trying it on (and when you’re in her back bedroom doing so, first spread it out on the bed or the carpet and look it over good for any spots, then flip it over and check the other side–two pairs of eyes are better than one). Bring a pair of heels approximately the height you plan to wear (be conservative–comfort is better than limping)–a dress can always be shortened, but not lengthened (although if it has a full skirt, wearing a less-fluffy crinoline under it might give you an extra inch in length). Ask the owner directly if the dress has been cleaned since the wedding–and if it has been cleaned, take that into consideration when thinking about the end price. Cleaning will be $100 or more. (If it truly seems immaculate and has no nervous-underarm smells, so that you are comfortable with the state it’s in, you may be able to get it "pressed only" (not cleaned) for $50-$75, depending on how voluminous the dress is and the amount of detail it has.)
If it’s almost but not quite right, consider some of the quick-fixes mentioned above, that might make it exactly right. Again, this is where it’s best to have that other person along.
Another trend I’ve noticed on Craigslist just in my local area, and which should come up under the same search parameters, is that of new businesses buying up used wedding gowns, bridesmaid gowns, wedding décor, etc., and renting them. They would certainly be worth calling, to ask about rental cost, what they have in your size, etc. They generally guarantee that each gown will be professionally cleaned after each wearing. If I found exactly what I wanted there, I would want to know how many weddings it’s scheduled for ahead of mine. (And make a Plan B for if the dress gets stained or torn before yours.)
And finally, along the same lines but more national in scope, is the used-but-fabulous site www.bravobrides.com. Prices tend to be higher, and I’d have some of the same reservations that I have about E-bay regarding fit and condition, but having not purchased from the site, I’m uncertain about returns or disputes; I mention it because it could be a resource.
As you see, there many ways to economize on the purchase of the perfect wedding gown for you.
The keys to being happy with your choice are flexibility and creativity. Best wishes in your search. Make it fun, and wear it in beauty and confidence!
01.16.09, with update 04.16.09:
Target has added a couple of simple (both elegantly simple, one satin, the other a fine knit, perfect for a beach/outdoor wedding–they can be "customized" to your wedding with sashes or a large silk flower brooch in your wedding colors):
and
Online, Target also has flowergirl dresses, several dresses under "Special Occasion Dresses" that are bright summery colors in fine fabrics and suitable for bridesmaids’ dresses, if you’re okay with knee-length for the maids. They have expanded their wedding-related items, such as favor boxes, wedding albums, etc.
Walmart has also noted an opportunity to serve budget-conscious brides and has expanded their wedding section, with many quite tasteful accessories.
