There are so many assisted living communities out there that it becomes a real chore for a family to choose the right one for your loved one. There is no perfect community for everyone; choices should be based on the level of care needs and interests of the person being placed, as well as the needs of the family. Do some research and find out the differences between nursing homes, assisted living homes, assisted living communities, adult foster care homes, etc. For example: Does your loved one require nursing care—tubes, IV’s, deep wound care, etc? Then he/she needs a nursing home.
Does he/she need reminders taking meds, need meals prepared, need help taking showers/dressing, etc. or need supervision/direction? Then he/she needs to be in assisted living. The level of assistance needed and mental status will determine which type assisted living situation they need. Foster care homes provide a home that incorporates mom or dad into the family there and provides meals and transportation and social activities, while allowing client to be independent in most of daily activities. Seniors who are very social and active would probably do best in a larger assisted care facility. If they have some level of dementia/Alzheimer’s, they need to be in a facility or home with secured doors/fenced yards, and enough staff to provide close supervision. If they are rather independent and prefer to be alone a lot, a smaller care home situation would suit them best. There are many agencies out there that provide free referrals to the various levels of care facilities, like A Place for Mom. Your local Area Agency on Aging can also refer you to various resources available in your community. There are other great agencies out there to help you in your quest to do the best for your loved ones, such as the Caregiver Resource Network. Check online or in the phone book under caregiver resources, senior services, referral services, etc.
Now that you have determined what type care facility is needed, how do you find a good one? Here is a list of things to think about/question when looking for a place for your loved one:
1. Don’t be fooled by gorgeous décor of a facility; beauty is nice, but be more concerned about the cleanliness and adequate space to move around in. The warmth or hominess is more important than “gorgeous.” Does the air have urine smells everywhere; that is a red flag.
2. What is the staff-to-resident ratio? Is there only 1 staff member visible to care for 10 people? This may not be the right fit for you.
3. How do the staff interact with the residents? Are the staff busy cleaning/caring for residents or are they standing in a corner chatting with each other?
4. How do the residents look—clean, happy, neglected, confused, etc.?
5. What does the menu look like? Is it food your loved one likes? Are there choices at meals? Do they offer snacks/drinks regularly? Does it look colorful and appetizing? Is the kitchen clean? Is the hot food hot? Do people needing help seem to be getting help eating? Do the residents appear to be enjoying their meals?
6. Does the facility/home have an activity calendar? Is it full of fun activities? Visit during some activities and see how the staff interacts with residents and how the residents seem to be feeling about the activities. Even small care homes should offer plenty of activities to their residents. Do they go on outings? Do they encourage family visits often? Do they offer opportunities for celebrating your favorite holidays/religious beliefs?
7. Ask lots of questions and pay attention to how open the staff is to answering your questions; ask to see the last 2 evaluations by licensing agencies; is the local number for the licensing and ombudsman prominently displayed on the wall?
8. Be prepared for your loved one to say they don’t want to go to the home you choose, no matter how perfect it is. Remember and be respectful of their wishes and include them in the choices, if appropriate. When you have chosen a place, make the transition a little easier by bringing to the “home” some of your loved one’s favorite things and help them to place them in a familiar way so they feel more at home it their new surroundings.
9. Reassure the loved one that you are not abandoning them; visit frequently so they see that you are still close by. When they are settled in, take them out to lunch or shopping, if appropriate, or bring the grandkids to visit and have a picnic outside. This will help the person feel secure in their new surroundings.
10. Get rid of the guilty feelings of having to place your loved one. There is a point when you have to do what is best for them, regardless of feelings or promises made in the heat of conversations in the past. Do your homework on the facilities out there and choose wisely; and remember that the proper care and safety of your loved one is the first priority.
