Now that Bank of America has taken over that disgusting quasi-criminal organization called Countrywide Home Loans, and that douche bag Angelo Mozilo has taken the $400,000,000.00 he stole from the American homeowner and retired, many of us that are stuck with Countrywide mortgages that we can hardly afford on homes that are worth less than what we owe in an economy where our incomes are much less than they were when we signed the note –we’re falling behind on payments.
Back when we had over one hundred mortgage payments made without a single late, we didn’t concern ourselves with wondering how Countrywide would retaliate if we were in fact late with a payment. Now we know: Late charges. With Countrywide, these “charges” or “fees” or “fines” come in the form of 5% of the late balance. I guess that is better than breaking our thumbs. But it is still unacceptable. I’ll tell you why, and what you can do about it.
Refuse to let them get away with it! Would you just let someone break your thumbs even if you agreed to allow them to punish you in this way before you took the loan? It is crazy crappy agreements like this, so wrong, so immoral, yet like the kid who on their eighteenth birthday embarks on a porn career: Barely legal. You say “Well, a deal is a deal, and I lost the bet. What can I do but pay? I don’t want to be a weasel.” -Get that thinking right out of your head! They will try to play on that, and they will throw it in your face.
Remember that these greasy usurers made many, many bad bets. They got paid very, very well before their horse even crossed the finish line with its nose up the ass of the next to the last horse (the one the mortgagee bet on). They are the professionals that are more educated and informed than the people they got to sign on the bottom line. The most important difference: The American taxpayer is covering their bad bets while they enjoy spending the winnings that they received prematurely. No one is going to bail out the upside down homeowner. Weasel out of these late charges…and don’t you dare feel bad about it!
Step #1 -Get from the robot voice jail to a real person. Countrywide has a pleasant sounding female robot with voice recognition abilities. She will tell you that the call may be recorded. This is a two way street…So, be sure to record the call yourself. Hopefully a representative will treat you in a way that will allow you to sue them and a recording is the best evidence. Have some fun with the robot by swearing at it, and getting as much rudeness out of your system as you can -lest you take it out on the poor $12.00 per hour cubicle dweller that you are about to be referred to by the android.
Step #2 -Let the first cubicle dweller read through their script of bullshit, and then respond with: “No. That is unacceptable. I want all of the late charges dropped” Continue to be obstinate until you are referred to the next higher ranking cubicle dweller. This one will tell you that all they are authorized to do is to drop one late charge, and just to appear as extra generous they will offer to drop the biggest one. Repeat this: “No,That is unacceptable. I want all the late charges dropped.” Ask: “Who is authorized to drop them all?”
Step #3 -By this point you should be connected to the supervising cubicle dweller that has the power to knock off a lot more than one late charge. This is the person that you need to talk sense to. Simply explain that 5% of the late balance per month is the same as charging 60% annual interest no matter what they call it; fee, fine, charge, etc. Ask them if they work for a bank or a loan shark, a rhetorical question, these days it is one in the same.
At this point they will cut the charges. Following this procedure, just last week, I got about $600.00 cut down to $300.00. This is still somewhat of an exercise in futility. They can’t foreclose because you owe late charges, and they don’t report you as being late on late charges to the credit reporting agencies. The way I see it: They can want these late charges in one hand, and shit in the other –and see which fills up faster. It may be fifteen years before we talk about these charges again, and this next time I won’t sound like: “F.Y.I. blah, blah, blah.” It will be more short and sweet, like: “F.Y.”
About Kevin Leland I've had a job or a hobby for just about every letter of the alphabet. The many experiences along the way has given me tons of material To write about along the way. Some completely anecdotal, some informational. I like to mix both up with a dash of potty humor.
