Why doesn’t “good” always triumph? Why hasn’t any of us actually seen Him? Why does He let good people die too soon? Why is there bondage, famine, suffering and war? Where is the love He talks about? Why doesn’t He punish the wicked? Why would He let His son die at the hands of mere mortals? If He gave us the gift of life, why are we born to die? If He is all-powerful, why do Christians (His children) suffer? So often we hear Christians talk about the beauty of trees, rivers, and clouds as His majestic creation; is that the only proof Christians can offer? Where was He when I needed Him?
I have children. When they were born, it changed my life. I saw them and knew that I was the only one they could depend on. Their birth forced me to be more responsible. It wasn’t “just me” anymore and I wished that God would love me as I loved them. As babies, I never wanted to leave them. Changing diapers wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be. Feeding them and letting them “barf” all over me wasn’t a problem either. I would watch their every move, constantly, in a protective mode. As they started to crawl, then walk, I would see their curiosity and personality begin to form. I would enjoy watching them explore and learn. I didn’t want to see them get hurt and would tell them repeatedly, “Don’t touch that!”. Sometimes they didn’t listen or understand and I’d hear them crying.
As they became toddlers and started to play with other children, I had to try to help them understand how to interact with other children. I felt so proud when they would display the manners and affection I had hoped they would feel. Sometimes with other children, they might get screamed at or hit, and again I would hear them cry. I’m sure they felt betrayed when I did nothing to the other children. Even though other children hurt mine, I had to understand and love them anyway.
As they grew, I shared all the time and affection I could with them and try to help them understand life. I tried to teach and show them love that often wasn’t appreciated by society. They believed in the unselfishness of love and unwittingly suffered pain, then, perceived it as a vulnerability. They began to doubt the virtue of love in the world and began to explore their own desires. I had to let them.
I could have protected them from their own choices; they would never have learned responsibility. I knew to build character, they must conquer their challenges ( even if I had to help). I knew that if I forced them to do what I say, they would unwillingly comply to my threats. If I showed them my rage, they would fear my power.
I don’t want my children to fear me and I can’t force them to love me. I want them to know I will do anything for them because I love them and I want them to feel free to love me for who I am, not for what I can do for them. I want them to learn to be loving, happy, content, patient, kind, unselfish, faithful, gentle and in control of their destiny.
I wished that God loved me as I love my children. He does, only better.
