How times change. There was a time I would never have thought of getting a gift and in turn giving it to someone else as a gift. That just didn’t seem right. If I received something that I absolutely couldn’t live with, I either gave it away to a family member almost with a contract that they would never tell anyone that I did so.
It’s very different today, especially in these frugal times. I put gifts that I will probably never use or wear in a special place in my closet. After all, they are brand new and still in their original boxes. The thing that changed my mind about giving my gifts to others - it’s technically re-gifting - happened while I was at an aunt’s house and she wanted to give me some Christmas towels that she ‘never used’. And she hadn’t. They were the loveliest red, with crocheted red trim with embroidered Christmas designs on them. I happily took them home and when I unfolded them, there was actual deterioration going on from being in her closet so long. I decided then and there that I would find a home for my aberrant gifts. Some of the items, I decided to give to others:
Sweaters and/or blouses that either were not my style or too big or too small. Some of these were presents from Italy (little likelihood this one would be uncovered by the ReGift Police.) All had tags.
Purses that were too big or too small. Handbags or purses are individual choices and you are either a big bag or smaller bag lady. How it fits on your shoulder is important, too. I would not give a handbag as a gift UNLESS I was with the person I bought it for and she had made drooling over it. Otherwise, it can be regifted. Always new tags on them.
Same with colognes and perfumes. Even more of an individual choice. I use my favorite ones and am happy when I am gifted them; but sometimes I get powder sets, perfume, or cologne that I know does not go with my body chemistry and I try to regift them ASAP because they change in time and sometimes evaporate, so this is a necessary regift - always in original box and not opened. Not even peeked at.
Umbrellas, scarves & hat sets, gloves, silk or polyester scarves (lots of these), Christmas socks, aprons, any apparel that is not ‘you’. Always in perfect new in-the-box condition with tags. The big yellow dots on green background scarf that appealed to the giver, may make you wince as you say, "thank you, it’s lovely."
I receive lots of planners, calendars, many picture frames, pen sets, figurines, vases, bedside clocks, manicure sets, and personal items that I already have lots of, and they are in my closet, too. I try to find a home for them. Giving regifts is shopping in and of itself. You truly have to find a match for the gift - you shouldn’t close your eyes and pick one. Otherwise, it will sit in someone’s closet waiting to be regifted. Hopefully, not back to you.
This is a BIG one. Christmas gifts in the shape of cookie jars - I have 4 already packed away; tree trimmings - I’m overbooked on the tree; Santa figurines and dishes; holiday tablecloths, ceramic holiday boxes, glasses, etc. etc. I have these in the attic - they would take up the whole closet. They are up there year after year and why? Someone could be enjoying them, especially young families with kids who may not be able to afford them. These are still in original boxes - never used - look like they are from the store.
Jewelry. I have enough Christmas pins to wear different ones a couple of times a month. I do have favorites and will never part with them, but many of them are still in their presentation boxes ready to belong to someone new.
It seems strange giving something I did not buy to someone else as a gift. It was hard at first. I gave re-gifts as a hostess gift when we were invited out to dinner; hospital visits (cologne or powder); neighborhood shower gifts; thank you gifts; birthday party gifts; and Christmas visits or grab bag gifts.
If the gift was a more expensive one and inappropriate for the re-gift occasion, I donated it to a charity that asked for donations and there are lots of them that do. I also have donated them for tricky-tray events and door prize gifts. I would have bought something at the store so why not donate something even nicer than what I would have bought.
I make sure that I am careful who I re-gift to. I put a sticky on the gift when I got it and who gave it to me, because you can forget. And that would be a disaster if you gave it to someone in that same family or worse, back to the person. I try to give it to someone from a different group and even a different state or country. The gift has to be in ‘bought in a store’ condition with pristine box and and pristine condition. Otherwise, it’s not a gift. I never re-gift something from a thrift store or garage sale, because you just don’t know who donated it to them and that’s not a gift. And they usually don’t look new even when they are new. I get lots of books because I love to read, and I never re-gift them. Some people do - in fact, I got one, with the title page carefully torn out on top where it may have been inscribed. Tacky. Although my books are in great shape - they are like family members to me and I hoard them anyway - but a used book even read once may have a stain somewhere through it if it were already read and then - it’s not a gift. I never give anything away that has been used. It has to be new and waiting…..for the right new person to get it. Do I ever tell people it’s a re-gift. No - they don’t have to know. I don’t tell anyone. That way, it can’t be repeated. Of course, for the next few years, I won’t be able to regift, because whoever reads this will wonder . . . .
My most fun gifts to give away are the holiday ones. Especially with young children in the family who love Christmas dishes and candy dishes which I give an additional gift of candy to fill it. I usually add something like this to each of my regifts. I add a wrapped package of cookies for the cookie jar, or a package of espresso coffee for the small espresso maker. Never give a regift in the original wrapping paper. Always make it look like a brand new gift–which it is.
Sometimes I get a gift that looks like a re-gift. You can tell because it is not anything you ever used, or talked about or had in your house or wore on your body. It is so off mark that it has to be. I always receive it gratefully - after all, it is a gift. And you don’t always know what financial situation the gift-giver is in, so, be gracious and sincere. It is a gift nevertheless. If it is something that I think can be given again, I do the sticky note and closet thing. If it is something that I truly find untasteful or would never give as a gift, it gets donated to the thrift shop. Make sure you take any tags off of that one and find a thrift shop that is not near your house, just in case. Someone else may love it and it’s better than its getting deteriorated in your closet.
I am a giver rather than a receiver. I love to give gifts to people. My re-gifting allows me to give more gifts to more people. Sometimes, the pest sprayer is the giftee, or a regifted new tray with cookies to the nurses in the doctor’s office, or simply wrapped under the tree with tag of what it is in case someone stops over and brings me a gift and I don’t have one for them. These aberrant gifts are gifts in themselves; they are a blessing in disguise when a gift is necessary ASAP or simply a pick-up for someone who was not expecting one.
Be sensitive; look at all angles, but do it rather than not. It’s wasteful to keep things that someone else could use or need.
Some thoughts on Giving: The manner of giving is worth more than the gift. ~Pierre Corneille, Le Menteur
It isn’t the size of the gift that matters, but the size of the heart that gives it. ~Quoted in The Angels’ Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994
The Ten Most Regifted Gifts (the comments are mine):
10. Booze (I put it in a fancy bottle holder.)
9. Gift cards (these are easy and nice)
8. Fruitcake (we keep these)
7. Candles (yes, but no used ones)
6. Cookbooks (hmm, I get lots of these but keep them)
5. Jewelry (I relate)
4. Picture Frame (tons)
3. Gift Basket (they get tacky looking easily so make sure it is pristine and not old)
2. Housewares (lots if mugs - I use them as table decorations and fill them with candies or little toys for kids to take-home)
1. Clothing (a big one)
Source: Gail Gedan Spencer – December 17, 2008 — Filed Under Offbeat, Shopping
