‘I lost my job,’ it’s a weird expression; as if you took it out for a walk and left it in the park. Maybe if you go back and look hard, there it will be huddled and crying under a tree, accusing you of taking it for granted.
Though the phrase does have a touch of wistful bewilderment it goes nowhere near describing that gut-wrenching elevator drop as all your illusions of security crash into the pit of your stomach.
That first few moments are the worst, as your head spins with the news and you try desperately to hold onto some dignity when all you really want to do is scream at the unfairness of it or throw up over your ex-boss’s loafers. So you keep your back straight as you empty your desk and you bite your tongue to keep your chin from trembling and you give your ex-colleagues a rueful wave as they wish you a sad farewell (while all the time breathing great sighs of relief that it was not them).
Hopefully you had the good sense not to sign any severance agreements until you have had time to catch your breath and seek advice. Also much as you might feel like stamping off over the horizon you would be better to take any redundancy support schemes they have on offer.
Once you get home and close the door behind you, you will have to come to terms with what has happened. Here is my totally unscientific but tried and tested advice on:
How To Survive Losing Your Job
1. Be angry
The amount of anger you feel is quite likely to be proportional to the number of years you worked at the company. If you need to vent, do so but not in a public place or near horses or small children or you may get arrested. Go home, turn the music on full blast and scream your heart out. Imagine the smarmy face of your boss as they gave you the bad news and tell that ungrateful swine just what you really think of him (or her).
2. Be sad
You are allowed to grieve a little. After all, being at work is such a large part of most people’s lives that the office or workplace is like a second home. The people there know everything about you and vice versa. Possibly they celebrated with you when your first baby came along and you supported them through their second or third facelift. These people were, for a time, a secondary clan. Grief at losing that camaraderie is not uncommon.
3. Be afraid
Yes, really. In the privacy of your own home, let your mind do its worst. Imagine that you are not able to find any employment for the next ten years. How bad can things get? Will you have to sell the house, give up the car, cancel the holiday, hock your Dinky car collection? All these things are material and replaceable.
Your wife/husband will think you are a failure and leave you? Hasta la vista, baby! She /he didn’t deserve you.
You will have to put a stop to your kid’s tennis/horse riding/swimming/sword fencing lessons? Okay, that is a toughie, but that is also life. If your child wants it badly enough, he or she can come to an arrangement with the trainer (e.g. clean out the stables twice a week, mop the floors at the gym).
The point is, you will be afraid. Losing your job is scary, but it is not the end of the world. Don’t let the feelings of anxiety and insecurity cloud your vision and you will soon be able to see past the fear.
Have you had enough negativity yet?
Okay, so let’s move on to the positive . . .
4. Be Productive
Frankly, as you are already well aware, this is not a good time to lose your job. There are just not that many opportunities out there. Maybe you could just take a break and put your feet up. You’ve been working for years and hey, you deserve a rest, right?
STOP RIGHT THERE! Down that road, lies apathy and despair.
Let’s do a bit of projection. Close your eyes and imagine yourself two years from now. There you are relaxing at home with your feet up on the sofa. You are wearing a grubby grey vest and your beer gut is hanging over the waistband of your jeans. While the TV blares mindless drivel in the corner, you scratch your butt, lean over and pop another can.
What? That’s not you?
Okay, so get moving. Right now, it doesn’t matter what you do so long as it is positive and productive. It doesn’t even have to relate to finding employment. You just have to be able to generate a feeling of satisfaction.
• Learn a new skill
• Paint the bedroom
• Organise your wardrobe
• Take up Morris dancing
5. Be Fit and Healthy
Keeping in shape is more than vanity. Exercise will work out a lot of the tension and stress you are feeling and release endorphins into your system that will give you a more positive attitude to the future. Not to mention of course that you will be more confident if you know you’ve got buns of steel. Now is the time to get down to the gym (not least because you will probably be cancelling membership next month), but if you do not have gym club membership, don’t worry, just eat less and move more.
6. Be Serious
Okay, when you are ready, it is time to get serious again.
- Apply for Unemployment Benefits
Some people find signing up for Unemployment Benefits hard to swallow. Why? As long as you were not fired for ‘misconduct’, it is your right to collect this money. The amount and the duration of payments will vary according to where you live but if it will help you get by without dipping into your savings, don’t you dare turn your nose up at it. A proud skeleton is just as skinny as a humble one, you know.
- Network Your Buns Off
Don’t underestimate the potential contacts of anyone you know. Presumably you’ve been through your address book and all your immediate contacts already. Without turning into a crazy person, tell everyone you meet that you are looking for a job. If you see people cross the street to avoid you, you are probably overdoing it but you need to know there is no shame in being unemployed. When someone asks what you do, don’t mutter that you are “…in publishing.” Say, “Actually, I was in publishing (or XXXX) for twenty years, know everything there is to know about XXXX and I am currently looking for a new job."
- Offer Your Services Freelance
Where a company may not wish to hire full time staff they may have regular gigs for freelancers. Search freelance and outsourcing-related terms on Google and spend some time on related forums to get a feel for what is out there and what you might reasonably ask to get paid.
- Be Flexible
You must be prepared to step outside your comfort zone. These are testing times for everybody and if there are no full time positions in your area or in your field, search for part-time or widen your horizons.
Losing your job is surely one of life’s most stressful events. It may seem especially dire right now because of the current economic climate, but it need not be the end of the world. Keep active, keep informed and don’t give up. Remember that when one door closes, another will open. You just have to be ready for it when it does.
