When her puppy died of Parvo virus an owner was left puzzled as to what to tell her children aged 2 and 5. She thought the pup had been vaccinated but after its death she feels it may no have been. Before addressing the question itself (of how to tell the children) it must be noted that a pup must have a series of vaccinations before it can be considered to be protected against Parvo. Even still the pup is not protected until 3 days after the last shot, and if that isn’t enough, being fully vaccinated is not a guarantee of protection against this deadly disease. An owner should not just take a sellers word that a pup is fully vaccinated, they should also have the health certificate from a veterinarian stating when the shots took place and when booster shots are due.
Having got that out of the way we must now address the fact that puppies do die. Lying to a child about the death is the absolute worst thing a parent can do. Even at this young age children should be respected enough to be told the truth. A 2-year-old will not understand the situation nearly as much as a 5-year-old will, but both should be talked to in mature terms. I know… my first husband died when my daughter was 5-years-old.
For most children pet death is the first death they will encounter. It is for this reason that it needs to be handled correctly. Telling a child that it ran away, or that you gave it away, denies them a learning step, that being the step of learning about life and death. Things live, things die.
Saying that the pet “went to sleep” is not true either and may actually confuse a child. Saying that it “went to heaven” may also be confusing. The best thing is to stick to the facts. In the case of this pup that died from Parvo, a child can be told the puppy got a very bad dog disease that hurt its insides and killed it. If the scenario was one where a dog got ran over by a car, again stick to the truth, tell the child that a heavy vehicle hit the puppy and it did not live because it was injured. The truth also helps children learn about why safety and health care is important.
A person who is educated will be best to answer the questions, but if you do not know the answer, do not lie. As such if the child asks how did the puppy get the sickness (parvo) an informed owner could say that the sickness comes from a tiny thing (virus) that the puppy probably got on its paws and swallowed, but that it will not hurt people. The owner/parent is best to only answer what is asked, but to always answer if they can, and if not say “I do not know.”.
Sometimes a pet dies because a child did something wrong. This is a difficult situation for parents, but again one that should be addressed with honestly. If the puppy died because a child let it out of the house or because they dropped it down the stairs the parent must first discipline the action and then be prepared to answer questions honestly without continuing to downgrade the child for their accident. Unless it wasn’t an accident but that is a whole other issue.
So, to answer the initial question of how to tell a 2 and 5-year-old that their puppy is dead, the best way is to do it honestly and openly. Some children may want to see the dead pup, which will allow closure and understanding, but should be done at a parents discretion depending on the physical appearance of the deceased dog.
