Men are hard to pin down as to what is meaningful to them. They are so often all about gadgets and technology, yet childlike at gift-giving time, viewing “more” as “better,” that if you don’t have a lot to spend at gift time, it’s hard to judge exactly what smaller gift you could give that would mean a lot to them.
Much depends on the particular man. Does he understand that money is tight for you right now? If you’ve made something for him before, did he seem to appreciate the time it took? The type of gift you might give will also depend on where you are in this relationship–if you’ve been together a while, you can opt for a more “intimate” gift. If you’re a relatively new couple, stick with less-personal ideas.
Baked goods. There’s an old saying that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” If this seems to hold true for your guy, head to the dollar store to pick up an inexpensive, larger gift box with a pre-printed lid (so you don’t have to flip over baked goods in order to wrap it). These may come in packages of 2 or 3–all the better: tape 2 bottoms together for added stability. Line the boxes with waxed paper or foil, with a doubled layer of paper toweling on the bottom for “cushion.” Then bake an assortment of holiday goodies that you know he’ll like–at least 3, to make an appealing variety. Try your usual peanut-butter cookie recipe, but rolled in sugar with an (unwrapped, unless you’re really mad at him) Hershey’s kiss in the center; sugar cookies rolled by hand into small 3-inch logs, topped off by rum-flavored icing, etched lengthwise with the tines of a fork to resemble the lines in the bark on a log, and finished with the lightest dusting of nutmeg; brownies from a packaged mix and dressed up with a thin layer of pale-green, subtly peppermint-flavored icing. If you love to bake, add more varieties. Freeze what doesn’t fit in his box in airtight containers–because this labor of love will be a lot less special if it appears you were doing a big holiday baking session anyway, and just put a box of it together for him as an afterthought. To be meaningful, it needs to appear to have been done just for him.
Does he participate in a sport? Flip through your photos–or his. Is there a shot that shows him in action at his favorite activity? Even if it’s not centered, it can be cropped so that he’s the focal point. Take it to Costco or a photo-print service that still has time to turn out a poster-sized enlargement for you (most places send them out to a printing service, and at holiday time these services might be very backed up, causing a delay). Pick up a poster frame at a craft store or Walmart and you’ll have a one-of-kind sports-hero shot that he WILL make room for on his wall.
Do he and his friends love to get together for The Big Game? Write up a fancy “coupon” for catering a Superbowl or other “Big Game” party for him, where you will supply beverages, appetizers (even if his crowd just prefers a variety of chips-and-dips); maybe a crockpot of home-made chili with condiments of chopped onions or cheese on the side, a taco bar, meatballs in a savory sauce or a platter of meaty sandwiches; and home-made cookies. (Time the main course for Half Time.) Be sure you LIST the items you think he’d like on the coupon–the more fabulous it sounds, the better.
Is he a reader? You could pick up a book he likes or a gift card for roughly the amount of a book–then package it together with hand-knit or crocheted slipper-socks in yummy, fuzzy yarns more commonly used for women’s wear, but in masculine shades, for cozy reading. And he doesn’t have to be a reader to enjoy the same type of wonderfully soft yarn made into a warm and super-cozy scarf. These items, while hand-done, can be finished in a couple of evenings.
Is he a skier or snowboarder? A colorful, whimsical knitted or crocheted cap–in fact, the more outlandish the better–would keep him warm and make him happy. Also, chemical hand and toe-warmers: these can be purchased individually at sporting goods stores, but you can buy a whole season’s worth at Amazon.com. for about $35.00. This could be the best gift he gets all season, and will remind him that you care about his comfort while he’s out enjoying the elements.
Poker player? A new deck of cards. Additional chips. Can they ever have enough chips? A card shuffler. An offer (on a large, official-looking “coupon”) to “cater” refreshments for a poker night with his friends–with a promise to disappear after set-up to leave the guys to their guy-talk.
A magazine subscription that caters to any of his specific interests–sports, photography, science, etc.–can be presented with the current issue of the magazine, nicely wrapped.
Is he a music lover? Does your best friend’s brother have an encyclopedic collection? Get permission to burn some CD’s of an artist or band that he likes but hasn’t gotten around to collecting on his own. Or an iTunes or Amazon.com gift card, even for a modest amount, will not only buy its value in music, but provide some much-enjoyed browsing time as he decides what he wants to get.
A coupon book for back-rubs, foot rubs, a candle-lit dinner, doing his laundry, etc. The more imagination you put into this, and the greater the number of coupons, the more meaningful it will be. If you’re a well-established couple, the “etc.” can also include more “personal” coupons. And on that subject . . .
Go to your lingerie drawer (or to Ross or Marshall’s) and pick out a lacy teddy or babydoll nightgown–for you. And then wrap it up and give it him–with a note inside that says “oops! I meant to give this to Aunt Agnes!” Include a sprig of real or artificial mistletoe.
One final, somewhat risqué idea: “Boudoir” photos are expensive to buy from professional photographers, but can provide a day of fun for you and a sister or girlfriend to set up and snap of each other. The idea is to provide a racy, sexy–but still tasteful and not explicit–“pin-up” type photo for your boyfriend that can be presented in a beautiful frame. Keep the size at 5” X 7” so that if he displays it on his dresser or nightstand it doesn’t draw embarrassing attention if he gives a party and someone enters the bedroom to get to that 2nd bathroom. DO NOT consider this gift if this is not a long-term relationship, or if you could imagine the photo being e-mailed to everyone you know in the event of a bad breakup.
Get together with the girlfriend who has chosen to be your “partner in crime” for this escapade, and amass any and all things that could be used for a glamour-type shot: feather boas, a Victorian hat, long gloves, sheets or tablecloths in luxury fabrics or fabulous prints that can be spread over a bed to enhance a background. Prepare to go heavy on makeup, and choose a dramatic lipstick shade that you don’t usually wear. Research ideas by searching “vintage pinups” at allposters.com for ideas: you’ll find they don’t necessarily have to be bedroom-oriented. Being sexy doing everyday things is what the idea of pin-up photos is all about. A cute bib-type apron that covers everything but very obviously has nothing beneath it, holding a large mixing bowl and and wooden spoon or a sheet of cookies and wearing an oversized oven mitt, while sporting a tiny smudge of flour on a cheekbone or nose, would be a perfect accompaniment to a platter of of home-baked goodies–if your legs are your best feature, make this a full-length shot and add bright red high heels; drape yourself in a low-dipping or high-reaching towel, hair very flatteringly pinned up, as you sit on the edge of a bubble-filled bathtub appearing to check the temperature of the water, with half a dozen magazines fanned out in the crook of one elbow–or get IN the tub with the bubbles strategically covering and clinging; leaning forward to smell a bouquet of flowers or pick out a chocolate from a candy dish, in a low-cut top and push-up bra, “unintentionally” revealing the edge of a lacy bra and an immodest amount of cleavage. If you have snow and can find privacy in a wooded corner of your yard, find the cutest winter hat, trimmed with fur or a giant pom-pom and a matching scarf–and brave the cold to stand topless under a snow-dusted branch, hugging yourself as though very cold (which will be true!), simultaneously covering the outright indecent while subtly clenching your arms inward and upward, creating maximum cleavage; or peaking around the snowy branch, holding it out of your way with a gloved hand, with the two ends of the scarf coincidentally preventing the view from being X-rated.
Taking this type of photo with a friend and a digital camera gives you the added confidence while the pictures are being snapped, of knowing that 6 teenaged boys at a photo shop are not going to laugh at an unflattering shot, enjoy ANY of the shots a little too much, or post one on his Facebook page. And along with the freedom of that confidence, which may enable you to try for more dramatic shots (you can’t do this successfully and be shy), you get the added benefit of knowing there are no negatives anywhere–these photos will go noplace but your own computer, and everything you don’t want to save can be deleted right from the camera, or on the computer (be sure to empty the Recycle Bin). Use a photo program, such as Photoshop, to remove blemishes or whiten teeth a bit. A professional’s trick is also to lighten the white of the eyes a little.
Hopefully, if you don’t find just the right idea here, one of them might get you thinking along a similar line that will be a happy surprise for your guy.
12.14.08
