The Internet is filled with all kinds of articles on Internet dating. Everything from which dating sites are best, writing the perfect profile, to the dangers of Internet dating. What seems to be lacking is any advice on how to handle that first all important meeting.
Think about it. Meeting someone in person you met on a dating site is vastly different than meeting someone in a bar or being introduced through friends. What makes it different is the fact, that in cases where you meet someone in the public or through a friend your first introduction to them is in person. You know little or nothing about this person and have probably never held a conversation with them until after you meet. You have formed no kind of bond with them whatsoever. So, this first meeting is simply a get acquainted type of event.
Meeting online is the complete opposite. In many cases you have spent weeks or even months sending emails to one another, probably chatter on messenger, and by telephone. You have shared everyday occurrences and life histories. You are anything but strangers and yet that is exactly what you are.
I still recall how awkward I felt, the first time I agreed to meet someone in person I had met on the net. In my case we had emailed for a couple of months daily, slowly revealing things about ourselves, then we chatted on messenger and by telephone for a couple of months. Finally, after 6 months of getting to know one another we agreed to meet.
I was a nervous wreck before that meeting. I worried myself sick over how I was going to greet him. I felt as though we knew each other too well to offer him a simple handshake, but I wasn’t sure that I was up to anything more.
Luckily, I arrived at the restaurant we agreed to meet at first and was all ready seated when he arrived. Having a room full of people helped easy the awkwardness of this first meeting.
Over time, I developed my own method of meeting these “not quite strangers” that was comfortable for me. When arranging for this all important first date, I always agreed to meet them in a public restaurant or coffee house.
I made sure the initial meeting was at a half way location and never at meal time.
I told them upfront that I would prefer it if we each paid for our own coffee or whatever and candidly explained that if things did not work out I did not want them feeling as though they had to foot the entire bill for a mistake.
I always arrived early so I could be seated and therefore avoid any awkward hugs or clenches if the person turned out not to be who he seemed to be.
I made sure I had no expectations for where the relationship would go beyond this meeting, deciding to enjoy the experience of meeting someone new for the first time and not worry about what the future might hold.
I made up my mind that I would not be disappointed in the person I was meeting, no matter what. If we did not hit it off, there was still the chance we could be friends and if not friends, at least I could have an interesting experience.
These rules not only got me through the first awkward moments of meeting someone for the first time face to face, they also made my entire Internet dating experience a fun filled time that I thoroughly enjoyed.
