A wise woman once said "Life is too short to settle for anything less than butterflies." Of course, this woman was reading off of a script. It was said by Sarah Jessica Parker’s character, Carrie Bradshaw, in Sex and the City. So, I suppose the truly wise person was the one who penned that phrase. I couldn’t agree more. I’m going to give you a few tips of things to do to keep your marriage fresh, new, and most importantly, PASSIONATE. While reading these points, I don’t want you to ever think "Oh, I’m too old for that." You are NEVER too old for love, for passion, for intimacy, and remember, most importantly, that you will never be as young as you are right now.
Take a long, hot bubble bath- together. Light a few candles, fill the tub with a lightly scented bubble bath, and soak together. Take turns washing each other. Don’t spend this time talking about your day, work, the kids, or even at all. Let your other senses do the talking. Some of the greatest conversations I’ve ever had in my life haven’t been spoken by mouth, but rather, my eyes. Just take the time to deeply enjoy one another
Have one night a week where all other obligations are put off. Put the kids to bed. Turn your cell phones OFF, and turn the ringer off on the house phone. Nobody who could be calling you is as important as the person right beside you. Turn the lights down low, pop in a movie, or turn on a favorite TV show, and watch TOGETHER, not on separate chairs or couches. This is even better if you can cuddle in bed together while doing so
Talk openly about your desires, the things you enjoy doing, not only in general, but intimately, sexually. Fulfilling the desires and fantasies of your partner can be a deeply enjoyable experience. And no one is a mind reader. You need to know what your partner wants, and they need to know what YOU want.
Also, be sure to experiment! I don’t know how people can NOT get bored having sex the standard missionary style every time. Try new positions, roll playing, or maybe even a few props! Enjoy yourselves! But, if you become uncomfortable at any point with ANYTHING you are doing, let your partner know, and STOP! Sex is the greatest physical pleasure one can experience, and you never want to regret anything you have done intimately with you’re partner!
And, quite possibly one of the most important points: have your own lives! Have your own friends, your own hobbies, your own jobs, your own goals. Have several things that are just yours. Take time apart from each other, to run errands, visit with friends, anything. My marriage almost fell apart within the first year. This was not for a lack of loving one another, or for a lack of passion, but because my husband and I were spending TOO MUCH time together! This is possible! He had lost his job and was on unemployment, and I was out of work with an injury, and this went on for almost 8 months. There’s only so much you can take of one person, and seeing each other 24/7 is NOT healthy for a relationship. You need time to miss each other, to pine for one another.
I hope you take my tips to heart, and to continue to light (and relight!) that beautiful flame of passion!
