When you’re 70 or 80 or 90 years old, a dozen years doesn’t seem like much in looking back, but those dozen years of childhood provide lifelong memories. Childhood is a brief period of time that seems to be shrinking in the world today. Children are being coaxed in the womb to be smarter than their counterparts when born; computer activities take the place of parental interaction, and many eight-year-olds have more social life than their parents ever had!
I am in a minority, I think, when I express ideas about children being allowed to be children. It seems some parents are quite content with letting their kids practically raise themselves; as soon as the child is old enough to pour his own cereal, breakfast is on your own. No monitoring is given to the types of games they play or programs they watch on television or movies they go to. It seems to me that children are much too savvy at too early an age these days, and I don’t accept the explanation that “that’s the way it is now – that’s the way the world is.” If that’s the way it is, it is because parents and adults in general have allowed it to become that way. There’s no reason why we can’t have social and technical progress and still maintain family units while allowing children to retain their innocence as long as possible.
Every week, if not every day, we hear about children committing crimes against other children or adults. We hear about children being abused and neglected and killed for what can only be called ignorance and disrespect for humanity at large. If we allow our children to be children with loving parental supervision during their developing years, there will be fewer criminals once they turn 15 or 18 or 35. Criminals act out of desperation, greedy for control over something in their lives. Their emotions are out of control, otherwise they wouldn’t be driven to pull a gun or knife on someone for something so paltry as a few dollars or an insult.
I believe that children should be allowed to be children. People think it’s so cute when toddlers look or act like grown-ups. I recently witnessed some people encouraging a young child (maybe three or four years old) to curse and express an attitude that, ten years from now will most definitely NOT be amusing! When humans are in the childhood stage is when they learn what behaviors are acceptable in society. They will go as far as they can go testing the waters to see what will be tolerated. That seems to be human nature. Fractured family units shouldn’t be an excuse to let teaching right from wrong go by the wayside. If children know they are loved and valued, they will respond accordingly. When they know what the boundaries are, they will respect those boundaries. When they are treated with respect and fairness, even when they get in trouble, they will more easily learn the lessons there for them.
Parenting is not easy, and parents don’t have all the answers, but I believe having the best interests of the child at heart first and foremost will do more for the child then any lack of knowledge. Parenting is a decision humans have to make when they biologically produce a child. Giving birth or siring a child does not guarantee good parenting skills. Good parenting skills are learned by people who care about their offspring and who want to help create responsible, well-adjusted adults. If people are in a situation where they think good parenting is too difficult, then they need to make some hard choices. Do you stay in an abusive relationship where all suffer, or do you get out and get the children to safety where they can start learning this is not the way healthy people live? What we allow our children to witness is what they will accept as “normal” for their lives. They are paying attention whether they appear to be or not. They remember the things we say, the ways we act toward others; they will mirror this behavior among their peers because they think it’s the right way to act.
I encourage you to be an advocate of childhood. Let the children be children as long as possible. Stop pushing them to be older than they are. Let them have happy childhood memories and experiences that they can pass on to their children and grandchildren and nieces and nephews. Let them enjoy playing with their toys as long as they get pleasure from that activity instead of taking the toys away at a certain age because they’re “too old” to play that way. I would rather see a ten year old girl who enjoys playing with dolls and having tea party than a ten year old girl who is worried about her weight, begging to wear make-up, and going gaga over having a boyfriend.
Let the children be children. Instead of worrying about cavities and sugar, teach them how to brush their teeth and play a game to burn away the sugar. Let them eat cake.
