Life of an Internet Salesman

Consider this a disclaimer I guess. I sell stuff: my time, my labor, my skill, my thoughts, my art. At any given point in my working career, it’s been a combination of two or more of the aforementioned. I have, more than once, made my living strictly by selling stuff: vacuum cleaners (Kirby the reigning king of vacuum cleaners, I kid you not. Expensive, yeah, pretty much. I was selling them at four figures in the ’80’s… But, the best) mortgages, concrete block, lot’s of construction projects for my own business and for others.

Now, I’m selling my writing, and also selling WITH my writing. It hasn’t paid back much on the investment of time so far, unless it was for freelance projects, but I am still very enthused about what the future holds for contributors to a site like this one. If you are new to this, as I am, you may get discouraged, as I have, about the slow return on investment of time and effort. But hang in there, like I am. Keep producing good stuff, like I’m trying to. The pay-off may be bigger than we think, it just may take some time to get it. One Factoidz.com article may make $100.00. Not bad! But it may take 48 months get it. Also, not bad -when you think of how many more you can put in the pipeline in 48 months. Do the math, with a calculator and a calendar.

I’ve done telemarketing too. Legend has it that I sold my first Kirby to the first person I cold-called; my manager couldn’t stop telling the story. Everyone knows how everyone feels about telemarketers; and salesmen. That can beat up on a person’s self-esteem.

This is how I recommend that you cope with it:

• Sell stuff that you have personally reviewed, and will be able to believe your own pitch.
• Be honest, even when those you tell the truth are thinking every word is bull-shit.
• One nice person weighs as much as three jerks on the it’s-fun-to-work-with-the-public scale.
• Think like a proctologist.

You know that you are providing a person with a valuable, life-saving service when you remove that growing polyp from the patient’s colon. Deep down, your patient knows that they owe you a debt of gratitude. On the surface, they resent you for having to shove a video camera and twenty feet of garden hose up their ass. When everything is said and done, they will come to their senses and appreciate or maybe even like you. It was always like this with kitchen remodels for me. Those days that I came into their house and destroyed their kitchen, I was the villain. When it was all done, granite counter tops a ’shinin’; I was the hero…Until I asked for the check.

So, that is my general disclaimer. With more specificity: Right now, whether I’m getting paid directly, indirectly or not at all, I’m pitchin’ and believin’ in: Factoidz, GoDaddy.com and some on-line diamond companies, with more to come I’m sure. Now that you know that some of what I write is a pitch, I’ll do my best to make it not sound like one. I’ll try to be informative, interesting, funny, not too vulgar (PG-13), and never spammy. I won’t ring your phone off the hook while you are just sitting down to eat. I’ll do my homework and search for value. I’ll pass on the info. When I find deals and discounts, I’ll share them.