The crowds disaffected by Facebook are growing (or so, they say, even in The New York Times). I guess groups of vocal people heading for the exit is nothing compared to the millions heading for the entrance. But for those on the Facebook fence, here are my reasons for signing up for Facebook and then considering jumping off of it. I have an account, but am only marginally active. And I am ready to skedaddle. If you are considering quitting, here is some food for thought.
Why I signed up:
1. A friend, actually a REAL friend, suggested I join so that we could play Scrabulous and communicate at the same time. That was more than 2 years ago. By now, she has many, many friends and there is no more game to play. Facebook deep-sixed it. She was my first friend on Facebook and she still writes on my "wall" although I never see it until she emails and asks why I didn’t answer her on Facebook.
What needs explaining:
1. Why do they call messaging "writing on the wall?" This makes no sense to me, since, if there truly was a wall, it would be longer than The Great Wall of China. Also, a real Wall would have some graffiti or some phone numbers ("call Trixie for a good time") or something more interesting than "Did you really go out with that guy with the mohawk?" This term is one reason I never got into Facebook, literal figure that I am. I make it a practice to write only on real walls. Often more permanent.
What Happened Next:
2. After my younger friend, "Sherry" and I played a few rounds of Scrabulous, I got requests to be friends with strangers. From their photos and descriptions, they seemed to be about 17-25 years old. You can probably tell from the title of this Factoidz that I am all the way up and over that hill. I declined all teenage and young-adult friend requests. I imagine that led to me becoming Facebook-Unfriendly. That and the fact both of my young- adult children are veteran Facebook users. I do not want to know what they are up to and with whom. They tell me what they think I need to know. And I am 100% certain my kids already know all they know about me without becoming my Facebook friend. (I hope I related to them better than that).
3. I finally accepted one more friend, but only because he was from Pakistan. I figured I will probably never visit Pakistan, so I might as well have a friend from there. He seemed like a nice person, interested in fast cars.
4. Some time back, I accepted friend #3. He is from Italy. I accepted his friendship because my dream, long ago, was to become a foreign correspondent in Rome. I took one year of Italian in college (me and the opera singers) so I could know what to say when I went to Italy. The language is beautiful: belissimo. My problem was that my previous 8 years of French lessons caused me to answer in French when asked a question by my Italian teacher, Professor Gianinni. He used to say "Basta" and mean it. So far, my Italian friend seems to have nothing to say. Of course that could be because I never check Facebook.
Why I am barely on Facebook
1. I prefer face-to-face conversations with friends - and even strangers. I am a great interpreter of body language and voice reading. Not possible on Facebook. You have to take people at their word(s). And we all know what that means - especially without the voice and body language-reading. If my real-life friends are happy or sad I know it and I do not need to check their status on the internet. Face-to-face meetings are much more satisfying to me, especially if they include a nice cup of latte or a Martini, shaken not stirred. I do not need a Facebook or even a book, just a friend and some time to talk. Besides, I can learn more about a person’s astrology or personality in person - much preferred for certain types of energy readings.
2 .I prefer to keep my status private. People of a certain age are just not into revealing they caught their spouse cheating or their house is about to go into foreclosure. Or they are finally home after another round of plastic surgery. (Besides, isn’t it possible that one day Facebook might make the plastic surgery comment known to those who advertise related services?)
3. A lot of Facebook friends appear to be phonies: people who don’t really care what you are doing. I do not know why they don’t rename Facebook "Gossipbook." If they did, I might join. Keepin’ it real.I guess that’s why people like Perez Hilton exist and why some of us never read him.
4. Many people think they are missing out if they are not on Facebook. I do not know what they are missing. We survived without it before and we can survive without it again. Since I only have 3 friends, if I closed my account, nobody would care. I know Facebook is a quote/unquote valuable tool for networking and disseminating articles. But I have other options and I prefer those.
5. My overriding image of Facebook is some very very very rich kid who invented this "socializing" network in his dorm room. I wouldn’t mind being his friend.
