I am a bit upset at this time about the situation of being abused by a child or teen. It seems that there is not very much information available on the World Wide Web or even in some locations. However, where is a parent to turn when their child turns abusive? What resources are available to help a parent who loves their child, to help that child?
We have many resources for children of abuse, who do suffer from the abusive actions of a parent or someone older than they are. This is a good thing; this type of help has been needed for many years. I know as a product of a dysfunctional family and a child who did most definitely suffer from being abused by one of my parents and what I consider neglect by the other. I believe I could have benefited from such help and resources; however, I suffered through my own childhood abuse in silence, afraid of my father, afraid of that belt that brought bloody welts and always wondering why mother allowed it to happen–although she too was physically abused as well by my father.
My child does not know or understand what actual abuse is, although she will lose her temper and then attack my younger child or me. I do realize that one of the problems is because as an abused child, myself, I do not spank or paddle my children, when in hindsight perhaps I should have. I just wasn’t able to make my self do such damage to a child when all along, I feel as though all my parents had to do with me was to sit me down and talk to me about it. There was no real need for a quiet, shy and obedient child to be beaten into submission. I did not deserve the beatings I suffered through, although I suffered through it silently, afraid to ask for help, as a child not knowing where to turn for help.
I needed help at that time and my parents needed help. Now I find myself on another side of an ugly coin.
Where do I go as a parent of an abusive child to make a difference in my life and the lives of my children?
Where do I go in search of help that can benefit my abusive child?
I just called the sheriff’s office to find out if there was any type of support for parents that are abused by their children. I was hoping maybe there would be someone who may be able to teach me how to safely restrain my child. However, there is no such help way out here in the woods.
What Do I Do to Help my Child Not be Abusive?
Learning to control your temper is a personal thing; you cannot teach someone to control their temper, and you cannot make anyone control their temper. The ability to control one’s temper generally comes at a time when that someone has lost their temper and they realize that what they are about to do is the wrong thing, and they are able to stop short of whatever they’re doing that can cause even fatal damage to someone else.
Teenagers today, I suppose in some way, have a harder time than we did years ago, although I do think that is a poor excuse for the conduct of many teens today. It seems that the teenagers today have a major problem with a gang mentality. It seems that they are always pushing out their chests, swearing terribly and ready to "kick someone’s ass", simply because of any simple thing. Many teenagers today do truly need and deserve a severe attitude adjustment. You cannot just up and attack someone anytime you do not like something about someone else or especially when you are aware that there are rules to follow.
Where are all these boasting and pumped-up-for-ass-kicking teens going? What good do they get out of running their mouths, cursing, and then physically jumping on others and especially their parents. What happened to "honor your mother and father"?
Teens and children who are abusive need help. Those that they abuse need help! What are you to do when no one wants to talk about the subject of their child jumping on them and beating them up?
World, it is time to wake up!
There are children abusing their parents and they ALL need help!
Have you any answers for those children and teens that are becoming more abusive daily? Are there any answers for all those parents who have no idea how to help their children?
Parent Abuse is just as real as Child Abuse and ElderAbuse! We all need help and resources to work with to get help.
What do you do to help a child who loses their temper, attacks others and then wants to say that they are the ones being abused?
I for one absolutely refuse to be labeled an abusive parent when in all actually it is my child who is abusing her sibling and me, her mother!
* If you are a parent of an abusive child, it is time to speak up and make your voice heard! There is no shame in your situation, you and your child need help! Do what you can now to make the difference!
© 2009 Sara Valor
