First of all, decide HOW mellow the party is to be: is it to be held at someone’s house, or a guys’ night out? Perhaps a combination of the two?
Traditionally, the male version of the song “A Few of My Favorite Things” would actually be very different than the prim and sugary standard for women–probably a heavy metal version that’s a lot harder to rhyme. Sure, men like kittens too, but not in a manly group.
Men like food–and not necessarily fancy food, but food that is walk-up available all evening. They like beer. They like loud music. They like sports. They like to watch things get blown up. Especially in all-male groups, they like things that are suggestive and raunchy–or even if they don’t like them that much, they like to make a lot of noise about them.
If you’re the Best Man and it’s up to you to plan this party, this would be my recommendation:
Just to give the evening some class (and great photo-ops), I would check to see if there was a Moroccan restaurant within reasonable driving distance. Most Moroccan restaurants have belly-dancers, particularly on weekend nights. When you call to make a reservation for your party, try to speak to the manager–tell him what the occasion is and ask if one of the dancers would mind coming over to your table during one of her performances to single out the groom-to-be for just a minute or two–also remind him when you get there. Belly-dancing is a good choice, because it’s sensuous, colorful and fun, but not overtly erotic or indecent. Plan to leave a large tip.
Have the guys meet at the restaurant for dinner–not too early, about 8 pm. (Do not forget your camera!) After a nice meal topped off by having the bachelor-of-the-night shimmied and jingled around, adjourn to your home (or whoever has the most centrally-located home) for the evening, where all the remaining components will be waiting:
Music: the favorites of your crowd, at a decibel level that still allows you to talk over it and prevents the neighbors from calling the police at 10 pm.
There’s a TV show called “Destroyed in Seconds.” It features brief clips of car crashes, hydroplane flips, explosions, Evil-Knieval-type stunts gone wrong–usually without tragic consequences so you don’t have to feel bad. If you could record a couple of hours of this show, or Tivo them (it’s only a 30-minute show), it could play on your big-screen and give everybody something to talk or groan about, without having to turn down your music!
Beer. If you’re having alcohol, beer is the best bet for a longer evening. Hard liquor is not only more expensive to host, it will make too many too sorry too soon. Also provide a generous assortment of soda pop–or all soda pop if your evening is alcohol-free. If you ARE having alcohol, make sure your guest bed is ready, and assemble any sleeping bags and extra blankets and pillows for couch-sleeping in the guest room–if you’re prepared like this ahead, you won’t have to take a chance on letting someone drive who’s had a little too much. Or, if there’s a non-drinker in the crowd, perhaps he could provide end-of-evening taxi service. Have a plan.
Food: yes, you will have just come home from dinner. It doesn’t matter. Men like to nosh their way through the evening. If you’re able to prepare it ahead on your own, do so–or enlist your wife, girlfriend, or sister. About an hour after arriving at the home, make available on the kitchen counter or a table against a wall so that the cord won’t be yanked on, a crock-pot full of either little-smokie sausages or cocktail-sized frozen meatballs (feel them inside the bag, they should be about quarter-sized in diameter, not large dinner-sized) brought to serving temperature (nuke the meatballs before putting in the crockpot to thaw them), either in barbecue sauce OR a sauce made by melting equal portions of chili sauce (in the ketchup aisle) and grape jelly together in a saucepan, fabulously tangy-sweet. (These can be kept heating on low temperature while you’re at dinner.) Be sure to have napkins and toothpicks on hand for easy eating (many party stores have “bachelor party” themed napkins and paper plates.) A veggie-and-dip tray from the grocery store, corn chips and salsa, and/or bowls of your favorite chips. (It’s also a great idea at about the two-hour mark, to heat one or two pre-buttered, foil-wrapped loaves of garlic bread in the oven , bring them out and slice them up–not only tasty, but cuts the beer effect.)
If your group is into poker (even some of them), a small table with cards and poker chips is a great idea in case anyone is in the mood. Just squeeze it into a corner and let them take it or leave it.
At an appropriately auspicious moment, a platter of chocolate “Breast of Venus” cupcakes (this is the classiest name I could think of for them), frosted in a flesh tone with pink “nipples” will get a good laugh and provide another photo op, but they’ll need to be done perhaps a day ahead. (Or farther ahead and frozen–unthaw the afternoon of the party.) There is a pan available to provide the appropriate shape, at http://www.wilton.com/store/site/product.cfm?sku=2105-3020 for $12.99. It can be recycled for other bachelor parties within your group of friends, or on Craigslist later. You’ll need one or more chocolate (it’s the most-common favorite, but use your choice) cake mixes–spray the pan forms with Pam–and make the cake mix or mixes according to the package instructions. Fill the forms in the pan about ½” from the top. Bake about 15-20 minutes at 350°, then wait 10 minutes and turn out of pan (this is important–don’t let them cool in the pan, they’ll get stuck.) When cool, frost with canned frosting colored by mixing well with a bit of chocolate for the flesh tone, and food coloring for–you know, at the top. A plate of these IS raunchy, but in a goofy way, so it’s more funny than offensive. (If you want something offensive, check your local listings for an erotic bakery.)
This plan should give you an evening of fun with some naughty highlights and some great pictures for later!
02.07.09
