After months of planning, the moment of my wedding day that brought it home to me that it was really here and happening now, was opening the box containing my bouquets, corsages and boutonnieres. The combined “florist-shop” fragrances of a variety of fresh blooms and greenery wafted up and crystallized the moment for me: these flowers were for me; they would only live for just this day, and this day was my wedding day.
So I have to say that I didn’t start out with an open mind when it came to thinking about the alternative of silks as my two daughters began planning weddings at almost the same time–I was definitely prejudiced towards fresh florals, almost at any cost. I wanted them to have "that moment."
However, my wedding day was a really long time ago, and to be honest, artificial flowers were really not a consideration back then–because they bore little resemblance to the “silk” (more often polyester) flowers of today. Note: I am not referring to dollar-store blooms or low-end “silks.” I’m talking about the top-of-the-line silks blooming proudly among their lower-priced sisters in craft shops and fabric stores.
What this means is, a truly realistic-looking artificial stem may actually cost MORE than a live stem of the real thing. Still, you have to consider what you want and what’s the best way to get it. When you buy fresh flowers, you not only pay a huge markup (a couple of hundred percent) by the florist per stem, you also pay a premium price for the creative skills of a florist, as well as their business overhead. As one would expect, if they’re a “big name” florist, you’re going to pay even more. If you or someone you know is or has been a florist or simply has a way with flowers, you can still save substantially with silks.
If, like one of my daughters, one of your top wedding priorities is fresh flowers, you’ve already answered all your own questions.
If you’re on a budget and really have your heart set on fresh flowers, is there a florist among your friends and family, who might do your flowers for a token fee above the price of their cost at the local floral wholesale houses? If not, check Craigslist for florists working out of their homes; they will want to meet with you to discuss what you want–bring pictures of arrangements and bouquets you like. And likewise, they should have pictures of wedding flowers they have done to show you. If you’re just not sold on their style in general (too modern, too old-fashioned, unskilled, whatever), politely say you’ll get back to them when you have a complete idea of what you need–and then get a “second opinion” in spite of their assurance that they can make a bouquet “just like” the picture you’re showing them.
Roses have always said romance and luxury, so they’re a very popular wedding choice. If you’re wanting fresh roses in volume for simple-but-elegant bundles in vases centering your dining tables as well as for your bouquets, I would definitely go with ordering them in advance through a (licensed) Craigslist florist who is willing acquire them at wholesale in exchange for your business making up your bouquets, etc. Or, Costco (online) can also reliably pre-order volume quantities of roses (order them far in advance, however).
Beware of “growers’ co-ops” on the internet who operate out of South America, who offer a jaw-dropping quantity of roses for a few hundred dollars–and they offer an amazing assortment, as well. We used ‘BigRose.com’ for my daughter’s wedding. We ordered and paid for the roses 4 months in advance. They called us a few days before the wedding to tell us “sorry, but we will not have the exact shade of red” we had paid for, so were sending a mix of similar shades. They stopped speaking English when we protested. We quickly realized that, so close to the wedding, that we couldn’t get this quantity from anywhere else in time (and certainly not for the money), so we decided that mixing dark reds would have to do. Imagine our shock when they sent not only mixed reds, but hot pink and peach–for an all-red wedding! We had relatives combing every Costco and grocery store in town–and because of this unplanned-for scurrying, we DID make up most of the difference in quantity–but additionally, the South American roses, which were supposed to be thornless, arrived with as many thorns as petals–HUGE, rainforest-caliber thorns!–and thus took a far, far longer time–requiring each stem and thorn to be shaved down before they could be made into bouquets–than the time we had allowed–and we had tried to overestimate. It all turned out beautiful, but the florist among us had punctured, bloody, inflamed hands. Back to that reliable old expression, “If it seems too good to be true–it probably is.” (You’d think we might have recourse, but my bank refused to pursue the matter because the seller did have a Fed-Ex receipt showing that goods were delivered.)
Consider your venue: if it already has a few silk arrangements, are they “neutral” enough in color that you could add some fresh or silk blossoms in your desired colors? Or is it possible that they have enough “other” décor in place that there’s almost noplace to put a large arrangement–would it just make things look cluttered? Or perhaps your ceremony is in a lovely and well-planted garden. No need for big formal arrangements there. In front of a fancy fireplace in winter or in the evening? Maybe a beautiful layout of lighted candles on the mantel would be more romantic or unusual than the traditional stands of floral arrangements on either side.
If any of the above décor situations are true for your venue, then whether you want fresh flowers or silks, you have probably just cut a major chunk off your floral expenditures by simply eliminating the typical display-sized wedding arrangements.
Consider your climate. Fresh flowers are delicate. They are NOT going to do well, indoors or out, on an extremely hot summer day. Instead of looking elegant, they can drop their heads or turn brown around the edges. Or they quickly progress through their entire life cycle at warp speed, such as the roses at my daughter’s wedding, which went from buds to cabbages to falling apart like potpourri by the end. The groomsmen confessed that they had felt like they were wearing corsages instead of boutonnieres. The roses were kept in water in a cool basement while they were being prepared, and the outside temperature was 75°–warm, but not sweltering. At another recent wedding where the temperature soared to 90°, hundreds of dollars’ worth of sophisticated calla lilies lost their elegance when they began to take on the semi-transparent look of steamed vegetables. And the flip side of the coin is equally true: one 10-minute blast of air approaching freezing will give you shriveled petal edges and have the stems going limp. Remember, even for silks: raindrops can mean waterspots. Keep them securedly covered in transport on a day that threatens rain. (If you do silk flowers ahead, pick up a few plastic garment covers from your dry cleaner and cut them open to they lay flat–and cover large arrangements to guard against dust and have them ready for transport. Smaller pieces–bouquets, etc.–can slip inside them without cutting them open. The dry-cleaner plastic doesn’t stick to itself like kitchen wrap, and is weightless.)
Consider forever-after: you can have your fresh bouquet freeze-dried or silica-gel dried. However, you will have to have someone stick around after your wedding to deliver it with the urgency of an organ-transplant team to the preserving party so they can preserve what freshness it still has. If it works. It doesn’t always work, and it works better for some colors than others. And it costs hundreds of dollars. Some brides don’t care–obviously, flowers wilt, so why worry about it? It has even been said that part of the beauty of flowers is that they ARE so transitory, and DO die, that their beauty is so fleeting. But if you want a keepsake that went down the aisle with you and will be lovely for years to come, there are silks. (My “all-roses” daughter had her small “toss” bouquet and an exact replica of her bouquet made in silks. If doing fresh, consider having a silk duplicate of your bouquet made–far less fragile and several hundred dollars cheaper than professional preservation.) There are many a mother or grandmother who is wistful that each generation seems to be a little bigger than the last and most often cannot wear a cherished (but there’s always a silver lining–also possibly heinously ugly) heirloom dress–but if a breathtakingly fresh-looking “heirloom” silk bouquet were to be loosed from a fancy hatbox full of packing peanuts, it might well go down the aisle again.
If you are open to the idea of using silks, and budget is part of the reason, you may now be wondering why you should consider them if they can cost as much per stem. One reason, if you and a group of friends and family are pulling this wedding together, is TIME: when is the biggest “crunch time?” The Big Day, of course. So, consider “before”: fresh flowers are a big undertaking, and have to be done the day of the wedding–or at the earliest, the day before. Silks can be done months ahead. (If your heart is still set on fresh, do try to find a reasonably-priced person outside your core “help team”–such as a Craigslist person, etc.–because then at least you won’t be taking hands away from your many other preparation tasks for the flowers.)
Buying silk flowers: just like fashion always hits the stores a season ahead of time (bikinis in January, wool coats in August), silk florals are ordered up on a seasonal basis as well. So several months before your wedding date, do some serious researching together with your “florals” person, and decide on exactly the type and colors of flowers you’d like–starting with bouquets. Find a photo of a bouquet you like, and count out the approximate number of stems it has, in each variety of flowers. Then figure out something similar but smaller that matches or complements your own bouquet, for the bridesmaids, and count the stems for those. If you have determined that you will need large arrangements, add 7 of the “key” blossoms in the “key” color for each large arrangement to this purchase to mix in later, plus one more for the groom’s boutonniere (the corsages and remaining boutonnieres are smarter done in ivory or white–for mothers and grandmothers, so that you won’t have to worry about what color they’ll wear, and for the men so that your groom stands out with his color-matched boutonniere–so the corsage and boutonnieres, and remaining ‘large arrangement’ stems can wait for another day.)
Head out on a flower-seeking expedition (this may take several trips), and when you find exactly what you’re looking for, buy it all at once. You’ll be tempted to buy just a bouquet’s worth and take it home for experimenting, with the idea of returning later if it works out. Remember, there’s a good chance the shop will not be getting in any more of the flowers it’s now showing, and that there are many, many brides and florists doing the same thing. So buy enough of what you want most, right when you see it. This would be a good purchase to make on a credit card if cash flow is a problem–so it can all be returned (except for anything you’ve cut) if your prototype turns out to be disappointing.
Similar research of styles, arrangement shapes, color mixes, etc., and purchase excursions, can then be made for your larger arrangements (think longer stems such as gladioli, stock, delphiums, eucalyptus branches, etc., for the back stems, which need to be longer) and another separate trip for your corsage and boutonniere blossoms (think tight tea-sized rosebuds and other small posies for the corsages–or one larger bloom with a smaller bud at its side; and full size, VERY realistic tight rosesbuds for the boutonnieres.)
For DIY weddings, silk is by far the smartest choice. Never skimp on silks by buying less than the best-quality, most realistic stems, even for filler flowers and greenery. Never choose flowers that don’t come that way in nature: regardless of their quality, royal blue roses and burgundy hydrangeas scream “clearance table at the craft store.” Also, resist any urge to artificially “scent” them, as the scents are far too strong (and sometimes not right on the mark), so that even used sparingly, they will call attention to the fact that your flowers are not real. If your wedding color is something unmatched in nature, choose ivories and whites (or an accent color such as peach or yellow that complements your main color), then pick up the main color in the ribbon wrapping the stems or a few loops of ribbon (not enough to be a bow) tucked in among the flowers in bouquets, or a luxuriant florist-style bow tucked or colored candles worked into centerpieces or large arrangements (be wise and cover open candles with glass hurricanes or votive holders). Can’t find the exact shade in a color of silks to match a particular fabric? Pick a range of almost-matching shades, and mix; the eye will see them as matching, and also, even among natural blooms from the same plant there can be slight variations in color.
Booklets or online-instruction for basic floral construction are available to help you feel confident that your flowers are being put together using professional techniques–or sign up for an inexpensive lesson or series of lessons at a craft store.
The 3 main visual components that guests will notice and remember, and which will stand out in your photos, are: dresses, cake and flowers. Whether using silk or fresh, avoid the obvious pitfalls of either, and approach your wedding day knowing that they are already done or that they are reliably in the hands of a competent party. You’ll still catch your breath when you see them all together.
12.23.08
