Children have a trusting nature, it’s true; they see the natural goodness in people but, unfortunately, we can all sometimes be deceived by someone’s intentions. Even though we all come into this world believing only the best will come to us and that everyone is our friend, it becomes necessary at some point to realize that everyone on the planet does not have our best interests at heart, no matter how much we’d like to think they do. So how do we keep our most precious resources - our children - safe, in a society where bad things sometimes happen to good people through no fault of their own? Common sense safety precautions may seem obvious, but when children disappear or are injured every day, it’s more obvious than ever that the precautions need to be reviewed. Here are some tips to help your family be more safety conscious - at home and away.
Safety is a topic every family member needs to be aware of, regardless of age. Take a look around your house - do you have any obvious safety hazards such as cords across the floor, knives on counters, open electrical outlets, broken windows? Even if just the corner of a window is cracked, it can cause serious injury if that glass gets pressed on and broken). Store chemicals out of reach of small hands; make sure all doors and cabinets are secure, installing hooks or latches to keep them closed when not in use. Never allow your child to abuse the security or safety measures in place in your home; if they play with the phone and call 911 because they think it will be funny, explain how this could prevent the police from helping someone else who really needed them.
Take inventory right now of any possible safety concerns; write them on a list so you will be able to address them, because it’s never too early to start teaching children about safety in the home. If you have small children, ask extended family members you might be visiting from time to time to work with you in creating safe home and away environments; create a communication plan in the event of an emergency and make sure your children have contact numbers with them at all times; and that their caregivers have the same contact information. If your child carries a cell phone, make sure the contact numbers are entered correctly and the child knows how to access them.
Teach the basics of home safety first, such as do not answer the phone or open the door when you are not there with them (and, preferably, never leave children under 11 or 12 home alone - no matter what anyone says - they are still children!). Show them what is okay to touch and what is not okay to touch and explain why; be patient with them and they will understand what you are talking about. Give them a responsibility to help you "keep the whole family safe," like having them do their own inspection and to come tell you if they see exposed outlets for example; then you can insert an outlet protector and praise the child for their good work. Teach them what to look for - safely. You can make keeping your home safe fun by using a little creativity.
Sometimes you can teach younger children life lessons through playing with them; use cars and trucks to teach about safety on the streets (why you should use sidewalks if available, look before crossing the street, use crosswalk, etc.). Use dolls or animal toys to teach about interacting with people. Take your children to visit the police station and fire station - have the police and firemen talk about what they do and how they help people; enroll your children in self-defense classes; some schools, churches, and libraries may offer workshops you can attend together. Remember the power of reading to your children; reading helps create a bond of love and trust; as your child’s comprehension grows, you can read more serious material to them (there are excellent books in libraries and book stores that deal with life issues written at a level children can understand).
Older children may not be impressed with activities they deem immature (playing with dolls or toy trucks), but they still need to know about possible dangers around the home and in the community. Once children enter school, they enter a whole new arena for exposure to safety hazards. Teach them self-discipline and respect for others, so it will be easier for them to follow the rules at school and other places they might go. Visit their school with them; talk with the teacher about how safety is incorporated into the curriculum so that you can use similar techniques at home. Start or participate in a Neighborhood Watch program; contact your local police department to learn how. Teach your children to be aware of their surroundings at all times. At a friend’s home or at school, they still need to be aware of anything that’s out of the ordinary, such as behavior changes in their friend’s parents (use of alcohol, arguing in front of the kids, unusual visitors, strange behavior, even strange smells and changes in housekeeping). Be aware of new people in the area; is that person hanging around the edge of the playground a parent or teacher or guardian of children playing there? Are they relating to anyone? How are they acting? Are they approaching children or offering gifts? Additionally, be aware of what your children are exposed to at school or other public places; pay attention to your child’s comments concerning a teacher’s behavior or other things that might alert you to potential risk or concern, and don’t hesitate to speak to a school administrator about your concerns. If you suspect your child is in danger, take them out of the situation immediately and do not let them return until you are confident they are safe; if you and/or your child is in danger in your own home, call or go to the police immediately or as soon as safely possible.
Don’t be afraid to supervise your children. Acknowledge and accept your responsibility as your child’s parent. YOU are the parent! This means you get no days off from being concerned and engaged in your child’s activities. Some parents allow their children to play outside unsupervised or to go unescorted to other people’s homes. Realize that no toddler or young child should be allowed to play outside without supervision. The dog is not your babysitter, and older siblings should not have total responsibility to watch the younger ones. Although they may be aware of the younger children, they will most likely be engaged in their own activities. Just because a babysitter is 15 years old (or 12 or 14 or 16 or 25), do not assume that he or she is totally adept at childcare; teenagers are still like children in many ways and they are not worldly enough to know how to deal with everything that could potentially come along - it’s not criticism to recognize that – just make sure you have confidence in your childcare providers, whatever their age. All it takes is 30 seconds with no one watching for trips, falls, or other injuries to occur.
Be aware of where your children are at all times. Just because they can go to the bathroom on their own doesn’t mean they should be allowed to run about the neighborhood alone. Current society is too lax about what’s acceptable for children to do on their own. If you allow your children to go to other people’s houses unsupervised, make sure you know that when they get there, who will be there with them, and have them let you know when they are leaving to come home. If you know where they are, you will have peace of mind. Teach your children that brave people seek help, that it takes courage to seek help if they are scared. Sometimes children think they will get in trouble or don’t want to get someone else in trouble by asking for help. Tell them it’s okay - in fact, you want them to go to a trusted adult if they feel frightened for any reason. While trusting, children are also sensitive to negative intentions - if they are afraid of someone, find out why and do something about it before it’s too late. If it turns out to be nothing, you can comfort them and let them know they did the right thing. Never let your child think you will be angry with them for seeking help in any way. Insist on knowing who your children are with at all times; until they are old enough to take care of themselves completely, you should always be able to answer the question, "Where are your children?" This will keep you from ever having to regret not asking where they were going or who they were with.
The truth about strangers is that they are strangers – people unknown to you. Most of us have heard the advice, "Don’t talk to strangers." This is as applicable now as ever, perhaps more so. Children and young adults are bombarded with information from all sorts of places. Invest in good home security measures both physically and online. Make sure your children know what is safe online and show them how to know when electronic communications are unsafe. If they don’t know the sender, they should not respond to e-mail or chat requests. As the parent, you should maintain control - at least peripherally - of all online activity. Your children are your responsibility and because you love them you want them to stay safe; you are not invading their "privacy" when you monitor their behavior. Refuse to let your adolescent’s sensitivity to your "prying into their life" stop you from checking up on them when they go out; if they are gone too long at a party, call them and make sure they’re all right. Create a phrase or word code for your child to use when they want you to come get them; for example, if they become uncomfortable at a friend’s house, they can call you and give you the code phrase (this is for unusual situations - even if the child just wants to come home, they should feel comfortable telling you that).
Don’t expect children to have mental and emotional maturity at the same level you do; it’s impossible for them to know exactly how all situations will unfold; if you ask them, "Don’t you know what will happen if you —-?" they won’t be able to answer you; instead of getting angry or frustrated, talk to them in a way they can understand without belittling them.
And finally, In a world that seems to be moving ever faster, where children seem to grow up faster and faster, just stop and let them be children for a while: they - and you - will never have this time again. Don’t push them to be more than they have to be - they will grow and develop as nature intended - so let them be children as long as possible.
