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Dating is an antiquated word that the Net Generation (A.K.A. Generation Y or Z) NEVER UTTER. Those in their twenties, thirties and younger usually call it, “Hooking up.”
First the word courtship disappeared back in the 1920’s—then the terms; dating, seeing each other, keeping company and dozens of other descriptive expressions for two people falling for each other become part of the ever changing syntax of our vocabulary.
No matter what society calls two people seeking one another’s affection, one constant remains—confusion rules our love lives.
Different cultures around the world have many different accepted practices:
What age is acceptable to begin dating?
- How should two people behave in a relationship?
- The maximum age difference between two lovers.
- For instance: Filipinos actually prefer husbands who are many years their senior, because such men are perceived as more mature, less promiscuous, and financially stable.
- That’s just to name a few. But since I live in the good old U.S.A. we’ll take a look at our distorted dance of love. First there is a common misconception among many Americans that the federal legal age of consent is 18 years old, but in most states it is in fact below 18. Let me add for the record that I believe a consenting adult should be at least 18 years old and in most cases 21, the legal age that one can consume alcohol—a substance often used to promote romantic endeavors.
- Now most generation Netters, X or Y , argue that at the age of 18 they can vote, serve on a jury, be drafted, smoke, fornicate, start a family, buy weapons, sign a legal contract and be sent to an adult prison so therefore they should be able to drink. Congress passed the National Minimum Purchase Age Act in 1984. The reason cited was that a twenty-one year old person was considered more mature than the average eighteen year-old. I can honestly say I have met some forty year old people that should be considered under-age using that criteria.
- This brings me to the point of this discourse: Our perception of what is acceptable has always been diametrically opposed to our personal choices when it comes to relationships. The average age of a Supermodel is 16 to 17 years old and many of them are in the age group of 14 to 19 years old. We look at these stunning people as icons of fashion and examples of what sexy is supposed to look like yet too young to desire. Even an eighteen year old man that dates—I mean, “Hooks up with”— a girl that’s younger than seventeen in many States is considered a criminal. My own mother was fifteen when she met my father, who was almost nineteen at the time. Was he a Sugar-Daddy and my Mom a Sugar-Babe? Okay, that’s a poor example but you get my drift.
- Our society often frowns on this women they call Cougars and the men they deem to be Sugar-Daddies. I admit it’s kind of creepy when a person “Hooks-up” with a mate that could be their son or daughters age (or even younger!) but if they are two consenting adults—what’s the big deal?
- The real problem is how we are raising our children and the media that perpetuates the myths that we seem to love so much—Prince Charming and Cinderella type stories that always end happily-ever-after.
- Why not promote the notion of courtship in all friendships and relationships? Imagine actually getting to know another human being for their thoughts and morals first before any sexual contact or long-term friendship is established. I think that would cut the divorce rate and cut down on the amount of dysfunctional relationships (and acts to appear on the so-called reality talk shows!) So next time you come across a married or committed couple who love each other and she is old enough to be his mother or young enough to be his daughter perhaps before you judge their relationship think about which is better. Two people who were infatuated with each other—had sex—then are miserable. Or two people that have so much in common—spiritually,creatively and intellectually that age meant nothing to them? When I ask most parents I know these questions they answer, "I would never want my son or daughter to be with an older mate." I then ask: What if your daughter was dating Mel Gibson (or another good-looking "A" list celebrity) and most answer, "Well that’s different!" See the hypocrisy.
Here are some celebrity relationships and their age differences.
- James Woods and Ashley Madison - 39 Years Difference
- Billy Joel and Katie Lee Joel - 32 Years Difference
- Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas - 25 Years Difference
- Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart - 22 Years Difference
- Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher - 15 Years Difference
Please respond to this Factoid with your thoughts on this topic.
