There are as many ways of throwing a cocktail party as there are reasons to have them: they may be in celebration of something (birthday, engagement, retirement, etc.) or for that most legitimate reason of all–to simply enjoy your friends.
The basic essentials of a cocktail party are:
- Beverages, of course
- Cocktail glassware
- Music
- Snacks/hors d’oevres
- A harmonious mix of guests
- A theme, if desired
Beverages. Decide ahead if you want to provide a relatively “full” bar or if it will be limited to the liquors that you and your friends most commonly drink. Vodka, rum (plain and/or spiced), gin, and a bourbon of relatively good quality (if you find someone’s date is a Scotch drinker, they can pinch-hit with bourbon, but will be sensitive to the nuances of the taste) make up a very simple “full” bar. If tequila is popular within your group, add it to the list. If, for example, vodka and rum are far and away the most popular liquors among this group of guests (so that you may provide gin only to find it left unopened), certainly do pick up back-up bottles of vodka and rum only–but put them away, out of sight. You should also have a bottle of red and of white wine on hand, and some beer for the die-hard men who must have their beer. Provide a general variety of mixers–7-up, Coke, Diet Coke, Tonic Water, orange and cranberry juices.
Jumping the gun a bit on themed parties, if your group is currently enjoying Mojitos, call it a “Mojito Meet-up” instead of a “Cocktail Party” on the invitations and limit your alcoholic offering to rum and Mojito fixings. Or a “Cosmo Klatsch”–same idea. Not only will you not have to purchase a larger variety of liquors for a full bar, but the drinks can be made ahead in pitcher-sized batches, and you will have a ready-made color scheme to augment with paper goods from a party store, to theme your party visually. A specialty punch such as the currently-popular Pomegranate Mimosa, makes a lovely, colorful focal point in place of a bar, and punch bowls just tend to be fun. (Have some ginger ale on hand to mix in place of champagne for non-drinkers.) To keep your punch cold without diluting it, use a jello mold filled 2/3 with the fruit-juice of choice, frozen then unmolded by running under warm water on the mold side of the ring, and slipped into ziplock bags. One or two of these in the freezer should get you through a party. About punch: it goes down easy, possibly way TOO easy. If it has a heavy alcohol content, tone it down a bit. Keep an eye on who’s tossing them back like Kool-Aid–they could need a ride home. And when the punch bowl is half empty, replenish it with little or no further alcohol; by then nobody will notice.
Whether you’re going for a fuller-type bar or a “signature-cocktail” party, little cocktail niceties are a delight to your guests and add a tone of hospitality and bar-quality drinks. Keep a filled ice bucket at your bar area, with tongs, and refill as necessary. If your cocktails require salt or sugar around the rim, have the appropriate plastic container open at the bar and ready for dipping. Provide olives and maraschino cherries, and picks (frilly or not) on which to skewer them; pre-cut lemons and limes; a small bottle of Grenadine so that a non-drinker can still have a pretty “mocktail”; festive swizzle sticks; ridiculous paper umbrellas, etc. Party stores often have large varieties of humorous cocktail napkins, and these should be displayed and available at the bar and some other central area, such as a coffee table. Scatter plenty of coasters around. Switch out your dignified punch bowl for a lighted plastic party fountain. Anything that ups the “festivity quotient” of the party will make more of an occasion out of it, and make the guests feel genuinely welcome and prepared-for.
One way to extend the hospitality of your cocktail party while still enjoying the party yourself, is to set up a self-service bar area in a visible, easily-accessible spot. When your guests arrive (and if necessary have their coats/purses dispensed with), offer to fix them a drink, with the caveat, “I’ll mix your first one, after that you’re on your own.” This will let them know they’re welcome to help themselves rather than sitting around with an empty glass for 40 minutes waiting for you and/or your partner to offer to fix them another. Note: as the host, you’ll need to keep an eye on any guests getting too happy too fast–not only do you not want something tragic to happen to one your friends when they leave, but in many states you can be legally held liable for damages.
Cocktail glassware. You may have some already; if not, you may want to get some or add to what you have, borrowing from close friends or relatives. If you need a certain number of a particular type of glass, they can be rented from a party rental store for 40-50 cents apiece. Unless this is a huge event, avoid plastic glassware; nothing says “cocktail party” like the sound of ice clinking in glasses, and nothing deflates the party value of a drink usually served in a stemmed glass, than being served in a tumbler.
Music. Plan ahead and make it just right. Heavy metal and hard rock should be left to their natural habitats, the frat party and the kegger (are those actually two different things?) This is background music in your home, setting a mood of whatever you like, low enough to talk over, and just loud enough to keep secrets. Like your drapes and pillows on your couch, the music is a reflection of your taste. The idea is to get enough CD’s or IPOD/laptop hours lined up so that you don’t have to change anything more than once in the course of an evening. Be sure to set your player on “shuffle” so that nobody has to endure too much of something they don’t like all at once. Classic cocktail? Think Sinatra, Harry Connick, Jr., Michael Bublé, Dean Martin, Etta Fitzgerald, Billie Holliday, Ingrid Lucia and the Flying Neutrinos. Classy blues? Norah Jones, Robert Cray, Eric Clapton. Classic hip? Sting. And use lighting to create a cozy, intimate mood: Light the fire. Scatter some twinkling candles around, but place them carefully out of easy reach, and use containers that mostly cover the flame, to cut the chances of burns and knock-overs. If your dining room light isn’t on a dimmer switch, consider installing one– it’s inexpensive, and can be dimmed just enough to take off the harsh edge. Turn on only strategic lamps. If you use them to read the newspaper by, consider putting in a smaller-wattage bulb for your party.
Snacks/hors d’oevres. Not only high on the hospitality list, your selection of cocktail appetizers also serves double-duty as a safeguard against the inevitable guest who did NOT eat dinner before coming, and helps hold the line between “happy” and “hammered.” Be sure to have an ample supply of cocktail-sized plates (they can be paper, but should be sturdy) and paper napkins on hand for this “finger food buffet.” Set an attractive “spread” on your dining table, including the low-maintenance but always-loved chips and dips and/or veggies and dips (set the timer on your microwave for 1.5 hours, reminding you to change out the dips for fresh–nobody will be impressed by your party if they end up getting sick). Provide at least one warm and meaty hors d’oevre, such as meatballs or cocktail sausages in a savory sauce or bamboo-skewered, peanut chicken satay or teriyaki chicken bites with picks–or cold jumbo shrimp with cocktail sauce on the side. A variety platter of cheese slices (add brie and/or sliced salami if you like), with a basket or bowl of crackers. A salmon-and-cream-cheese paté log might sit on the other side of the crackers. Make Tomatoes Caprese bamboo skewers with tiny grape tomatoes and bites of soft mozzarella sprinkled with fresh basil leaves and drizzled with olive oil. Stores now have a good variety of frozen hors d’oevres, from your old friends the Pizza Rolls (everybody still loves them–baked, not microwaved) to coconut shrimp, mini quiches and bite-sized pastries filled with a variety of savory fillings.
Set out your basics–the chips/veggies with dip; the warm meaty bites (if serving from a crockpot, push the table against the wall to prevent the variations on the theme of tripping on the cord–if you have a chafing dish, this is the time to use it); the cheeses and crackers; and leave room for interchangeable trays of pre-frozen, oven-heated goodies. Keep them coming periodically, but not necessarily constantly.
Guest Mix. You wouldn’t trade your friends for anyone. And you’d almost think you couldn’t lose by inviting them all–after all, they already have liking YOU in common, so how could you pick a more likely group to enjoy each other? But think about it: does your sleek fashionista girlfriend who works in an art gallery have any common ground with your sweet, good-natured couple friends who are comfortably overweight, and whose passion is recycling–including the clothes they’ll be wearing that night? Will your slightly angry feminist friend make catty remarks about your sister’s best friend who is insecure and gains courage from showing off too much of her best feature–her cleavage? Will friends with strong political or religious views begin pushing their agenda after the 2nd drink? And although everyone has known for years that There’s Nothing Wrong With That, will your husband’s brother remain seated on the couch when the gay couple sit down? Is there a small group of your friends that is already a clique, possibly from work? If so, will they break formation and interface with others?
Unfortunately, unless you have a huge home and a correspondingly huge circle of friends where differing groups can comfortably form up, a cocktail party is generally a small and intimate gathering–and accordingly, this requires you to Fish or Cut Bait when it comes to determining the guest list. Oddly, people will tend to try harder to come together when a party is for a purpose–an engagement, a birthday, graduation, retirement. But for just a flat-out cocktail party, as painful as it may seem, you need to give some thought to which of your friends will best complement whom. That’s the bad news. The good news is, you’re a grownup–so you CAN have a party excluding some friends, with a very low likelihood that they will never find out–and invite that group to a separate function later.
Themes. Themes can be dismissed as juvenile, but there’s no denying that throwing yourself into a theme for your party will ramp up the festivity hugely. Perhaps it’s retro–I have a group of loyal friends, many of whom used to be strangers, but are now well acquainted, who anticipate our annual Retro Cocktail-Hat Party. Each year’s party centers around one “endangered” retro cocktail –and the food, décor, serving pieces, glassware and, of course, hats all hail from the 1930’s to 1950’s, with some cheating tolerated as long as it’s fun. The only requirement is that the guests do wear a retro cocktail hat. However, each year somebody raises the bar, and now we have people who would be the first to spray-paint a fur stole on a Hollywood actress, dragging their grandmother’s mink out of mothballs to flounce around in it at this event, with a 50’s highball glass in their hand. Gloves are not uncommon. The costume jewelry is to die from, not for. And these are serious, professional people.
Minor holidays can become a Major Deal if given the opportunity–Mardi Gras, with its plentiful décor, purple-green-and-gold colors, and piles of glittering plastic beads (and its general reputation for debauchery) is a particularly festive one. The invitation should require Mardi Gras attire (and for those that ignore it or don’t know where to find it, you can inexpensively provide sequined masks and again, did I mention, piles of beads?) New Orleans jazz would be the music of choice. Make a golden champagne punch with white grape juice. A crockpot of Jumbalaya (Google “Zatarain’s Jumbalaya” for authentic Cajun seasonings without having to buy each of them separately, and “cheat” with Minute Rice); some frozen-from-the-store crabcake appetizers hot from the oven–and slices of “golden” cheddar cheese surrounding a succulent clump of purple grapes, with crackers on the side. Make your own King Cake (if you’re not in Louisiana, you don’t have to have an authentic recipe, just use any cake mix)–better yet, King CUPcakes would be more fun, in gold cupcake cups with green or purple colored sugar sprinkled on top–with a rubber infant in the middle of only one, determining the King. If a gal should get it, I’m sure there’s a protocol for that, but–why not make up your own?
Valentine’s Day. You know the deal here. Cosmopolitans or red wine, in fact red everything. Perky red (and/or pink/, and/or white) tulips are inexpensively in-season. Offset all the red with pink and white. Candlelight. Torch music; love songs. For food, a 6-oz. brick of cream cheese allowed to soften on a large white plate, then generously covered with crabmeat or salad-sized shrimp (broken is okay) and topped with bright red cocktail sauce (or even salsa, if you prefer), make a beautifully focal coffee-table appetizer; it is served by slicing a narrow slab with a spreader knife, to be plopped with its surrounding seafood and sauce, onto a light-colored cracker. Other appetizers are rectangular slices of Danish ham(sometimes simply called "cooked ham," in the lunchmeat section of grocery stores–it comes about 4” X 6” in size), spread with cream cheese–use two layers of ham and cream cheese–then roll up and cut into one-inch lengths; serve standing on their cut edges, pretty pink and white pinwheels. Cherry tomatoes (NOT the teeny-tiny “grape” variety) can be scooped out filled with a very finely-chopped chicken salad–just chicken, celery, BARELY enough mayonnaise to hold it together, and salt and pepper). Cover a slice of summer sausage with a slice of havarti cheese, and place on a light-colored cracker; fill a tray with these very basic but pink-and-white snackers. Buy refrigerated thin-crust pizza dough; cut with a 3-4” cookie cutter into heart-shaped pizzas (not TOO small); cover with pizza sauce, mozzarella cheese and one slice of small pizza-style pepperoni in the center (if you have the time, you can make a heart out of that pepperoni slice, too). Bake on oil-sprayed cookie sheets for 10 mins. at 375°. (Make in advance and slightly underbake, then warm in oven to serve.) Running out of time? Use the same ingredients to make a couple of large pizzas, trimming the dough into heart shapes–bake & serve. And don’t forget a pristine white bowl full of nature’s own plump, happy "hearts"–fresh strawberries. Do make a point to discuss a possible Valentine’s Day party in advance–because unless you’re simply using the Valentine theme and having your party on the weekend before or after, that actual evening is often one that couples have often made plans to spend together.
Cinco de Maio might call for taco meat warming in a crockpot, with taco-fixings creating a taco bar in place of hors d’oevres, salsa and chips naturally, and the appearance of a large platter (think large pizza pan or cookie sheet) of nachos to appear from the oven a couple of times during the evening; homemade guacamole is a much-welcomed accompaniment. Frozen margaritas are a snap to mix up ahead by mixing tequila with a prepared margarita mix from the grocery or liquor store–it will freeze to a lovely slush in freezer, ready to ladle into glasses. At this time of year, party stores will have Mexican décor items and inexpensive sombreros. If you have a woven Mexican blanket, hang it up. Fill a piñata with silly party favors, and hang it in the backyard, surrounded by colored party lights.
The 4th of July or anytime in midsummer might be an appropriate time for a Hawaiian-themed party. Most of the men can probably lay their hands on a Hawaiian shirt, and ladies can go from coconut bras and grass skirts to more conservative colorful tee-tops and Hawaiian-print shorts or skirts. Signature drink? Piña Colada–again, easily slushed from a mix in the freezer. Too hot to cook? Set out a platter of fresh fruits (be sure one of them is pineapple), some chips and dip (set the dip in a larger bowl with some cracked ice so you don’t have to worry about it)–and order 3 or 4 Hawaiian pizzas to arrive about an hour into the party. On the 4th of July, avoid the traffic jams, top up your drinks and gather around the television for the local broadcast of fireworks for that single half-hour. If you have the ability to move to the outdoors, have tiki torches on hand.
There is so much Hallowe’en décor available from back-to-school on, that it’s hard to avoid it. And there are so many adult costumes today for people of every size, that it gives grownups the opportunity to dress up and go that party that nobody invited them to as a kid (or a second chance to get their money’s worth out of that costume they bought 2 years ago). Buy a large pumpkin-shaped cookie cutter–if you’re lucky, you might find nested ones that are sold individually: also buy the next size down. Thaw a “sleeve” of frozen hamburger patties completely, and cut each with the cookie cutter (you may have to trim around cutter with a paring knife.) Brown on both sides; cut American or cheddar cheese slices with the smaller cookie cutter; lay over tops of the “pumpkin patties,” turn down heat and cover pan with lid or foil just until cheese is melted. Place on foil-covered cookie sheet for reheating in oven, and refrigerate. Serve with soft dinner rolls and hamburger condiments. A 2-section serving dish will be festive with cheddar-cheese cubes in one side and black olives on the other. Choose Nacho Doritos or Cheetos for a big bowl of “orange” for your chips.
And of course, the winter holidays speak for themselves–although you may not have good luck with turnout at this time of year as everyone is attending work parties, multi-family gatherings, and church or school functions. But the options for these are enormous. Instead of a traditional cocktail party, the “hors d’oevres” can be a variety of desserts, served with many choices of hot, spirited winter beverages–decaf coffee with Irish Cream or Frangelico liqueur, hot chocolate with Peppermint Schnappes, hot buttered rum–or a chilled punchbowl of store-bought eggnog gone frothy with a quart-sized chunk of vanilla ice cream in the middle of the bowl and some 7-up to fizz up the ice cream–guests can add rum, bourbon–or nothing, as they please.
For an engagement party, go elegant. State right on the invitations, “cocktail party attire.” Set a pretty table with fresh (not necessarily expensive) flowers in the center, on a lacy or light-pastel cloth. Use silver, crystal, or other pretty serving pieces for your food table. This will give the event the appropriate tone, to the honored couple, of not only sharing their happy news, but according it a little respect. For anniversary parties, add framed photos of the couple throughout the years scattered about the room, or arranged together as a small collection. In either case, it’s nice to end with a pot of decaf and a small bakery cake with “Congratulations” and the couple’s names.
Adult birthday parties, college graduation parties, and retirement parties are easy to theme based on party-store décor items–you don’t need a lot, perhaps just enough to give you a color scheme (if nothing else fits, just choose some lovely floral napkins and paper plates) and maybe a banner to hang up. Avoid negative “over the hill” birthday themes–you may not know if the guest of honor is actually upset about a particular landmark birthday; don’t make it worse. Select your food based on any of the ideas above, or the favorites of the honoree.
Hopefully these ideas were not too redundant, and provide some thoughts for added festivity to make your cocktail party a success.
01.02.09
