Being a mother - Being a father. Nothing seems to prepare us for these responsible roles in our lives. One of the most important roles we can take on is that of a parent. Yet, there is no college degree in parenting. There is really very little offered at all in terms of learning how to be a good parent. Oh there’s the childbirth classes that prepare us somewhat for the process of bringing the child into the world. And, there’s adoption classes. But, where are these instructors during the daily trials of parenthood? Who instructs us as to what to do when faced with daily decisions that impact our children’s lives. There may be no formal training, but there are a few things that prepare us to be a parent.
During childhood, little girls are given dolls to play with, to care for and to dress and nurture. This is one of the most disillusioning toy. Most real babies don’t just stay put and neatly dressed. And, once mommy is done playing; most babies will not allow mommy to simply go about her merry way doing whatever she chooses.
The game of hot potato, however, is a better parenting preparation toy. It teaches reflexes and nerve connections that will later be triggered with a crying newborn in the middle of the night - A hungry child in the middle of the day, or a hurt child needing immediate attention. The overwhelming feeling you get that comes over every part of your nervous system when trying to toss that hot potato to the next player before the buzzer goes off is the same feeling you will feel at 2:30 a.m. when awoken by a screaming child. Though, you won’t want to throw them to the next player, you will feel the same sensation of needing to care for something (in this case, someone) immediately. Or, you may feel the need to pass them onto your spouse.
Another situation during childhood that prepares us for parenthood is being a child among more than one sibling. When a family consists of 3 or more children, the children are typically required to share. Nothing is truly your own. Most things are passed down and around for the entire family to share. This may be frustrating to you as, perhaps the youngest child, but it is wonderful preparation for parenthood. There are days you will not even be allowed to use the restroom alone without being accompanied by a needy and clingy toddler. Everything that you thought was yours will suddenly be thought of as "mine" to your child. The ability to move into this smoothly might just come from having siblings while growing up.
Once in the workforce, there is one single job that is the best preparation for parenthood. Waiting tables. Perhaps a close second is any other form of customer service. In these jobs, we are trained that the customer is always right. Even if they are wrong, they are right. And, they will be demanding. And, you will be expected to please them. When we become parents, it’s not our job to constantly please our children. In fact, if we do give them everything they desire, they will become spoiled and unruly. However, when you wait on tables or deal with the general public in a customer service-related job, you get the training you need to deal with the constant demands your children will make. "I’m hungry." "I’m thirsty." "I’m bored!" "I need some new clothes." "I need a bath." "I need a new diaper." The list goes on and on, and it is usually demanded when you are at the end of your "shift" and wanting to relax. Waiting tables or customer service provides wonderful training for parenthood.
There is, no doubt, other childhood toys, situations and later workforce situations that prepare us for parenthood. So, until colleges adapt their curriculum to include Parenting 101 or a Bachelors in Parenting, it will be from these situations that we glean our expertise as parents.
