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The Real Survivors ( Funny Top Ten Tips for Parents of Teenagers!)

by Susan McCord, Staff Writer

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How many of us really remember our teen years and how bratty we were to our parents and our siblings? Many of us have no realization of how difficult we were to live with between the ages of 13-20 years old. High school teachers should be paid as much as psychologists! You couldn’t pay us enough to deal with teenagers’ “sense of entitlement” attitude of the millennium. What has happened to our kids? Have we spoiled them into having these huge expectations? They used to be afraid of us, and now we are afraid of them!  We have to take back our control of who is actually the household boss. They need to know we are not taking it anymore.  My Talk Show Co-Host, Sandra, and I are both parents of teens and here are the top ten tips that we have found works the best! Humor will always get you through the day…

1) Drink lots starting at 3PM before kids get out of school

2) Do not listen to your friends about taking prescriptions drugs; Prozac is your daily vitamin now!

3) NEVER EVER give your teen’s school, your home address/e-mail or real phone number. In fact set up a voice mail on a “pay as you use” cell phone, saying “you are out of town” indefinitely!

4) Drink lots, oh yeah already said that.

5) Start baking marijuana cookies; put them out for an afternoon snack for your teen and their friends upon their arrival home from school. Ensure you have one too. It has a calming effect to help you deal with the anxiety of their return.

6) Invest in underground vault. Remove all booze from your liquor cabinet and transfer.

7) To keep them from having sex under your roof, video them and threaten YouTube exposure on them. (To ensure them you know how to actually do it, put one up of the them naked when they were 10)

8) Send them to summer camp and then move without a forwarding address.

9) Play the new parents game “change the locks regularly” just to keep them on their toes!

10) Cancel all Internet, Cable and any new techno gadget on their 13th birthday. This will keep your child and all their friends at someone else’s house!

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