Leaving a workplace can feel like you are jumping off of a cliff. It may leave you feeling lighter than air. You never know if what you’re doing is a good thing or a bad thing.
There are always questions inside of you chattering away.
I believe how we process these questions affects their outcome.
One big question I process through when I make changes in a workplace is:
If I leave this job and go to a new position, am I guaranteed a better place to work, more money, and a better working environment? In a word – no. Sometimes it is a 50/50 shot. Sometimes it is what you make it. Sometimes things don’t’ work out. There are uncertainties when we make changes. There is a certain amount of the unknown even if you have done your homework by investigating the new workplace and asking all the appropriate questions during the interview process. Do realize that sometimes risks and hard work can produce great rewards but there are no guarantees.
Other questions I can honestly admit to obsessing over every time I make a change in jobs are:
- Will I like it?
- Will I fit in?
- Will I be accepted?
First question: Will I like it?
Answer to myself, “Well, you don’t like this anymore do you? – Or - You are so bored –or- There is no further you can aspire to where you are now. Do you like being bored, stifled and stuck? So now, do want to stay or do you want to go?” Well, now, you may really want to go. You probably wanted to go all along. We can scare ourselves with new things by giving into fear of the unknown. Mind chatter can be a dangerous thing if we don’t’ process it and keep the good parts. Mind chatter can jumble things up and confuse us if not sifted through properly.
Sort through and let only the important parts gel. Throw out the rest and don’t’ give it a second thought.
The next question: Will I fit in?
Answer to myself again, “You didn’t fit in at your current position at first, did you? Don’t expect it will happen overnight at a new workplace.” Wow, that seemed like it just fell out of the brain, didn’t it? Turn those concerns into questions and the answers seem to come. Once you start answering your own concerns, you find it is easier to do this in life in general.
Remember, questions are good.
Next question: Will I be accepted?
Answer: Yes, eventually and No, maybe never. Hey! I said MAYBE.
Now you know you don’t get along with every person you come across currently. What would make you think you can please all of the people all of the time and there will never be conflict?! That is an unrealistic and unobtainable goal. What would be required in this instance is called “Tolerance”. Something required in the world as a whole, and a necessary element in the workplace.
Let me refer you back to a little article here on Factoidz.com, called “Be Yourself in the Workplace”. People really seem to relate to the conclusions reached in this article and I believe it has been of great assistance to those who have reviewed it. We love to be accepted in a group but we still want to be ourselves. Assimilation is not necessary. Total acceptance may never come from others. It doesn’t mean we can’t be happy to accept ourselves just as we are.
Growing up in my house, there was always someone to talk to and I find this has helped me to relate to others very positively in many facets of life. It has made me braver and bolder in larger groups and I do public speaking. When I get nervous or jittery before speaking I remember what mother told me sooooo many times. She said “They (whoever it was) asked you. They didn’t ask anyone else, which means they thought you, would do it the best. You accepted their offer because you knew you could do it. Now go do it.”
I have applied this little piece of wisdom every time I make a workplace change and it makes me remember how very capable I am. Now I am sharing it with you. You got the job – no matter what that job is – they chose you because they thought you were the best and most capable candidate – you accepted this new position for your life - now go do it.
apbeilach 2/26/2009
