Are you getting any? Like most people I meet I’m sure you could use with a bit more. It’s totally normal to want to have more and better sex with people we’re interested in. In fact it’s a primary human drive that plays a big part in how we live our lives. Sex and the desire for it influences where we live and where we go, how we behave and what we wear, what we do and how we spend our money, etcetera. Sex is a big deal and sometimes it seems everyone is having it but you. Go out to any night spot on earth and you’ll see it’s full of people dressed to the nines and ready for some fun with a potential partner - either current or future. Look around enough and you’ll see people cuddling and kissing and generally getting frisky. Some of these people may have come to that night sport or restaurant together but a significant percentage of them didn’t - that can only mean one thing - they just met! How come those two people were so attracted to to each other that they can’t help but make-out beside the billiard table - and more importantly why aren’t either of them making-out with me!?
If you are to increase your success rate in this area you need to know and understand the source code of sexual connection. It turns out that it all boils down to 4 very basic (on the surface) rules of the sexual connection. Social scientists agree that essentially, in order to find a sexual mate each of us must qualify. So what are the criteria that are being applied to us by the ones we feel compelled to get busy with. The answer is as shocking as it is simple:
1) Proximity - Criteria number one states that you are more likely to get lucky in an environment where you spend a lot of time.
2) Show Discernible Physical Desire - Criteria number two states that you are more likely to get lucky with a potential mate who can sense you find them physically attractive.
3 ) Social Group Acceptance - Criteria number three states that you are more likely to get lucky with a potential mate who feels their social circle (or tribe) would approve of them in choosing to mate with you.
4) Be Physically Desirable - Criteria number four states that you are more likely to get lucky with a potential mate if they find you physically attractive.
Social scientists agree that all 4 of these do not have to be in play 100% of the time for you to succeed in meeting and having sex with a potential mate.
As an example, your potential mate might have noticed you around after a time, seen that you were attracted to them and noted that their social circle would approve before finally agreeing to “close the deal” with you. The truth is your mate may not find you as physically desirable as someone else in their environment - but you beat out your competitors in three other key areas. Conversely, you may be the most attractive person in the room. You may have the stamp of approval from the social group and live in the neighborhood - but failed to make your own attraction to the potential mate known and so you lose to your less attractive and acceptable competition.
Though on the surface the rules seem over simplified and maybe even shallow, upon reflection you’ll find that the simplicity of each rule makes room for complex issues that you may feel are missing. As an example, Rule number three allows for lower order criteria many of you probably feel are required to make a go / no-go decision of a sexual nature. Things like level of education, dress, social standing, and obvious wealth - even things like the “right” hair cut can fit into the decision making process you will go through in determining whether your social circle will reject you for accepting a mate. This is true for all of the rules.
If you keep these rules in mind when planning your next outing you may be surprised at the decisions you make about what to wear, what to spend, where to go and who to lock eyes with. make sure to check back for my next factoid where I will expand upon each rule in detail and outline the application of 4 rules decision making in social settings.
