According to Wallet Pop, an AOL financial-news column, the numbers are in, and the cost of an “average” American wedding dropped from 2007’s approximation of $28,000 by more than $6,000, to $21,814 in 2008–and I’d be willing to bet it has continued to plummet even more dramatically since then, as 2008 was just the beginning of the recessional slide.
Brides are naturally conscious of some of their friends’ fabulously unaffordable weddings in previous (but recent) years–which they are still paying off at 27% interest–but for the first time in a long while, a lot of couples are simply walking away from the whole concept of “keeping up with the Joneses”. They still want fun, festive weddings, but are spending more time thinking about what is meaningful to them as a couple, or prioritizing elements of their celebration for possibly just one splurge that they want the most, or that will make their wedding unique or memorable, instead of lusting after everything they see at their local Wedding Expo.
A year ago, they could still splurge on a fantasy wedding AND get into a house for zero-down, even if it was through a dicey loan that would leave them sorry later. Today, if a house is one of their priorities, that money could go a long way toward making up a down payment that has once again become a mandatory requirement of the mortgage banking industry.
More brides are taking up the offers of talented friends and family members who offer their services to provide many “must-haves” that they would otherwise have to pay for, such as the making of their wedding cake, doing their flowers, or teaming up together to decorate the venue; even–if given enough lead time and keeping the number of attendants reasonable–home-sewing simple bridesmaids’ dresses in gorgeous fabrics. In addition to not paying huge retail prices for the gowns from a bridal salon, most fabric stores give some type of discount for bridal purchases.
Brides without an experienced floral person in their closest circles are opting more often to fulfill their basic floral needs (bouquets, corsages and boutonnieres) with “packages” such as those online at Costco.com or Safeway.com (where you can build the exact package you need), and are simply foregoing huge formal florists’ arrangements altogether, sometimes replacing them with several large-sized vases of grocery-store or Farmers’-Market-type “garden” flowers, casually arranged by loving hands, and set in key locations. The floral departments of many grocery stores or the vendors at Farmers’ Markets are usually happy to try to see that they have a sufficient amount of what you need on the day before or morning of the wedding, if arrangements are made with them a couple of weeks ahead.
More emphasis is being placed on the ceremony itself. Musically-gifted friends are adding tasteful accompaniment to the trip down the aisle–as pianists, cellists, vocalists–not necessarily as an ensemble, but each with their own spotlight moment. For the first time in decades, as the excitement mounts for the service to begin, we’re once again seeing pairs of all-but-extinct candlelighters (what a great opportunity for cousins and nieces too old to be flowergirls but too young to be bridesmaids, who really want to be included!) preceding the processional of bridesmaids, to light candles arranged in the ceremony area.
All of this makes for a return of the wedding celebration to what it originally started out to be: family and friends creating a beautiful day and event for a loved one. It’s where the idea of bridesmaids began.
The Mother of the Bride is able to return to her position as a valued advisor (instead of finding herself in the all-too-common role of recent years, being dismissed as The Bride’s Worst Enemy and shut-out as much as possible from taking part in the planning) in addition to being an active part of the wedding team, often decorating the venue or setting out food shoulder-to-shoulder with the Mother of the Groom, before changing into their dress-clothes for the event.
Fathers and brothers are busy in the reception area wiring up or testing the sound system, setting up tables and chairs; perhaps setting up the bar area.
More and more daytime and even Sunday weddings are being seen, as brides take advantage of lower venue rates at these off-peak times; more brunches and “Cake Reception” weddings. The daytime hours mean more family-centric weddings, where the receptions are trying less to be mini-nightclubs than to provide good, plentiful food and drink and fun music to dance to, with a few more Hokey-Pokey’s and conga lines, in which children can be encouraged to join.
So what do you end up with at the end of this kind of wedding day? Beauty and color; all of the usual wedding traditions; music and dancing; using Grandma’s heirloom crystal punch bowl and hearing your guests rave over Aunt Ellen’s one-of-a-kind potato salad; and finally, taking your leave not in a $400 limo, but by being surprised (whether delighted or humorously appalled) by how your friends have hoochied-up your car–and leaving all the most important people in your lives feeling exhausted but satisfied at being included, and in helping to bring off what has truly been a Labor of Love.
