Most couples choose a slow (but not dirge-like), romantic song for their First Dance. It’s appropriate to the occasion, you’re not moving too fast for the photographer to get a good picture, and if you’re ever going to feature overt romance, your wedding is probably the place to do it. A current trend is torchy love songs from the thirties through sixties–Etta James, Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra, Nat "King" Cole–or one of their current counterparts such as Michael Bublé, Norah Jones, or Harry Connick, Jr.
First, consider: do you have a song that you consider “your song?” If you do, and it’s too irreverent or quick-tempo, you might check on iTunes or Amazon.com to see if there’s an instrumental version of the song that you could use. If it’s inappropriate, you should probably go with something else–and there are tons of songs to go with, you have only to Google “top wedding first-dance songs” for hundreds of possible selections (again, if you prefer an instrumental version, check on iTunes or Amazon.com, where you might find that alternative).
If either of your parents happen to have “a song” that you like, it’s a nice nod to them to consider “their” song if you don’t have one of your own (as long as it doesn’t make the other set of parents feel left out).
The style of dance you will choose will depend largely on your comfort-level as a couple, with dancing in general. With all resurgence of the public’s attention to dance generated by televised dance competitions and particularly “Dancing with the Stars,” it’s nice if you’re able to do more than simply rock from foot to foot to the music; although it worked for the High School Prom, this time all eyes will be on you, and you should practice together to achieve enough moves so that it isn’t the longest, most self-conscious 3 minutes of your life–and of those watching.
Rather than one style, it’s visually interesting (while still keeping things simple) to incorporate 4 or 5 pretty and/or romantic moves from more than one type of music or dance genre, such as blues or swing (it doesn’t have to be a blues or swing song to borrow the move), during the course of your dance piece.
It’s a great idea to Google dance instructors in your area–many will actually offer special sessions for First Dance, Father-Daughter, and Mother-Son Dances, and they don’t make you buy them as a package. These people are miracle workers! Just bring a CD of your chosen song with you, and believe it or not, within a one-hour session they will start you off with the basics, then choreograph the piece with just enough “moves” to gain you a couple of Ooh’s, a couple of Awws, and several good photo-ops (warn your photographer so he/she doesn’t miss them). Be sure to ask the instructor for an idea for a “grand finale” move–later on, if you yourselves come up with a better one while practicing, go ahead and use it. DO NOT FAIL TO PRACTICE. Ten minutes, two or 3 times a week won’t be so much that you get sick of it, and will make a huge difference at both keeping it fresh in your minds and getting better at it.
These sessions are relatively inexpensive, so if, after practicing a couple of times a week, you still don’t feel confident as the wedding approaches, you can always schedule a second session to reinforce that you have things down and are doing it right.
It’s a great feeling to approach this, one of the high points of your celebration, with anticipation and confidence. (And it really helps out with Father-Daughter and Mother-Son dances, too–parents can use an extra shot of confidence when they’re up in front of the crowd, as well.)
02.28.09
