There are many things that you never want for your children to have to deal with, and one of them is being bullied. My oldest child has been bullied several times, this past year, and last school year. I have tried, as any other mother to console her, and tell her my reasons for their behaviors, or any kind words, advice I can give her. We have together, worked through some bullies that seem to have no heart or control over their actions. I hope that as you read this, that if your child has been a victim of bullying or has been bullied in the past, that you try to help them through it. Try to assure them that they are not to blame, just because they walk a certain way, look a certain way, or even carry themselves differently than the majority of their classmates or even different than their tormentors. I think we as parents should help them find the qualities they have and we should concentrate on that.
Now bullying usually comes from a person who has little self esteem. Usually the bully is someone who thinks of their own self as unequal to their peers. Using intimidation methods, name calling, curse words, or teasing or just some of the ways they use to torment another. Bullying is not just for one certain race, type , or individual. You do not have to be weird, strange or different to get bullied. Sometimes bullying comes just because you were in an opportune place at an opportune time. Sometimes you get bullied just because the bully is jealous of something you have or how you look, even because of the attention you get from others.
If you have or know of someone who is being bullied, you should do something about it. If you are too scared to get personally involved, then seek adult help, friend help or administration help. Bullying is not fun, especially if you are the one getting bullied. It does not make the bully any more stronger than you, it actually means they are weaker than you. Remember if your child is going through this, tell them that. It is important to point out that just because they are getting bullied, does not mean that there is anything wrong with them, just the opposite, there is something wrong with that bully.
Seeing my daughter go through this in her school has made me mad, foremost, but it has made me think about things I really did not want to. Things like hitting another person, or bullying back the person who has been bullying her. Now as an adult I know this is ot appropriate behavior, but it infuriates me to no end. The schools should have no tolerance for this sort of thing. They should ban it, no matter what type of bullying it be.
Here is how me and my daughter has been dealing with the whole bullying thing. First off let me tell you what my child has experienced. My daughter is definitely on the small scale, she stands shorter than most of her peers. She is skinny and petite which makes her a good person to be easily intimidated. She is a Christian, and proudly displays her Bible in her school bag, each and every day. She is in a Christian group that is held in conjunction through the school. She will proudly try and talk of her God’s love wherever and to whoever she meets. I am so proud of her, because of her devotion, this is one area she gets bullied. Also she is a very giving sort of person, and if asked she will give it to you, no grudges or expectations are expected in return. She gives freely and because she feels it is the right thing. This has gotten her into a few problems with those who take advantage of a person like her. If for any reason she cannot give, she gets bullied for that. It has been a noticeable problem and I wish there was no bullying, because she does not deserve it. But on occasions she has had shower heads turned towards her gym and school bags, she has had her cell phone stolen, and her Mp3, just because she told someone that they needed to leave her alone, and because they got mad at her, they took her things. I know this because I had someone that spotted and confirmed my daughters things in this person’s bag, and when confronted by the schools Principal, broke down and was crying, but to no avail, all the things were then gone. My daughter had money taken from her purse, last year, three times. She had lent a pen to someone just the other day, later she found it, completely destroyed, and discarded in the classroom floor. When she asked the person whom she let borrow, one of her favorite pens, that person just laughed. This type of thing happens all the time. It makes me mad, and I have talked with several adults about it. But it continues. They call her weird because she is not into the latest fashions, or does not wear the latest brand names. They mock her glasses she wears, and she loves them because they are a new pair. It seems harsh and believe me kids can be so cruel.
I tell my daughter that I am proud, that I believe she is a great kid. I tell her that others do not have families that they can feel loved, secure, or even liked in. I say that maybe this is why they make fun of her, because they are jealous. I also tell her that maybe they are having a bad day. They ones that cuss at my daughter, I tell my daughter, that they probably hear it at home, and maybe that is the way they have been shown to show their feelings. I tell her what my God tells me, and that is to forgive all, and pray for them. It is hard but it is my job to teach my daughter that just because you are treated bad, does not mean you can treat other bad. I do believe she knows that already. So each time she tells me about someone who had nothing better to do than to cuss her, or threaten her, I simply hold her and tell her I am sorry, that I love her, and if she wants me too, I will always be there for her.
Parenthood comes with it’s share of trials, and joys. It is the thing that defines some of us. We are the ones who help to shape our children’s lives and we influence them by how we act. We should teach tolerance, and not hatred. We should teach our children to look at things in both black and white. Foremost we should support them in their dreams, their ambitions and their futures. Do not let them feel alone, if they are bullied, do what you can to alleviatetheir pain. Show them what might be the cause of that bullies frustration, and help them to be better prepared to deal with it, if you cannot get it to stop. Teach them that there are other ways to deal with bullies, give them knowledge so they can be prepared. Give them love so they can go on.
