If you were to sit back and listen when you speak to your children, what are your words telling them? How often in one day do you complement your child? Do you encourage them or do you chastise them? Is what they do “good enough?”
We are all guilty of saying something we do not really mean. In a fit of anger we are capable of having almost anything come out of our mouths. It is at these times that it is even more vital that we hear our selves speaking.
Words are just as damaging as physical contact. What you tell your child can hurt as much as a slap across the face. We do not consider that even something we stay, perhaps in jest or in an attempt to get a laugh can be quite painful to the target of our statements.
We are angered by the many stories of bullying in the school systems. When our child is the target of cruel words we are ready to act at once, insisting that the school system protect our child and put a stop to the abuse, and we do not hesitate to call it abuse. We call it abuse, because it IS abuse, and it is still abuse when the words are from our mouths.
Positive statements and words will promote not just the kinds of behaviors we expect from our children, but will also pave the way for the development of a healthy and strong self esteem. If a child is told repeatedly that they are not good enough can and should do better, behavior better, be a better person, the message to them is clear; they are not good enough as they are now. Words of encouragement and empowerment serve to build confidence in our children while blame and chastisement serve only to bring that child down and begin to believe that they are not capable, deserving people.
Listen carefully. What are you telling children? Even if those children are grown now, How do you speak to them? It is never to late to speak from a place of Love.
