The whole concept of a white-elephant party is that “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” You bring one or more gift, according to the instructions of the host/hostess. The vast majority of ‘white elephant’ gifts are household items that are being re-gifted–but NOT items that are worn out, soiled, or damaged. And nothing remotely medicinal–we recently removed a 14-year-old Fleet enema from recirculating at a party, out of fear that someone who didn’t realize how long it had been growing bacteria might actually USE it. And it (almost) goes without saying that you wouldn’t want to include anything given to you by somebody who will be AT the party; hurt feelings aren’t a good time for anyone. The white elephant party gives a whole new meaning to the term “shop at home.”
Beyond those cautions, anything goes. Do you have a wedding gift that you couldn’t return but doesn’t go with your décor? This is the place. The sports-figure bobble-head that your brother-in-law thought you would love. The moving, speaking Big-Mouthed Bass that stopped being funny as soon as you got it home from the store 2 years ago–this might be a big hit in somebody’s fishing cabin (for about 20 minutes).
Knick-knacks of all types–maybe somebody actually collects ceramic cows or porcelain figures with powdered wigs. A pretty cup and saucer that arrived holding a small flower arrangement after your appendectomy, but for which you have no use now. The “Hello Kitty” alarm clock that your daughter had to have, but two weeks later declared an embarrassment. The spare set of computer speakers you’ve had since before they stopped making computers without speakers. That nice photo album (or frame) that you have no intention of ever using.
The rolling pin for that pie you’re never going to make. A standard-sized socket set you bought but never returned when you discovered you needed metric instead. The box of scented rolls of drawer-liner that your great-aunt gave you. The perfume/aftershave you got last Christmas that you don’t like. The not-your-style earrings/necklace/bracelet you received as a gift from your niece whom you haven’t seen in 8 years. And speaking of gifts, what about those steak knives that you received “as a free gift” when you bought a carving knife you actually needed? A movie DVD or music CD that could not interest you less. A well-intended self-help book. A pencil sharpener shaped like an animal, a teapot shaped like a cottage, a cookie jar shaped like a cartoon character. The remaining furniture-scratchcover markers that you had to buy in a set, only one of which matched your furniture.
And finally, what white elephant party would be complete without a selection of really heinous neckties and a chia pet?
Basically, anything that you have on hand that you’re more than willing to part with, that might be “just the thing” for someone else, or at least can be parlayed into a good laugh. Because this is a white-elephant party–you’re not there to come away with a decent gift, you’re there to have a good time.
12.10.08
