I know I’ve been preaching how unimportant phony baloney/flim flam/image has become over the last tough 6 months since “they” say the Recession started. That time-line is a bit of a flim-flam baloney, as well, but somewhat off the point. This article is about the real need I see (as resident psychic) to revise and change your self-concept and heighten your self-esteem so you can plow past any roadblocks left in your path (romance, economy, Mother Nature). It’s now more important than ever to be in sync with the times ( “cuz the times are a-changin‘”). So here’s my list of Do’s and Dont’s and Whys about how to best arm yourself to meet the future, plowing through 2009, worldly confidence fully intact:
Do’s
Close the door to the past; open a window to the future. Sometimes we just have to move beyond how we used to make our living, who we loved, how good we felt, and so on. This isn’t an easy as it sounds, but if “it” is over, it’s over, and it’s time to move forward. Those who dwell in the past, will either be at stand-still or going backwards. The future is much brighter than it looks, because the changes coming are going to help us determine what’s truly important in our lives (family, love, happiness, doing what we enjoy, etc).
Stop and smell the lettuce. I love (cabbage) roses, but I love lettuce even more, especially if its growing in my own garden, planted there with my own two green thumbs. One of the best activities to come out of 2009’s debacle is the renewed gardening trend. There is nothing quite so affirming and fulfilling than growing your own produce and enjoying it at your own table. Not only thrifty - but a nifty way to see, close up, how planted seeds and sprouts can become mature. Like humans, plants thrive best with careful tending, the right amount of water and healthy nutrition, sunshine, when needed, and a natural way to guard against pests.
Recycle. This is the year when many of us began to see the true value in recycling: what comes around goes around. What better way to make another person’s life better by donating to charity, shelters, or agencies that can use the clothes, furniture and accessories we no longer need. This is as true for the donors as for the customers, who are flocking to the charity thrift stores where good, even new (samples) clothing are available. Books that you’ve read once can find a new home in the library. You can also arrange to have your electronics equipment picked up on certain days by trash haulers. Recycling turns life around - creating more space for the new, more energy, good karma when it goes to someone who needs it.
Love wisely. Pick and choose who deserves your love. Whether it’s a child, a pet, a neighbor,or a friend, times like these are when we began to see false fronts fall and true friends rise up around us. The word “love” has been thrown about carelessly for so long - misused and abused - hyped for marketing purposes and other nefarious reasons. If you love wisely, you will not be disappointed. True love - true meeting - true relationships endure past time, all time. Express your love and gratitude to those who are “there/here” for you in 2009 (when the rubber hit the road). Make a point of recognizing who deserves your love and learn to evaluate if it is being returned in fair measure. Love given and love received brings the most value to your life.
Embrace the Library. The Library is truly one of the last, best places on the planet. Where else can you be so trusted to safe-keep a valuable (a book, DVD, CD?) on the basis of your name, only? I love going to the library; inhaling the feeling of being surrounded by so much creative output; it invigorates and inspires me. But a Library has even more to offer: from parent-child reading sessions, to speeches by authors and artists, to art shows, classical music performances, and more. The best writing group I’ve ever attended meets weekly at my local Library, which by the way, is also great for “social” networking. Generally, when I pass by, every single computer in the tech area is being used; many more people are at work, by the windows, on their laptops. All busy; but all connected by the space they are in together. Visiting the library is a chance to visit the world through armchair travel, take a peek at new horizons described in the latest magazines, share interests, make new friends.
Dont’s:
Unfortunately, there are still gaggles of unscrupulous pirates, cyber-hackers and scam artists circling the globe, hoping to make off with our booty. Here are a few ways to block their access to you - mentally and physically.
Never let them see you blink. Con artists like to stare you straight in the eye to try to gauge how well their pitch is going. If you meet someone who has a deal you can’t refuse, a way to make fast money, a job that sounds too good to be true, do not blink. Blinking is often a sign of weakness, and when a con sees you blink, that just reinforces their desire to scam you. So if you run into one of these “fast-Eddies” stare right back at them, until they blink first. Then go on your merry way, knowing that you blocked them at the pass.
Never let them see you shrink. Similar to blink in terms of signaling weakness, a person trying to take advantage of you (perhaps an unscrupulous mortgage lender or nasty collector or even an ex, stalking you) loves to belittle you, often through harsh words, veiled implications and threats, in order to seem more powerful and to make you feel less so. So, if you are in contact with someone who promises, threatens, or cajoles, put on your acting costume, and give the best performance of your life by acting as if you have the power. Put some cayenne pepper in your voice, keep any conversation brief, keep it simple, but keep it under your control - not the person attempting to wheedle or needle something out of you. If a bully greatly oversteps his/her bounds, you don’t have to put up with it. You can blow the whistle; just never let them see you shrink. Act out of power, not passion.
Never let them see you sink. One of the less-endearing aspects of human nature is gossip. I don’t suppose there’s much we can do about it (look at successful tabloids, for example), but you can protect yourself from the gossip mill, if you keep your personal business to your self. If you’re separating from a long relationship, having to move out of your home, going through some health issues, it’s best to keep those problems private. There will be time aplenty for the neighbors and the acquaintances to learn of the changes going on in your life. Intrusive questions, at a time of crisis, harm positive attempts to move forward. Nosy people like to stick pins in your hopes and dreams - sometimes. They are loathe to admit you may be sinking momentarily, but you can tread water with the best of them, and then swim for the beach. Harmful gossip can be a negative anchor that keeps you from moving faster - away from trouble and towards safety. So, never let “them” (the rumor mills) see you flailing about, if you can help it. If you can’t, well then, make up your mind not to care and move forward with all possible dispatch.
Never let them see you wink. This might be the least important of my rhyming “Dont’s” but it is not all that unimportant. There’s a time and place for humor and self-disclosure. Winks can often be so mis-interpreted (just ask Sarah Palin). If you’re trying to make a point, find a job, meet someone new via a dating service, put the wink in your pocket, with your cell phone, where it belongs. It is possible for a single wink to undo all the good you might have just done in selling your “new” self (to a blind date or the voting public). If I wink at all (and I confess, I do) I wink solely in my mind, where no one else but another psychic can see it.
Finally, there are a whole lot of other Don’t “inks” out there - drinks, finks, stinks, and so on. If there’s a negative “ink” missing from this list and the shoe fits, wear it. Don’t allow any “inks” that bring you down to find any more room in your life. Accentuate the positive, like the old song goes. Eliminate the negative. (Simply ink it out).
The Whys: Ordinarily, I would not be writing about the need to keep your self-esteem and confidence intact. But, you see, these are not ordinary times. It’s hard to tell what’s up and what’s down. I know many people out of work, but I also know many people thriving in their jobs. I see houses advertised as “bank owned” and right down the block, houses “pending escrow.” Some restaurants I drive by are boarded up and closed down; others are running over with people on the patio, chatting and dining. Regardless of our circumstances - some people sailing through, some tanking - we are all being changed by these times. Down-sizing, down-scaling, renovating, re-figuring - are all part and parcel of a pattern of a dyamic change in 2009 that will affect us all. I see this massive Change (which has not yet been named) as positive - moving us towards a renewed love of nature and of family; to becoming more nurturing and spiritual. In time, we will be honor the true heroes and heroines who sacrificed, worked extra-hard, and gave of themselves now in order to turn things around in the future.
Those of us who cling to bling or to logo mania might want to reassess the wisdom of continuing to flaunt these bad habits, for a time will soon come when we must explain how we can fit into a streamlined future where the word “excess” is no longer worshiped. Those of us who have weathered some difficult times, already know how much we can do without - and how important basic values are to our lives. We will want to pull back our shoulders, puff up our chests, and put a wry smile back on our faces - showing the world we have what it takes to thrive: Leaders of the pack.
And that’s how you plow through 2009 and reap harvest in 2010 and beyond, with self-esteem and confidence.
(with special thanks to lyrics from Bob Dylan’s,“The Times They Are A-Changin‘, Johnny Mercer’s Accentuate the Positive and The Shangri-Las’ Leader of the Pack). )
4-10-09
