If you feel you have to say it, it’s not a gift worth giving or receiving.
Through your actions, the heart speaks. Do you listen and care about what you’ve heard? Do you realize their happiness is actually yours? Do you have a mutual respect, admiration and longing to understand them completely? Do you trust and are you trustworthy? Do they mean more to you than anyone else in the world, including family? Do you argue about what is “mine”, or, do you search for the pleasure of giving to the fulfillment of their happiness? When you think about what is good for you, do you think about what is good for your love? Have you removed your mask? If the time should come…would you still love them as you push their wheelchair or stay faithfully by their side on their deathbed? Even then, would you wish to trade places and suffer their pain? If this is in your heart, they will know you love them.
I was married at a very young age and thought I had all the answers. I had a beautiful wife and assumed everything should be fair and equal. However, we didn’t always agree and frequently had unresolved issues. I observed an older man I worked with and his wife acting like playful newlyweds (this was already missing in my marriage). After hearing they had been married fifteen years, I confided in him. I explained the 50-50 concept and he replied, “It won’t work that way, you’re still divided. It has to be 100% for each other.” I’ve never forgotten his advice, (suffering numerous failed attempts at love and many years of maturing) it finally made sense.
Are you prepared for love? Sharing love is an art form and your heart is the canvas. There are very few fortunate ones that have entered a relationship with a clean canvas and painted a beautiful picture together. As for the rest of us, we have encountered many different “artists” that paint with a variety of colors. Once the canvas is painted, it is virtually impossible to clean. We enter a new relationship and, most often, the colors are visible. For many, we don’t want anyone to touch that canvas; for those who don’t want to live without love, the paint gets extremely heavy.
The remedy is a decision. You must be willing to trust again. Infatuation and lust are not love. Be aware of the colors and reputation of the artist you want to trust. Then, in time, allow them to paint a new portrait of love in your heart. It is usually fortunate to have wealth, prestige, a good family and friends, excitement, goals, similar values and hope. However, without love all of that means nothing and only a mutually unselfish love will grow. When you find them, “I love you” will be an exhilarating confirmation of what you already know.
